


Can't take my mind off you

by lostinmyownmind



Category: Sally Face (Video Games)
Genre: Abuse, Awkward Crush, Bullying, Child Abuse, Eventual Romance, Fluff and Smut, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Gay, Homophobic Language, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Other, Overprotective Larry, Redemption, References to Depression, Religious Conflict, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-07
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2019-10-24 00:21:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 48,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17694005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostinmyownmind/pseuds/lostinmyownmind
Summary: Travis is a 17 year old boy living in Nockfell, and the only things that matter to him are his family and The Church.But as time passes, those two things start to make him feel trapped in an endless void of misery and self-hate.That is, before a mysterious, blue-haired boy wearing a freaky mask catches his attention.He can’t keep his mind off him.





	1. • 1998 • ~ Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted to say I don’t really know where I’m going with this. It was like 2 am, I was watching Sally Face walkthrough videos and I realized how much I can relate to Travis, so I thought I’d write a story centered on him. I dunno how long this will be, I just started writing out of the blue.  
> Also, I think that during the Bologna Incident Sal is 16 and Travis is 17, but I’m not sure.  
> Don’t kill me for any grammar mistakes, but do give advice if needed. English isn’t my first language, but I really am trying my best, haha.  
> See you soon, and thanks for reading.

Travis opened his sore eyes, letting out a sleepy groan.

He had managed to fall asleep when the sunlight had already began to shine through his bedroom’s window, and he hadn’t had a good seven-hours sleep in maybe a week, or even more. He was exhausted.

 

 

He sat up and took a deep breath, rubbing his eyes lazily. He flinched, remembering that his right eye was bruised, and let his hands fall in his lap. He stared at the wall on the opposite side of the room, a cross staring right down at him.

 

 

Unlike you would expect from a guy his age, his room was pretty much empty. The walls had been repainted recently, so they were white and clean, just like his father wanted.

He only had a small closet and a bedside table next to his king-sized bed. There were no pictures or posters on the walls, nothing. Just a family picture hanging above his head and a big wooden cross on the opposite wall.

 

 

He raised his hands, putting them together and close to his face as he closed his eyes. He forced a smile before looking up.

 

 

“ _Dear Lord, I don’t know who or what will cross my path today. But I do know that You are my rock and my fortress._ ” he whispered to himself.  
“ _You are my shield and my strong tower_. _Help me to anchor myself to You today. Teach me how to stand strong in You and choose only Your way today._ ” his smile fell just slightly.  
“ _Help me walk by Your truth and not my feelings._ ” he closed his eyes again and took a deep breath, feeling a familiar weight in his chest. He needed to focus.  
“ _Help me to embrace anything that comes my way as an opportunity to see You at work and as an opportunity to point others at You. Amen_.”

 

 

And with that, he made the sign of the Cross and stood. Aware of the weight still lingering in his chest, he took a few deep breaths, hoping he’d calm down. He did, eventually, and walked out of his bedroom.  
He made his way to the bathroom and closed the door once he got inside. He frowned, shuddering as soon as he saw his reflection in the mirror above the sink.

 

 

He hoped it wouldn’t have been as visible this time, but the Lord obviously had other plans for him.  
_‘whoever suffers in the body is done with sin’_ , his father would tell him, so it was all right.

 

  
His eye was swollen and the skin around his eye socket had darkened, making him wish he had any kind of concealer to cover it up, at least a little bit.  
But it was going to be a cold day in Hell before his father let him bring any kind of makeup in his house, because _‘men wearing makeup are an abomination’._

Then again, he wouldn’t have needed makeup in the first place if it wasn’t for his dad.

He shrugged the thought off, splashed some water on his face and walked back to his room to get dressed.

 

  
He stared at the few clothes hanging neatly in his wardrobe, and decided to wear a purple shirt with long sleeves, then his usual shorts. He thought the purple and pink shirt looked way too _gay_ for him, but purple had always been his mother's favorite color.

 

 

He quickly grabbed his backpack and made his way to the kitchen. His father was nowhere to be seen, so he assumed he was still sleeping. He drank a glass of orange juice, trying to make no noises while opening the fridge and getting the glass from the sink.  
He sat on the kitchen counter and raised his hand to touch his swollen eye once again. _Fuck, people are going to notice for sure this time._

 

 

After a few minutes he heard heavy footsteps in the distance. He quickly hopped off the counter and put the glass back in the sink, trying to be as quiet as possible.  
He froze, he could feel his presence in the room. When Travis turned around, his father wasn’t looking at him, thankfully.

 

 

The man was even taller than Travis. He was bulky, his shoulders broad and arms muscular. His hair was blond as well, and he must have been in his late 40’s. Travis wasn't sure about how old he was. He had never asked.

He looked intimidating, or at least Travis thought he did.  
No one else did, though. He seemed to be nice to anyone but his own son.

 

 

Travis stood straight and plastered a smile on his face. “Good morning, father.” He said politely, not wanting to sound as tired as he did. “I was just about to leave for school.”

 

The dark-skinned man went to sit on the couch, holding papers. Church stuff, Travis figured. After a few seconds he finally decided to look up, but his expression didn’t change. It was blank and made Travis shiver with anxiety.

 

“Did you do your morning prayers?” He asked, his voice deep and low. It wouldn’t have sounded comforting even if he had tried, which he hadn’t. He never did.

 

“Yes, sir.” Travis mumbled, lost in thoughts. After a second he realized that he had only whispered, and cleared his throat. “Yes, sir.” he repeated, his voice more audible now.

 

His father then stood and approached him, and that alone made the frightened boy look down at his own feet. But he had to look up, he knew his father hated it when Travis wouldn't look at him while he spoke, so he did. But it was like his eyes couldn’t focus on the tall man standing in front of him.

 

“Here. Take these, hand some to your friends at school.” The man said and gave him some Phelps Ministry fliers. Travis blinked and read the big phrase printed on the first page.  
_‘God sees all’_

“You know most of them need it. It’s like kids nowadays have no respect for the Lord.”

  
Travis could feel his heartbeat speed up, and he physically couldn’t look at his father anymore.

  
“Spreading the word of God is the only way to save their filthy, sinner souls.” He smiled down at his son, who forced a smile of his own. He just wanted to get out of there, he felt like he was about to throw up. “Don’t you agree, son?"

  
He put a hand on Travis’s shoulder, and the boy flinched away before looking up at his dad. His father, the man who had caused him so much pain in the last few years.

But he loved Travis, right? He did it to protect him, to teach him a lesson. Because that’s what fathers do... _right?_

  
“Of course.” he murmured, “Will do.”

 

“Now go, or you’ll miss the bus.”

  
Travis nodded as he went to grab his backpack, and thankfully his father didn’t say another word. He couldn’t handle any kind of conversation at the moment.

 

“See you later, dad.” he said and closed the door behind him, taking a deep breath.  
How could his own house make him feel so unsafe? He’d rather be anywhere else than over there, with his own father, the person he should have looked up to the most.

 

 

He ran a hand through his blond hair before he started to walk towards the nearest bus stop. Thankfully he got there just in time, and hopped on the bus just before it left.

 

 

As soon as the doors closed, he felt like everyone was staring at him. _It's just a fucking bruise, have they never seen one?_

 

 

He sat alone at the back of the bus, near the window, and placed his head against it. After maybe five minutes he saw a few familiar figures raise their arms, signaling the bus driver that they needed to get on.

 

 

Travis’s breath cut short as Sal hopped on the bus. He needed to calm down. _What the fuck is wrong with you?_

  
It was probably the sight of _him_. That stupid, _ugly_ mask of his always freaked him out. That’s why he acted so weird around him. What a fucking _freak._  
He couldn’t stand Sal. He hated everything about him: the way he walked around showing off his ripped clothes, freaky mask and ponytails- that made him look like an absolute _fag_ , by the way.

  
He couldn’t stand the way he’d paint his nails sometimes, the way his blue eyes shined when he smiled-

“Damn man, what happened?” He heard the voice he would have never expected to hear, and he turned his head to see Sal, holding his backpack with one hand.

Larry and Chug were standing behind him. The green-haired, shorter boy didn't look interested. He was actually trying not to get involved, Travis knew he hated his guts. Larry, on the other hand, stared down at the blond in a way that made his blood boil with rage.

  
He didn’t like Larry either, obviously. He was always too close to Sal, he was sure there was something _unholy_ between them. He almost felt like vomiting for the third time that morning.

“Nothing that should concern you, fag.” He mumbled under his breath, and Sal said nothing back before he left.

  
Travis took a deep breath and went back to staring out of the window, hoping that the day wasn’t going to suck as much as the previous one had.

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Travis waited for the bus to get empty before getting off. He really just wanted Sal to leave before him, but wouldn’t admit it to himself. He played with the small plastic band around his wrist before grabbing his backpack and getting off the bus, staring at the familiar building in front of him.

 

 

He absolutely hated school.

He felt like he wasn’t learning anything, especially in the last few months. Why hadn’t he dropped out already?

Oh, right. Because his dad would probably disown him for ‘humiliating the family’s name’, so he couldn’t even suggest being home schooled, or taking some time off school. The stress was eating him alive.

He had even contemplated leaving school to be a preacher like his father, but that scared him more than getting bad grades.

 Plus, he was going to graduate soon. 

 

He was going to get through it, he knew it. He wasn’t __weak__ , he couldn’t waste time. He just needed to pray and hope for it to get better.

 

 

He started walking towards the entrance, trying to ignore the fact that no one was walking alone but him. Having no friends at school kind of sucked.

He did talk to people, sometimes, but he didn’t really have anyone to consider a friend. He had accepted the fact that he wasn’t good at socializing, at all.

 

 

Lost in his thoughts, he looked up only when he knew he was close to his locker. He took the fliers his father had given him, opened the rusty locker and put them inside. He wasn’t going to help his father after the previous night, even if it made him feel guilty. _You don’t disobey, ever._

 

 

After a few minutes he heard the familiar voice of Ashley Campbell. Travis thought she was weird, always hanging out with Sal and his stoner friend... and the stuff she drew in art class could only described as demonic.

 

 

 _‘you’re going to be okay, you’re pretty good at maths.’_ Her voice was soft, but not too comforting at the same time.

 

 _‘I know. Hopefully it won’t be as hard as I expect it to be.’_  he could recognize that muffled voice anywhere: it was Sal.

 

 

Travis quickly turned his head to watch as the tall girl- she wasn’t really __that__ tall, but then again, everyone was taller than Sal- smiled down at the blue-haired boy.

Suddenly, Travis felt like someone had stabbed him in the chest. He had a Math examination he had completely forgotten to study for.

 

 

He started panicking as he quickly took hold of his notebook and flipped the pages. He knew the information wasn’t going to end up in his brain just by reading it, but it was better than nothing.

 

 

After maybe five minutes the bell rang, and he felt a familiar wave of anxiety wash over him. He wasn’t anxious because of the bad grade and possibly failing Maths...

he was afraid of his dad’s reaction. He knew he cared a lot about his school results, and now he was just going to make him more disappointed than he already was.

He couldn’t handle another night of _those_.

 

 

His hands shook slightly as he closed the locker and watched Sal and Ashley wave each other goodbye before going to their respective classes.

 

 

Travis took a deep breath and ran his thumb across the small cross on the golden necklace he always wore. For a second it made him relax, and he threw his backpack over his shoulders.

_It’s going to be okay._

 

* * *

 

 

Travis stared down at the sheet of paper that the teacher had given him, and felt like he was about to cry. Or puke. Or both.

 _You are becoming too goddamn sensitive_.

He had been so unfocused those past few months he couldn’t remember anything about useless, _fucking_ Maths.

 

 

He tried to answer to some of the questions, especially the easy and multi-choice ones, but he still felt like he was going to fail.

 

 

After almost an hour, he hadn’t even completed half of the test, and he wasn’t sure if the answers he had given were actually correct. He ran a hand through his blond hair and exhaled, glaring at the old teacher sitting at her desk.

 

 

The woman craned her neck to look at something behind him, and cleared her throat.

 

“Excuse me, Mr. Fisher?”

 

No response.

 

“Sal, wake up!”

 

Had Sal been sleeping? Travis slowly moved his gaze to the blue-haired boy sitting behind him. Sal blinked awake, quickly straightening his posture on his chair.

 

“H-Huh?” he mumbled sleepily, blinking twice to focus. His ponytails were messy, and his mask had moved to the side just slightly. Still, no skin was exposed and he was quick to put it back in place.

What a __weirdo__.

Travis couldn’t help but wonder if he had troubles sleeping as well, that’s why he always fell asleep in class. Not that he cared, obviously.

 

“That doesn’t look like Math to me.” Mrs. Packerton said, but her lips were curled up in a smile and she didn't look angry at all. Travis thought she was creepy as shit.

 

“Oh, sorry. I must have dozed off.” Sal said politely. “I already finished the test.” He added after a moment, and Travis furrowed his eyebrows.

 

How the hell could he finish the test, check if he had done everything correctly, and have the time to take a nap in only one hour?

 

“I know, dear. You aced it as well. Very good.” Mrs. Packerton said and Travis tightened his grip around his pen so much his knuckles went white.

 

“Just try to stay awake for the remainder of class, okay?” The woman asked with a smile, and Sal nodded.

 

“Sure, it won’t happen again.” He said, then his eyes met Travis’s, and they held each other’s gaze for a few seconds. Sal could probably sense his anger, and Travis wanted him to.

He didn't know why he was angry.

 

“...And Mr. Phelps, eyes on your own paper.” The teacher added, but this time she didn’t smile. Travis turned around and went back to his test with a frustrated groan.

 

“Class is almost over. Make sure everyone hands in their tests before leaving.” The teacher announced, and it seemed like every student in the room got nervous all of a sudden. Everyone but Sal, of course.

 

Travis did, too, but at that point he knew he couldn’t fix it. He just wrote his name in the corner of the paper and waited for the bell to ring. 

 

After everyone had handed in their tests, he stayed in the room for a few minutes, until everyone left.

 

“Are you feeling alright, Mr. Phelps?” Mrs. Packerton’s voice made him jump slightly in his chair. _Fucking creepy old lady._ “You seem distraught.”

 

“Ah... no. Just checking... things,” he murmured as he put his pencil case in his backpack. When he looked up, the woman was still staring at him. _Well, fuck this._  He thought and stood.

 

“See you tomorrow, Travis. And remember, you can always get better.”

 

Travis froze in place as he held his backpack with one hand and looked at the old lady sitting at her desk. Did she know about his internal conflict? How? _He_ didn’t even know what the hell was wrong with him, how could she? “What do you mean?”

 

Mrs. Packerton smiled. “Math might be boring and hard sometimes, but if you put effort into it, you’ll get better results. Just try to focus more in class next time.”

 

Travis took a deep breath. Math. It was just about Math. “Oh, sure.” He said, and he didn’t know if he should have felt relieved or disappointed. “I have class now. See you, Mrs. Packerton.”

 

“See you tomorrow, Phelps.”

 

* * *

 

 

As he left the classroom, the first thing he saw was Sal talking to Ashley once again. Did they really have to talk after every class, _every fucking day_?

_Maybe you’re just jealous because you have no friends._

 

 _“The test was fairly easy.”_ Sal said, and Travis felt like he was going to blow up. He was mad at himself, but Sal bragging about how easy the test had been when he was sure that he had failed it pretty much did it for him.

 

 _“See, I knew you’d pass.”_ The brunette said excitedly, a big smile plastered on her face. But that smile vanished as soon as Travis walked closer to them.

 

“Hey, freak!” He called, and the blue-haired boy turned around to look at him. _Huh, he probably gets called that a lot, he knows_. _Heh._ “Nobody likes a goody-two-shoes, Saaally Face!” 

 

He didn’t even know why he was doing that. _do you hate yourself that much, you have to use your insecurities to make people feel bad?_

 

“Nobody likes a cliché bully, Traaavis.” The shorter boy said, mimicking his tone of voice.

 

“Don’t you have anything better to do?” Ashley asked as she stepped closer to them. Her voice dripped with venom and hatred for Travis. He almost felt flattered.

 

The taller boy narrowed his eyes and scoffed. “Shut up, bitch. I wasn’t talking to you.”

 

Ashley’s face scrunched up at that, and it made him feel satisfied. But he also felt... bad. Like, relly bad, and he didn't know why.

 

“You know, if you took that stick out of your ass you may actually enjoy yourself for once. Maybe even make a friend or two.” Sal mumbled, and Travis could tell he was actually getting annoyed just by the way his eyes looked from behind the mask.

 

“Fuck off, faggot!” He shouted, clenching his fists harder. He really wanted to punch something, or someone. How dare Sal push his buttons and talk about his insecurities?

_Then again, you did the same thing to him._

“I have more friends than you’ll ever have!”

He felt his heartbeat get faster, and he wasn’t sure if he could have been able to control himself any longer.

 

It was all his fault. Sal and his friends hadn’t done anything to hurt him, and he was always attacking them for no reason, just like his father attacked him for no reason. The realization made his stomach turn.

 

“You kiss your daddy with that tongue?” Sal retorted, and Travis couldn’t take it anymore. That word was something he couldn't get out of his head, no matter how hard he tried or screamed, or cried. 

 

 

He saw red and before he knew, his fist collided with Sal’s prosthetic, and holy shit, that hurt.

He probably hurt himself more than he hurt Sal by punching that solid thing, but he didn’t care. He felt a little better and a little worse at the same time as he walked past them.

 

“What the hell, asshole?!” He could hear Ash yell at him, but he didn’t look back.

He looked at his reddened knuckles and grunted to himself.

 

_Is this what father feels whenever he hits me?_

 

Travis felt horrible. He did not want to act like his father, but he was just so... angry.

He wasn't going to apologize. __You’re not weak__ , he told himself. _Fuck that freak and his stupid friends._

 

 

But the weight in his chest wouldn’t leave, no matter how much he prayed, how much he told himself he was better than his father. He felt... he didn’t know what he felt. He just wanted to feel better.

 

 

When the last bell rang, he decided that he wasn’t going to take the bus. He couldn’t risk seeing Sal and his friends. Well, especially Larry. The stoner was probably preparing some kind of revenge because he had hurt his _poor little precious_ Sally _fucking_ Face, and he didn’t really feel like getting into a fight. Not when his body was that sore, and his mind was that numb.

 

 

He decided to walk home, thinking that some fresh air and walking in solitude, away from all the other kids, would have made him feel better.

 

 

It didn’t, but at least he was home.

 

 

He opened the door and quietly stepped inside. He rested his back against the wooden door and looked at his knuckles again. They were unnaturally dark, and he knew were going to bruise. He hated himself.

He had really punched Sally _fucking_ Face.

Now he really had no chances.

_What chances?_

 

He shrugged the thought off and walked towards his room. He carelessly tossed his backpack aside and sat down, once again touching his necklace and trying to control his breathing.

 _You're such a fucking disappointment_.

 

 

He laid down and laid his head on his soft pillow, the fatigue kicking in. He closed his eyes and slowly drifted off to sleep.

 

* * *

 

 

_“If you’re just gonna spend your afternoons slacking off, might as well come to Church more often. I can barely show my face in there without being embarrassed of you.”_

 

The voice was intense and it woke Travis up immediately. _Fuck. What time is it?_

He was supposed to be studying and, jokes on him, he felt even more tired than before.

 

“I’m sorry, father. It’s just been... a tough day.” He mumbled as he sat up to stand. He glanced around the room and noticed that his backpack was open, and the books had been set on the floor.

_Did he just go through my fucking stuff?_

 

“I see you did give away the fliers.”

 

“Ah, yes.” Travis lied, heart thumping fast in his chest. “I told them exactly what you told me... that being a sinner is wrong and that they need to pray and work on that.”

 

His father’s expression didn’t change, and Travis noticed thar he was looking at his bruised knuckles. _Please God please don’t ask._

__

“Good.” He scoffed and started to walk out of the room. Travis sighed in relief.

“You might want to start preparing dinner, unless you’re not hungry.” He reminded him and finally left.

 

 

Travis sighed and let himself fall back on the bed, bringing his hands up to his face and grunting in frustration.

No matter how much he tried not to think about what had happened, his thoughts kept going back to Sal, and he couldn’t understand why.

 

 

The day had definitely sucked, but he was starting to get used to it.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

_“Why did you do it?”_

  
_A muffled voice made Travis open his eyes. Confused and shaken, he glanced around the dark and cold room that didn’t seem so familiar anymore._

_“who’s there?”_

_He could hear someone cry into the darkness, and he started to walk towards the sound absentmindedly._

_“Look at what you did,” the person sobbed, and he could finally see whose voice it was._

_Sal Fisher sat on the floor, blue hair covering his face as he cried. His prosthetic was shattered in pieces, that were scattered all over the floor._

_A shiver ran up Travis’s spine. “Sal?” He tried to speak, but the words wouldn’t come out of his throat._

_The small boy looked up, and Travis almost jumped, startled. His face was completely disfigured and covered in blood. It looked like his eyes had lost any kind of emotion._

_His voice didn’t sound like Sal’s. it was deeper and made Travis tremble in fear. “...you’re just like him, aren’t you?” He asked, blood dripping all over his clothes and the floor. Travis couldn’t speak, and when he looked at his hands, they were covered in blood as well. His blood._

_“No, no...” he choked out. “I’m not..” He said as he tried to reach out for the crying boy, but every time he took a step closer to him, he felt like the distance between them was growing._

_Before he knew, the figure disappeared into the darkness._

__

__

__

__

Travis woke up feeling cold, a weird feeling of anxiety and guilt lingering in his chest. It wasn’t the first dream about Sal he had ever had, but this one had left him shaking like a leaf.

 

 

He moved his hands to his face and ran his thumbs over his eyes to calm himself down. _It was just a bad dream._

__

__

He stared up at the ceiling and rested his hand on the left side of his chest, right where his heart was. He could still feel how fast it beat, making him dizzy.

“Why are you doing this to me?” He mumbled to himself before sitting up and bringing his hands close to his face, ready for his morning prayers.

 

He knew it was going to be a long session. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

At school, Travis opened his Bible and flipped through the pages. His father had given it to him when he was just six years old, and he always brought it to school. He hummed to himself as he read a passage with a red line under it. The book was full of notes taken by Travis and some phrases were highlighted. He knew that his father would have killed him if he ever found out that he had written on it, but for some reason it was the only thing of his that he never checked.

 

 

After a few minutes he saw Sal and his crew of friends stand by their lockers. They all seemed to notice him, because they were all glaring at him. He assumed Sal was, too, but he couldn’t tell.

 

 

His heart started beating fast once again as he rested his head against a closed locker and took a deep breath.

 _You need to apologize_.

Sal hadn’t done anything to hurt him, and he had acted like a hateful dickhead. Sal did not deserve anything he had told him or done to him.

 

 _“C’mon, Sal. I’ll fight him.”_ He could hear Larry speak in the distance, and Travis tilted his head to look at the scene before him.

 

 _“Don’t. It’s okay, he’s not worth our time.”_ Sal said as he rested a reassuring hand on Larry’s forearm.

 

 

Okay, that was it. He had fucked up big time. Sal hated him.

Travis grabbed his textbooks, his Bible and shut his locker closed. The bell still hadn’t rung, so he took that as an opportunity to get the fuck out of there and go to class early.

 

 

He walked towards Mrs. Packerton’s class, and before sitting down, he noticed something on Sal’s desk. It was an envelope with Sal’s name written on it. _What could it be?_

 

 

At that point the bell rang, and he quickly grabbed the envelope, stuffing it in his backpack before anyone could see him.

 

 

For the remainder of class Travis couldn’t do anything but wonder what that envelope could be about. _Could it be a love letter? _Don’t be stupid.__

__

__

He glanced back at Sal for a moment, and he seemed oblivious. The envelope was probably something he didn’t even know existed. _Well, he isn't going to miss it, at least._

 

 

“Mr. Phelps? I think I made myself clear yesterday. You need to focus in class.” He was awakened from his sudden trance as he looked up at the teacher. “Can you tell me the answer?”

  
He sat straight in his chair and looked at the blackboard. He narrowed his eyes as he tried to understand what the hell those numbers meant, but obviously failed. He looked down at his hands.

“I... I don’t know.”

 

He could hear some of his classmates behind him giggle. They were making fun of him. _You can’t do anything right._

 

Mrs. Packerton shook her head and cleared her throat, then smiled as she averted her gaze. “Mr. Fisher?”

 

“The answer is 6.” Sal said and Mrs. Packerton gave him a wide smile.

 

“That’s correct, Sal. Why don’t you help Travis with Math, sometimes? I think he wouldn’t mind.” There was no malice in her voice, but the comment still made some people in the back of the class chuckle with grudge.

 

Sal didn’t say a word, and Travis felt kind of relieved.

 

“Okay, everyone. Be quiet and do exercise 4. If you don’t manage to finish it now, you can do it at home.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Travis sat alone at lunch, he always did. Sometimes some kids he knew from church would sit next to him, but honestly, he was better off by himself. He was glad no one had tried to talk to him that day.

 

 

Only thing keeping him company was his Bible, sitting on the table next to his tray. At least it was bologna day. His favourite day of the week, and only good thing that the school offered.

 

 

He saw Sal sit with his friends a few tables away from him. He couldn’t hear what they were talking about, but noticed that while Chug ate his bologna sandwich like there was no tomorrow, no one else was eating, and their expressions looked troubled.

How could they not like bologna?

 

 

After a few minutes he saw Larry and Sal walk towards his table and approach him. He took a bite out of his sandwich and watched as they stopped walking.

_Here, this is your opportunity to-_

__

“I thought I smelled trash.” _oh no._  “What are you flamers up to?” he mentally slapped himself as he swallowed his bite.

 

Larry glared at him. “Get bent, Travis.” He scoffed. He glared back at him, then looked at Sal.

 

“Don’t you have some sandwiches to attend to?” He asked, annoyance clear in his voice.

 

Travis grunted to himself. “You’re lucky it’s bologna Day...”

 

 

As the two boys walked away, the knot in his stomach just got tighter, and suddenly he wasn't hungry anymore. He decided to spend the time doing school work, but the cafeteria was such a noisy place, he couldn’t focus. Also, he had other stuff on his mind.

 

 

He stared down at the white sheet of paper as he nervously chewed on the end of his pencil. He couldn’t stop thinking about Sal.

 

 

It was so hard to understand him. Sal could have done so many things to get revenge. He could have reported him to the principal, but he didn’t. He could have made fun of him in front of the whole class, but he didn’t. He could have talked to his father-

 

 

 

Travis decided not to think about that. He looked up, making sure that no one was looking at him, and started writing. He had read somewhere that writing down your thoughts can help you deal with them better. He really hoped it wasn’t just a bunch of bullshit.

 

 

**_“I know we don’t really know each other and you probably have your opinions of me._ **

**_I thought maybe if I told you how I feel, things could be different._ **

 

 

Yeah, that was it. If he didn’t have the guts to apologize to Sal face to face, he could have just left a letter in his locker. _What a coward you are._

__

__

He felt dizzy as he thought about Sal reading what he was writing. But then again, Sal was a forgiving person. No matter how much people did him wrong, he was always willing to give them a second chance. Maybe, if he played his cards right, he could still have a chance.

_What the hell is wrong with you?_

 

 

**_The truth is, I can’t stop thinking about you. I’m crazy about you._ **

__

__

He took a deep breath as he wrote the words, realizing how true they were. Just thinking about Sal made him feel weird in a good way, no matter what the context was.

 

 

**_I think you’re amazing! But I know these feelings are wrong. It’s not the way a boy should feel._ **

__

__

He felt his eyes sting, and he wiped them with his sleeve. He wondered what his father would have done to him if he ever found out about this.

 

 

**_Shame swallows me whole, just writing these words. My father would kill me but I can’t live in his shadow forever. I just... I like you a lot, and I don’t know what to do.”_ **

__

__

He realized he was about to cry because of how painful it got to be able to breathe. He once again reached for his golden necklace and kept in the sob that so desperately wanted to leave his throat. He couldn’t be vulnerable in front of all those people.

 

 

He looked down at the piece of paper and drew a big X over it, then scribbled all over the last few lines. The last one was completely illegible.

 

 

He crumpled it and slipped it in his pocket, then stood and quickly walked towards the boys’ bathroom, holding back tears.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Travis grabbed the crushed letter and threw it towards the trash can, then quickly made his way into a bathroom stall, locking the door.

 

 

That’s when he let it all out.

He sat on the toilet seat and ran his hands through his hair as he sobbed.

_Why? Out of all people, why me?_

His own thoughts tormented him, and he just wanted to stop feeling like he was a big mistake.

 

 

He didn’t bother using toilet paper to dry his tears, he just used his sleeves. He flinched when he touched his still bruised eye. It throbbed and made him groan in pain. _If you were different, you wouldn't be in constant pain, all the time._

 

 

After a couple of minutes he tried to calm down, but every time he told himself that it was going to be okay, that he wasn’t a sinner, he knew he was just lying to himself.

 

 

He covered his mouth with his hand as he heard someone step into the bathroom. He waited quietly for them to leave, but after a minute or so, the person walked closer to his stall and stood still. The voice he heard made him freeze in place.

 

"Anyone in there?” _Oh, fuck no._

 

“No duh, fuckwad. Buzz off!” He grunted, a quiet sob escaping his lips.

 

“Travis?” Sal seemed surprised. “Were you just... crying a second ago?”

 

“Sally face?” Travis acted like he hadn’t realized it was him. Like he couldn’t recognize his voice out of a million. “I- no! What the hell? Can’t a guy get some privacy?”

 

There was a moment of uncomfortable silence, and Travis hoped Sal would just leave. But he didn’t. “Why do you hate me so much?”

 

Travis hesitated. He couldn’t tell him the truth. “Because you and your friends are a bunch of homos! It’s sick! It’s not right!” His own words made his heart ache, he sounded just like his father. “God will never love you! Why should I?” His hands trembled as he spoke.

 

“You know we aren’t all actually gay, right?” Sal scoffed. “I mean, besides from Todd. Todd is super gay.” he specified, and Travis furrowed his eyebrows. “But that’s part of who he is and I think that’s wonderful. He’s one of the kindest people I know. How could anyone hate Todd?”

 

Travis didn’t know what to say, so he just grunted in frustration. _Please leave._

 

Sal was quiet for a few seconds before he spoke again. “Is your father pushing these beliefs on you?”

 

Travis’s head shot up as Sal mentioned his father. He felt sick all of a sudden. “Just because my dad is a preacher doesn’t mean he owns me! I’m my own person.”

 

“Well, you seem so unhappy, man.” Sal said, and Travis looked down at his own feet in defeat. He knew he was right.

“Are you sure your dad isn’t putting too much pressure on you? I bet it’s tough being the son of such an intense man.” Sal continued, and the blond boy sighed, bringing his knees to his chest as he wrapped his arms around his legs.

 

“You have no idea what it’s like.” he murmured, and he realized then that he wasn’t crying anymore.

 

“I’m sorry, man.” Sal sounded sincere, but Travis wouldn’t buy it. He couldn’t be sorry for someone who had treated him like absolute trash, _could he?_

 

“Don’t feel sorry for me, Sally Face. I don’t need your pity.”

 

He could see from underneath the stall’s door that Sal had turned around and rested his back against the metal door. “We don’t have to be enemies, you know that, right?”

 

Travis was quiet as he looked at Sal’s feet.

 

“I think under all that anger, there’s a good dude who’s afraid to be himself.” He added as Travis sniffled. He didn’t bother hiding his misery anymore.

“If you ever need someone to talk to or if you need to get away from your dad for a while, you can hang out with me.” the blue-haired boy said, and Travis looked up to see his own blurred reflection in the not-so-shiny door. 

_What?_

 

“...why-why are you being so nice to me?” He asked, and he felt like he was going to cry again.

 

“I don’t think you’re a bad person, Travis.” There, that did it. Travis quickly wiped away the tears rolling down his cheeks with his hands and took a deep breath.

 

“You know...” He mumbled, “I don’t really hate you... or your friends...”

 

“I didn’t really think so.”

 

“I... guess- well, I’m sorry I’ve been such an asshole.” he said sincerely, his voice getting clearer. “You didn’t deserve that.”

 

“That means a lot to me, it really does.” Sal said, and Travis could tell by the change in his voice that he was smiling.

“Thank you.” He continued, “And what I said, about being here for you if you ever decide you want a friend, I meant that.”

 

Travis felt his cheeks heat up, a small smile finding its way onto his face. “Don’t push your luck, Sally Face.” He scoffed, then remembered the envelope he had found on Sal’s desk. Whatever it was, taking it had been a bitch move. He quickly took it out of his pocket and cleared his throat.

“Oh, here. I was gonna flush it down the toilet but I guess you can have it. I found it on your desk.” He said, then slid the envelope under the door.

 

Sal bent down to take it. “It’s an envelope with my name on it...” he whispered to himself. “Thanks.”

 

Travis smiled once again. “Okay, now scram so I can have my alone time. And, uh...”

 

“What?”

 

“Don’t tell anyone about this or you’re dead!” He said, but then realized that it wasn't really something you say to someone who’s trying to be your friend, and that just helped you get through a mental breakdown. “Um, I mean... just don’t tell anyone about this, okay?”

 

“I won’t.” Sal replied almost immediately, then walked out of the bathroom.

 

 

It took Travis a few minutes to process what had just happened. He still couldn’t believe Sal Fisher cared about him enough to take time out of his day to comfort him.

That didn’t help him to come to terms with his feelings, at all. The sudden warmth in his chest had left him more confused than he was before.

 

 

When he walked out of the stall he was relieved to see that no one was around, and he went to check himself in the mirror. His eyes were puffy from all the crying and he quickly splashed some cold water on his face. When he went to grab some tissues to dry off, he noticed the crumpled paper on the floor next to the trash can.

 

 

His heart skipped a beat as he snatched it off the floor and opened it to check if it was actually his letter. It was, and he quickly put it in the trash can.

_Did Sal..?_

__

__

He took a few deep breaths as he tried not to panic. _No, no he didn’t. And even if he did, he can’t be sure it was me who wrote it._

The bell rang, and he couldn't get to class late. He closed his eyes and took one final deep breath before walking out of the bathroom.

 

* * *

 

 

Travis was looking forward for the school day to end. His last class was History, and he walked towards his locker, lost in thoughts.

Sal didn’t actually hate him.

The thought made him smile slightly, and he didn’t even notice the short, blue-haired boy approaching him.

 

“Hey.” He said, and Travis jumped out of his skin, almost hitting Sal with the locker's door.

 

His eyes widened. “Shit, sorry... you scared me.” He said, embarrassment clear in his voice.

 

“I get that a lot.” Sal said, smiling from underneath his prosthetic.

 

"I didn't mean-"

 

"It's okay." Travis didn’t know what to respond to that, so he just looked down at the heavy-looking book Sal was holding. “You left this in the cafeteria earlier.”

 

A smile crossed Travis’s face. “Thanks. I was wondering where it was.”

It wasn’t true. He had completely forgotten about it. All he managed to think about was what had happened in the bathroom.

 

“No problem.” Sal said, then turned around as he walked back to his friends. Larry and Ash had a look of utter confusion on their faces as they stared back at Travis.

 

 

He hoped Sal was going to keep his promise.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof this was so fun to write. Hopefully I'll still be able to post every other day, but school is kicking my ass.  
> Kudos and comments are much appreciated! :) have a good day.


	4. Chapter 4

Travis stared down at his tray, the green slob that was supposed to be spinach didn’t look appetizing at all. He sighed and played with it, using a plastic fork. He was still mad about the fact that there wasn’t going to be any bologna day for a long while.

 

 

He looked up to see Sal and his friends sit at their usual table. Luckily they didn’t seem to notice him.

 

 

It had been a couple of months since the ‘bathroom confrontation’ with Sal, and Travis didn’t mind the lack of glares and threats from his friends- especially Larry. They were probably just ignoring him.

He wondered if Sal had told them. 

He didn't want to be seen as weak. He could already see them making fun of him for it. 

At least they didn't know he was crying over  _dudes._

 

 

Travis took a bite out of his food, careful not to touch his swollen and darkened bottom lip. His dad hadn't really liked the fact that he was failing almost half of his classes.

 

 

He couldn’t keep going this way. He needed to get back on track.

 

 

That’s why after Math class Travis walked towards Sal’s locker, determined to get this over with.

The blue-haired boy stood there, leaning against a closed locker as he read quietly. He looked up from his book as soon as Travis approached him.

 

“Hi, Travis.”

 

“Oh, hi,” Travis said with a small smile as he cleared his throat. “So, how’s it going?” _You sound like a creep. He doesn't like you._

__

“I’m all right.” Sal said as he closed his locker and stared up at the taller boy. Travis tried to act like Sal's burning gaze wasn't bothering him, but it was actually making him feel extremely self-conscious.

 

Sal easily noticed his busted lip. He casually slipped his hands in his pockets and asked, “Are you?”

 

Travis froze in place, then realized what he was talking about. “Oh, this?” he asked, pointing to his lips. “Just a scratch. It’s a funny story.” He chuckled breathlessly. _No, not funny at all._

__

“Are you sure-”

 

“Yes.” Travis said way too loudly, interrupting him. _You’re already screwing this up._ He shook his head at his own thoughts and spoke. “Um.. so, did you study for tomorrow’s test?” He asked, trying to change the subject.

 

“I was planning to revise everything in the afternoon.” The shorter boy said as he went to grab his backpack.

 

“Really?” Travis’s eyes widened, and he went quiet for a few seconds. He then took a deep breath. “You know I suck at Maths, right?”

 

Sal smiled under his prosthetic. He didn’t want to be rude but Travis did, indeed, suck at Maths. “You don’t suck. You’re just not that good.”

 

“So, basically I suck. You can say it, man.” He grumbled and Sal chuckled under his breath, his ponytails bouncing slightly at his head’s movement. _He’s so cute._

“And... you’re, uh, really good at Maths, yeah?” Travis asked, and he knew it was going to be a huge fail already. He couldn’t just ask someone to tutor their ex-bully.

 

Sal shrugged his shoulders. “I guess. I’m not as good as Todd, but I manage.” Travis really wished he could see Sal’s expression. It was hard to guess what he could be thinking just from his tone of voice. “Why?”

 

Travis hesitated, and for a moment he considered just leaving it there. It was stupid. But he needed to... he wanted to. “Could we... revise together?” He asked, his grip on his backpack’s straps tightening. “You can say no, obviously! I get it. It’s just that, um, I can’t really do this on my own and I can’t fail a test again-”

Sal interrupted him, smiling at the way he struggled to make a reasonable sentence. He was starting to realize that what he had said was true. Under all that anger, there was just an insecure and shy boy. “Sure we can.” He said with a small hum. “Come to the bus stop after school. We’ll go to my place together.”

 

Travis blinked in surprise, speechless.

 

“Or would you prefer going to  your place?” Sal asked after a moment of awkward silence.

 

Travis immediately shook his head and forced a smile. His thoughts went to his dad and how he would have reacted if he ever got to know Sal. “No, no. Your place is fine.” He said and Sal nodded, his ponytails bouncing once again.

“Thank you.”

 

Despite his low voice, Sal heard that. “See you after class.” he said before giving him a thumbs up.

 

Travis smiled back at him. For once, he smiled for real. “Later.”

 

* * *

 

 

Travis stood by the bus stop as he waited for Sal to turn up.

He nervously glanced around the noisy yard as big groups of students walked past him. After almost ten minutes, he was starting to think Sal had ditched him. He wouldn't have been surprised.

 

 

He was relieved when he saw him approach him. The short boy was rushing to get to the bus stop, his backpack half open. “Sorry, I had a test and had to stay in for an extra ten minutes.” He said, annoyance clear in his voice.

 

“That sucks.” He mumbled, feeling like all the excitement had vanished and anxiety was taking its place. Sal probably hated him and had agreed just because he was trying to be nice.

 

“The bus is here,” Sal said, but Travis wasn’t listening, just staring absentmindedly at the road. “Travis?” he called him again and the blond boy shook his head, trying to get rid of his negative thoughts.He wasn’t going to ruin it.

 

“Sorry. I’m just... sleepy,” He sighed and followed Sal onto the bus. It was full of students as always, but this time Travis knew he wasn’t going to hate the ride.

 

 

Sal sat at the back of the bus, taking his backpack off his shoulders and placing it in his lap. “Come sit here.” He said after noticing that Travis was just awkwardly standing there. “Have troubles sleeping?” He asked, associating Travis's constant numbness to his probable lack of sleep. Sal could unfortunately relate to that.

 

“Uh, nah. I just pulled an all-nighter.” Travis lied as he sat next to him. Sal nodded and shrugged it off.

 

 

After a few minutes of silence, Travis decided to speak. _Try to be friendly._ “Your friends aren’t here today.”

Sal turned his head to look at him. “Oh, Larry’s got extra classes because he’s failing Physics,” He rolled his eyes, or, well, his eye. Travis was starting to think that his right eye might have been fake. “Chug is probably somewhere with Maple and Todd’s with Neil, I suppose.”

 

Sal couldn’t help but notice how Travis shifted uncomfortably in his seat when he mentioned Todd and his boyfriend. “Oh, cool.” He mumbled as he went back to looking at his hands.

 

They spent the rest of the bus ride in silence, and Travis couldn't help but stare at the smaller boy sitting next to him. Even while sitting, Sal was shorter than him. It made him look even cuter in his eyes.

When Sal turned his head and stood, Travis quickly looked away. “This is where we get off.” the blue-haired boy announced and Travis stood as well, grabbing his backpack.

 

 

Travis stared at the big apartment building in front of him. A wave of anguish got to him, and he didn’t even know why.

 

“This place always kind of creeped me out.” He said as they approached the front door.

 

“Why?” Sal asked curiously as he looked for the keys in his coat’s pockets.

 

“I don’t know. Just a feeling.” He shrugged his shoulders. “I heard this place is weird... and creepy shit always happens here.”

 

“You’re just gonna have to find out.” Sal said, then chuckled at Travis’s worried expression. “Dude, nothing weird will happen. Well, if you stay near me.” He joked.

 

“I’m not going anywhere.” Travis assured him. A chill ran up his spine as he heard the creaky door open.

 

 

As they walked inside, Travis was starting to think it wasn’t as bad as he thought it would have been. The corridors were pretty clean, and there were even security cameras.

They silently reached the fourth floor with the elevator, and Sal was quick to open the front door, letting Travis walk inside first.

 

 

After Sal had closed the door, Travis glanced around the place. The apartment wasn’t anything special, but it felt cozy and warm, for some reason.

 

“The bathroom is over there, in case you need it. Come on,” Sal smiled and Travis nodded as he followed him into his bedroom.

Travis tried not to look interested in whatever he found there, but he actually was. Sal’s room looked much more alive and joyful than his own. He noticed every single poster and decoration, and they were  _beautiful._

 

“So,” Sal began as he sat on his bed and got rid of his coat. “what exactly didn’t you understand? I’m not the best at explaining things, but I’ll try.” He said with a small smile hiding under his prosthetic.

 

The blond scratched the back of his neck as he opened his backpack and took hold of his Maths notebook. “There’s a lot but... um... Exponential equations?” He asked and Sal scooted closer to him to look at Travis’s notebook. The gesture made the blond stiffen, but he still let him.

 

“Okay, I guess we can start from those. We can use my book.”

 

* * *

 

 

It had been almost two hours and they were focusing more on doing exercises instead of memorizing things, and Travis even felt like he had actually learned something.

 

“Are you tired of tutoring me yet?” He asked with a small smile and Sal stretched his arms out, letting out a small grunt of appreciation.

 

“No, this is useful. If you weren’t here right now I would probably distract myself with my gearboy or something.” He said, then stood. “You want anything to drink?”

 

“Water is fine.” He murmured after clearing his throat. “Thanks.”

 

 

Sal walked into the kitchen and poured himself and Travis some water. After drinking from his glass he walked back into the room and saw Gizmo walking in circles around Travis. The blond was trying to pet it, running his fingers through his fur.

 

“I see you met Gizmo.” Sal handed him the glass of water he had asked for.

 

“Yeah. I usually hate cats- but this one’s okay.” Travis admitted and furrowed his eyebrows in disappointment as Gizmo walked away from him. “Well, I take that back, by the way.” He said mockingly. 

 

Sal chuckled as he slumped down on the bed, his back hitting the mattress. Travis tried not to stare at his beautiful hair- that looked even brighter up close- as he drank his water. “Hopefully I don’t fail this one.” he said after a few minutes.

 

“You won’t fail.” Sal sat back up. “And even if you do, that only means we’ll have to work harder next time.”

 

Travis slowly turned his head to look at the shorter boy. “Next time?”

 

“Yeah. I take this as a personal challenge, now. We’ll study together until you pass Maths with decent grades.” He said excitedly and Travis could feel the familiar feeling in his chest he had encountered many times while talking to Sal.

 

“Hey, thanks. But you don’t have to...”

 

“It’s whatever, really.” Sal shrugged his shoulders and closed his notebook. “When do you have to get home?”

 

 

Travis looked away, the anxiety of getting home already hitting him. He had told his dad he was hanging out with some kid from Church, and the fact that he had lied to him only made him feel worse. “if we’re done, I’ll go now. I don’t wanna waste your time.”

“No it’s okay. I usually go to Larry’s at this time of the day, but I could tell him to come up here-”

 

Travis accidentally dropped his Maths book, the sound interrupting Sal. “Oh! Now that I think of it, it’s getting kind of late,” He announced as he started to put his stuff back in his backpack. Sal looked confused, and they remained quiet for a few moments.

 

“I didn’t tell Larry about what happened in the bathroom, by the way. I didn’t tell anyone.” His tone was soft, and it made Travis feel supported, safe. 

 

“...Yeah?”

 

“Yeah. I keep my promises.” He said with a smile. “He’s my best friend, I don’t want you guys to hate each other. Eventually, he’ll have to find out we’re okay now.”

 

“Whatever, I guess.” Travis mumbled and grabbed his backpack, while Sal stood and made his way towards the living room.

 

 

There, a blue-haired man sat on the couch, and he immediately turned his head to look at the two boys. He had a small smile on his face as he stood.

 

“Hey, champ. Haven’t seen you all day!” He exclaimed buoyantly as he stepped closer to them. Travis looked up at him, his posture stiffening. _Does he know I punched his son straight in the face?_

 

“This is Travis, dad. We studied all afternoon.” Sal mumbled as he fixed his prosthetic, that had slightly moved to the side when his dad had ruffled his hair.

 

“Ah, Travis!” He said, smile still wide. He looked puzzled for some reason. “Travis..?”

 

“Phelps, sir.” the taller boy said with a small smile of his own.

 

“Oh, that Travis."  _He knows me?_ “Your dad owns Phelps Ministry, doesn’t he?”

 

Travis’s smile dropped as Sal’s dad mentioned his father, and he looked down for a moment.

 Sal noticed that.

 

“Yeah, he does.” Travis said coldly, then cleared his throat. “Nice knowing you, Mr. Fisher.”

 

“Just call me Henry. Don’t you want to stay for dinner?”

 

“I’d like that, but my dad is strict and he wouldn’t want me to. Thank you for the offer.” He said, and Sal turned around, surprised. He didn’t know Travis could be so polite.

 

“It’s okay. You sure you’re going to be alright? It’s getting pretty dark outside.”

 

Travis looked down at his own hands uncomfortably. How could someone he had just met care so much? The fact that it was Sal’s dad made him feel even dizzier.

 

“I’ll be all right. Thank you. And thanks again, Sal.” He said as he looked at the short boy, who nodded and gave him thumbs up.

 

“See you at school tomorrow.”

 

Travis nodded and quickly walked out of the apartment. As soon as the door behind him closed, he took a deep breath, mentally preparing himself for his return home.

He walked towards the elevator, pressed the button and waited. When the doors opened, he saw a familiar face and took a step back.

 

 

Larry stood in the elevator, and when the tall brunet realized that the person standing in front of him was Travis, his eyes widened in surprise.

 

“What the hell are you doing here?”

 

 

 

 

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

Travis stood by his locker, a Theology book in hand. He had found it on one of his father’s shelves, and he was surprised he had never realized it was there. Reading something that wasn’t the Bible, for once, felt somewhat nice.

 

 

He was brought back to reality by a sudden loud, metallic noise and his locker’s door almost hitting his face as it was slammed closed.

 

“What the-” Travis glared up at the person who had dared to disturb him, and his grip on the heavy book tightened as he realized it was Larry Johnson. “What do you want?” He asked, trying not to look agitated as he closed his book and looked away.

 

“For a bully, you’re pretty good at running away like a pussy.” The long-haired boy scoffed, clearly pissed off. Travis was hoping he would have just dropped what had happened the previous day, but obviously he hadn’t.

 

“I did not run away,” Travis clarified as he opened his locker once again. “I figured I was just going to waste my time by talking to you, so... What do you want?”

 

“I want to know what your plan is.” Larry said, his thick eyebrows furrowing.

 

Travis chuckled, shaking his head lightly.“I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.” Even though he felt upset, Larry was still Sal’s best friend. He couldn’t be as rude as he would have liked to.

 

“Sure, you don’t.” He leaned against the locker next to Travis's. “Sal won’t tell me what’s going on, so you better spill the beans.”

“I don’t think that should concern-” Travis was interrupted once again by his locker being slammed closed. “Will you stop doing that?!” He grunted in frustration.

 

“Doesn’t feel so good, does it?” Larry asked, a small smirk finding its way onto his face. “I’m asking you something, and you better answer real quick.”

 

Travis clenched his hands into fists, knowing that Larry was just trying to piss him off by giving him a taste of his own medicine. “Look,” He sighed and turned around to face him. “We revised together. He invited me to his place and that’s it.”

 

“Sal wouldn’t do shit like that after everything you’ve done to him- to us.” He then added and Travis looked down for a split second.

 

“I apologized.”

 

Larry let out a fake laugh that almost made the blond cringe. “Well, I must be deaf then, ‘cause I heard none of that.”

 

“W-well, I was getting to that.” Travis retorted as he started fidgeting with his fingers.

 

“You ain’t fooling me.” Larry spat. “Sal is a good friend, but he’s way too naive and you’re taking advantage of that.”

 

 

After thinking for a few seconds, Travis raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms as he stared at Larry. “Are you jealous?”

 

“You wish.” Larry said through gritted teeth, and Travis could tell he was getting him really irritated. “You might be doing your best to get under his skin and all that, but that’s all you’ll ever get to do. He-”

 

“What are we, 7th graders?” The blond asked with a scoff. He couldn’t believe he was wasting his precious time because of something so futile.

 

“Kinda hypocritical coming from you, Phelps.”

 

“This isn’t a competition, I’m not trying to steal your best friend. I don’t see the point of this conversation.”

 

“I don’t want Sal to get hurt.” Larry said sincerely. “He’s gone through so much shit, and... he doesn’t need more pain.”

 

Travis blinked and hesitated to speak as his shoulders sagged. He truly didn’t like Larry, but the way he was willing to take shit in his own hands to protect Sal was kind of admirable. “I don’t-”

 

“Don’t lie. You know damn well that’s all you do. You hurt people just for the fun of it. You don’t care about anyone, why should I believe that you suddenly care about Sal after putting him through hell these past few years?” Larry asked, hatred in his voice.

 

Travis fell silent and there was no trace of anger left in his body. Just sadness and an empty feeling in his stomach.

 

Larry stood straight and glared at him with such disgust it made the blond look away. He knew that look way too well. “That’s what I thought.” He said, then walked away, leaving Travis alone with his thoughts.

 

 

Larry was right. Just because Sal had found him crying in the bathroom and helped him out with a test, it didn’t mean they were friends. He didn’t deserve someone as good as Sal.

 

 

He felt a heavy feeling in his chest, and the thing he wanted to do the most at the moment was never speak to Sal again.

But he knew it was impossible, he couldn’t stop thinking about him. About the way he made him feel, like every problem of his dissolved when he’d spend time with him. He felt like he was going to cry anytime soon, but he kept it in.

 

 

The bell rang, and he knew that he wasn’t going to make a good impression by getting to class late. That test could have saved him from another ass beating, he needed to do his best at least for the day.

 

 

He quickly walked to class and saw Sal stand by the door. _Please don’t turn around-_

__

“Hey, Travis.” The shorter boy called him, and Travis pressed the book tightly to his chest as he took a deep breath.

 

“Hey.” 

 

Sal wondered why he was so quiet. It was because of the test, he figured. “Don’t be nervous, I’m sure you’ll do great!” He said with his usual supportive tone. Travis liked his voice so much, he loved the way it always sounded calm and comforting and- _please stop._

__

“I hope so.” He mumbled and looked down. To his dismay, Sal didn’t stop looking at him. “Well, uh, thanks. And good luck to you as well.” Travis added and Sal smiled- he could tell by the way his eyes looked.

 

The blond sighed, walking into the classroom just a moment after Sal did. Everyone seemed nervous, and that made him feel less insecure for a minute. At least he wasn’t the only one worrying about his grades.

 

 

After maybe five minutes he stared at the sheet of paper waiting to be filled with formulas he couldn’t really understand.

When he turned around he saw Sal looking at him as he gave him a thumbs up.

That alone made Travis’s chest warm up and he smiled back, then turned around and grabbed his pen before he started writing.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The school was almost empty, and Travis remembered that he had extra P.E. classes. Just the thought of running and exercising for almost two hours in front of other people made him want to vomit. He also hated having to change in the boys' locker room. But he had to take that class, he needed P.E. credits and his dad had kind of forced him to.

Plus, it was one of the classes Sal also attended.

 

 

Usually it was fun, at the beginning of the school year Travis would laugh every time Sal failed at a game, did an exercise the wrong way and all that. Sal wasn’t the sportive type, and neither was Travis, but he wasn’t as eye catching as Sal in that class, so he took advantage of that.

 

 

After the bathroom events, Travis had tried not to make fun of him anymore. He had realized that the best part of the class was actually seeing Sal in an over-sized Sanity Falls t-shirt and a ponytail. It always kind of brightened his mood.

 

 

He quickly told the teacher that he had forgotten his P.E. stuff, and the chubby, short-haired lady just shrugged it off and told him to sit on the bench and watch the others. Another good thing about that class was that the teacher didn’t really care about the students and just let them do whatever they wanted.

 

 

Travis sat on a bench alone. Some chattering girls sat a few benches away from him, and he frowned as he tried not to hear their conversation. He hated teenagers, but he hated loud people the most.

 

 

After a good ten minutes, a crowd of students- mostly boys- walked out of the locker rooms and started chatting. He didn’t like any of his classmates. After thinking about it, they had probably pretended to be his friends just because he was a bully. _You’re so fucking stupid, Travis._

 

 

He immediately noticed Sal stand by himself. He was wearing blue shorts, a black, large shirt with short sleeves and his hair was tied up in a ponytail. _He looks cute._

 

 

During class, Travis tried his best not to look at Sal the whole time, or at least he tried not to make it obvious. He couldn’t help but notice how good he was at stretching, though. His face heated up as he shook his head. _You’re a fucking weirdo._

__

After making everyone run and do some warm-up, the teacher started explaining some nonsense about the correct way to control your body and throw a ball. Most boys were already excited, knowing that they were about to play a game.

 

 

The excitement disappeared when they realized they were going to be playing dodgeball, but it made sense considering all the teacher’s useless talking about self control and teamwork. Travis absolutely hated dodgeball. People always aimed for the face and it didn’t help with the bruises at all.

 

 

When making the teams, Sal was one of the last kids to be chosen. That made Travis feel kind of bad, but he knew that Sal probably didn’t mind. He was just... there. He didn't seem to care about what was going on around him.

 

 

He was pretty slim and agile, so it wasn’t that hard for him to dodge. Travis was impressed as he watched the match, silently rooting for Sal’s team. Five minutes in, he was one of the only kids left in the game, and his teammates cheered from the sides of the field.

Everything seemed good until Travis heard a phrase that made his blood boil with rage.

 

_"catch this, freak!"_

 

Sal didn't get to process what was happening, a red ball ball hitting him square in the face.

 

 

His teammates let out a surprised gasp as Sal stumbled back. As the ball bounced back on the floor his hands went instantly to his face.

 

 

Travis had already stood, his hands clenched into fists. What made the situation worse was that the guy who had thrown the ball hadn’t apologized, no, he was laughing and high-fiving his friends.

 

 

Sal still stood there, hands holding onto his prosthetic. He looked agitated, I mean who wouldn’t?

 

 

When he actually found the courage to get out of the field, Travis ran up to him and noticed that the prosthetic had a big crack on its right side, and his bottom straps had come undone. It looked like It wasn’t the first time Sal had been hit in the face by something, considering that the prosthetic had cracked so easily.

 

“Sal, are you okay?” He asked worriedly, a hand reaching out to comfort him.

 

Sal’s eyes widened as he took a step back. _Is he crying?_ “Travis, don’t-”

 

As he stepped back, he removed the pressure on his prosthetic, and the pieces fell on the floor with a sound that made Travis jump back.

 

 

Travis only managed to get a glimpse of what had been hidden from him all this time before he looked away and kneeled down to collect the pieces of the prosthetic.

 

When he looked back up, Sal’s hands were shaking as he tried to cover his face with them. Meanwhile, every other classmate had circled around them, wondering what was going on.

 

Before Travis could say anything, Sal pushed past him and ran towards the locker room. The blond blinked as he looked down at the cracked prosthetic in his hands, before looking up at his classmates.

 

 

The guy with pink, curly hair was still smiling. Travis furrowed his eyebrows in anger. “What the hell, fuckhead?” He called out in frustration. “Why the fuck would you do that?”

 

Another guy with short, blue hair and earrings stepped forward. His name was Phillip. Travis could tell he was a nice guy, even though they had only talked a couple of times. “Calm down, Phelps. It was an accident.” He said, trying to defend his friend.

 

“He did that shit on purpose!” Travis retorted, his grip tightening on Sal’s prosthetic.

 

The pink-haired boy just shrugged his shoulders. “I was trying to score a point, dude. It was an accident. Chill.” 

 

“That’s why you called him a freak right before hitting him in the face? Right.”

 

The guy’s smile disappeared at that point, and he just looked annoyed. Not guilty at all. That made Travis even angrier.

“Look. He’s not gonna report me anyways, he’s too much of a pussy for that.” He scoffed. “And besides... since when do you care about Sally Face, Phelps?”

 

“He’s just a person, and you’re a grown ass senior still doing this kind of shit.” Travis said, eyebrows furrowing.

 

“Why do you act like you weren’t doing the same shit just a few months ago?” The taller and bulkier guy asked and raised an eyebrow.

 

“Some people actually get more mature with time, you know? I’m sure that if you try hard enough you’ll get to that, eventually.”

 

The guy then grinned, and Travis didn’t like it one bit. “He’s your, what, boyfriend now? Made you realize how gay you actually are?” He asked and Travis heard a gasp from the people around them.

 

His hands shook in anger as he looked down. “Shut the fuck up.”

 

“Or what, you’re gonna throw Holy water at me?” The boy bent down slightly to get at Travis’s eye level.

 

Travis’s whole body trembled in rage as he looked up and took a step forward.

 

Before the pink-haired boy could react, Phillip stepped in the middle of them and pushed his friend back. “Hey, hey! Calm down for a moment, will you?” He said in an accusatory tone. He then turned to Travis. “Look. He’s really sorry. He’ll apologize as soon as possible.”

 

“But-” The taller boy interrupted him, but all he got was a glare from both Travis and Phillip. 

 

“He will, in fact, apologize to Sal later.” He continued, then looked at Travis. “If you’re Sal’s friend, I’m sure he needs you more than you need to fight him right now. Just go, man.” He said quietly and Travis blinked, slowly taking a step back as he remembered that he hadn’t even checked if Sal was alright. _Fuck._

__

__

He quickly walked into the boys’ locker room, and heard sniffling coming from one of the bathroom’s stall. With Sal’s broken prosthetic still in hand, he slowly walked towards the sound and cleared his throat.

 

“Sal?”  
The sniffling stopped for a moment, and Travis’s heart sunk in his chest. He felt so fucking bad. “Hey, don’t cry- I talked to him, he’s a fucking idiot. You just have to report him-”

 

“It’s not that.” Sal’s voice sounded different, Travis could tell he had been crying.

 

Travis was silent for a moment and he ran a hand through his hair. “Then... what is it? Did he hurt you? I swear, if he’s-”

 

“I don’t give a shit about the pain, I don’t care if he did it on purpose... does that even matter?” Sal snapped, and Travis couldn’t tell if he was seriously angry or not. He figured that he was used to it by now, but he still didn't deserve the kind of treatment he got. “I’m still gonna be the freakshow at the end of the day.”

 

“Sal, you’re not a freak.”

 

“Then why did you look away?” He asked quietly, and Travis tilted his head in confusion.

 

“What?”

 

“You looked away. You- you think I’m disgusting, don’t you?” He asked again, his voice muffled by the fabric of his shirt as he wiped his tears.

 

Travis looked down at the prosthetic in his hands, speechless. “No, Sal... It was nothing like that.”

He just wanted to tell him the truth, tell him how he felt. But he couldn’t.

 

The blue-haired boy didn't say a word at that, and Travis took a deep breath. “Even though you act like you don’t care, I know you do. It wasn’t the right moment for me to see it. I didn’t want to take advantage of the situation.” He said as he rested his back against the stall’s door. “I didn’t even see all of it. And for what I saw, I think... I think it’s pretty beautiful.”

 

He could hear Sal scoff on the opposite side of the door. “Don’t.”

 

“I know you might not believe it, but you’re a beautiful person. A better person than I’ll ever be.” Travis started, saying anything that came to his mind. At least, he could get it off his chest.

“You’re kind, sweet and understanding... and your face is just another part of yourself. You might not like it, but that’s who you are.” Travis’s heart beat fast in his chest, and he chewed on his bottom lip slightly. “And that doesn’t make you any less beautiful. The people who think it does... They just don’t know you the way your friends and I do.”

 

 

Sal was still quiet, and Travis looked down anxiously. _Was I too much?_

He was interrupted by a small giggle from the other side of the door, and he looked up.

 

“That... that was so cheesy, man...” Sal chuckled, and Travis smiled in embarrassment. “You’re gonna make me blush.” he grunted, and the blond felt like he was going to melt right there.

“I’m just gonna call my dad and tell him to come pick me up.” Sal said, and Travis nodded, then slowly slid the pieces of the prosthetic under the stall’s door.

He watched as they disappeared when Sal picked them up. “Could you get me some scotch tape? It’s in the supply closet.”

 

“Sure, I’m on it.” Before he could walk away, Sal called him one last time.

 

“Travis?”

 

“Yeah?” The blond turned around, and was slightly disappointed when Sal didn’t speak right away. _He’s probably creeped out by you right now, why can’t you ever shut up?_

 

“Thank you.” He whispered after a few seconds, and Travis smiled to himself. He said nothing, then made his way towards the supply closet.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't like this chapter at all but oh well  
> Felt like this story needed a cliché dodgeball scene cause idk 'bout you but the weirdest shit always happened in P.E. class skdjkdjsk
> 
> Kudos and comments are always appreciated!  
> have a good day :)


	6. Chapter 6

_Travis found himself kissing a pair of soft lips in a dark room he couldn't quite recognize. It was the last thing he could care about at the moment, though._

 

  
_He knew kissing felt good, but what he was feeling... good was an understatement. It felt heavenly, and he couldn't pull away._

 

  
_A pair of small hands moved up his forearms, brushing against shoulders and then the back of his head. The skin was smooth, the contact made Travis feel warm and safe. When he pulled away, he could finally see who it was._

 

  
_Sal Fisher wasn't wearing his prosthetic, and his hair wasn't tied up as usual. It was bright and those perfect, blue locks of his looked like waves in a tranquil ocean._

 

  
_His face was definitely unique._

  
_It was entirely covered in scars, that looked deeper on the right side of his face. Travis could see some exposed teeth from the part of his cheek that wasn't there, like it had been ripped off._

_There wasn't much left of his nose. It was replaced by a seemingly deep hole. A long scar went from his forehead to his chin, going through his right eye, which was more of an empty eye socket._

 

  
_But despite how gruesome his face looked, it didn't disgust Travis one bit. He just wanted to touch and feel every inch of it._

 

  
_"Travis..." The boy lying down beneath him called, and the blond felt a shiver run up his spine. "Touch me." He commanded and Travis, of course, complied._

 

  
_He left wet kisses on Sal's jaw, neck and exposed collarbone, pinning him down by the wrists. The moans that escaped his throat were like music to Travis' ears._

 

  
_How could something so wrong feel so right?_

 

  
_After what felt like a minute the blue-haired boy boy wrapped his slender legs around Travis's hips, then pushed him back. Sal climbed on him, crashing his lips against his own._

 

  
_Travis felt good, way too good for it to be real._  
_And he felt guilty, so guilty._

 

  
_The smaller boy moved against him, then bit his lip so hard Travis could taste his own blood. The liquid was sticky and made Travis shudder, feeling it against his fingertips. The blood flow was unnaturally heavy, it poured all over their clothes._

 

  
_All the pleasure had been replaced by pain, and Travis couldn't speak. He tried, but the guilt and confusion had left him out of breath._

 

 

_"I want you..." Sal whispered, his face twisting into a malicious grin that made Travis shiver in distress. Blood still pouring out of his mouth, he leaned in closer. "... to show me how much of a sinner you are."_

 

 

 

 

 

Travis suddenly woke up, quickly sitting up and glancing around the room. _Another one_.  
His heartbeat was insanely fast, his forehead sweaty, and he had to focus on his breathing to calm down.

 

  
A few days after getting a glimpse of Sal's face, he still couldn't stop having weird dreams about him. Nightmares or not, it didn't matter. Sal just wouldn't get out of his fucking head.

 

 

His eyes stung because of the tears and the lack of sleep, and he grunted in frustration.  
_Why does Sal have to make me feel this way? It's sick, it's wrong-_

 

  
"Fuck. Shit, no, no no..." He whispered to himself as he realized how hot and aroused that dream had left him. He shouldn't have been feeling that way. Sal was his friend, they were bonding so much, he...  
He still liked Sal.

 

  
He felt one second away from crying, the realization hitting him right in the stomach, but he managed to keep it in. He slowly slid back under his blanket, covering himself completely. 

 

 

"Goddamnit..." He bit his lower lip and shifted so he was on his side.  
His hand slowly reached for the hem of his shorts that he wore to sleep, and he inhaled sharply at the contact. He hadn't had some good time for himself since... well, he couldn’t even remember precisely.

 

 

His thoughts went immediately back to his dream as he tried to remember every single part of it. He tried to forget about the gruesome stuff, but he would have been lying if he said that it hadn't turned him on.

 

  
He cursed himself for being so stupid as he started working to get the release his body so desperately craved. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Travis wanted to skip school more than anything. He didn’t want to see Sal, he didn’t want to see anyone. _Everyone’s gonna see how fucked in the head you are if you keep going this way._

 

 

He surprisingly managed to get through his first classes without having a mental breakdown, and finally sat in the cafeteria by himself. He looked down at his untouched tray and set it aside, not feeling hungry at all. He sighed as he reached for his Bible with trembling hands.

_Why am I even trying at this point?_

 

 

As he read a passage, someone sat next to him. He got almost too excited at the sight of bright blue hair, but when he turned around he could see that it was just Phillip.

 

 

“I think you’re at the wrong table.” Travis mumbled as his eyes fell down on his book once again.

 

“Nah, I’m good.” The guy with short, blue hair and earrings said, and Travis rolled his eyes in annoyance.

 

“Look... I don’t know what those friends of yours set you up to, but if they wanna beat me up or something because they got reported, they should-”

 

“They’ve got nothing to do with this.” Phillip said quietly. “I think you did the right thing, you know... Standing up for Sal and everything. No one really expected it from you.”

 

Travis finally turned his head to look at him, still not trusting his words completely. “And you’re sitting here because..?”

 

Phillip glanced at the table he would usually sit at, then sighed. “They are kind of pissed at me for helping Sal out with the report, since I was a witness,” He took a bite out of his sandwich. “And last time I checked, I could sit wherever I wanted.”

 

Travis raised an eyebrow and scoffed, still pretending to be uninterested. “You expect a ‘thank you’ or something?”

 

“I see you still have some bitchiness left in you.” He said with a small smile.

 

Travis closed his book and straightened his posture. “I’m serious now. Why are you sitting here?”

 

“There’s no reason, duh. You look into things too much.” Phillip said and shrugged his shoulders. He then looked over at the table where Sal, Larry and their friends were sitting. “If you and Sal are close why don’t you sit with him?”

 

 

Travis got visibly agitated when Phillip mentioned Sal. His grip on the heavy book tightened as he looked down at his hands, then up at Phillip, then back down at his hands. “We’re not close, okay? We’re- we’re acquaintances.”

 

“Acquaintances?” Phillip asked with a bit of irony in his voice.

 

Travis ran a hand over his face, trying to hide any emotions. “Mind your own damn business.”

 

When he looked up, Phillip’s lips were curled up in a knowing smile. “I see.”

 

“What do you see, smartass?” Travis asked with a grunt. _Why did you ask? He can probably smell the queer on you._

__

“It doesn’t matter.” He replied and Travis felt so vulnerable, his face heated up and he crossed his arms over his chest.

 

“Just leave me the hell alone.”

 

 

Phillip nodded and kept eating in silence. He seemed to enjoy his lunch while Travis was just waiting for it to be over as he went back to reading, even though he couldn’t really focus on the words he read.

 

 

After a few minutes, Phillip swallowed his last bite and stood with his tray in hand. “Nice talking to you, Travis.” He said with a genuine smile that made the blond’s insides twist, and he said nothing.

 

 

And, just like that, Travis was by himself once again. He sighed in frustration and rested his elbows on the table as he ran his fingers through his hair.

 

_What did he mean? Am I that easy to read? He couldn’t possibly see that I like-_

 

 

“Travis?” A way too familiar voice made the blond look up, and he froze in his seat as he saw Sal standing next to him with an empty tray in hand. “You okay over there?”

 

Travis looked down at his hands and took a deep breath. _It’s okay, don’t mess this up. Just walk away._ “Yeah.” He mumbled and tried to regain his composure.

 

But Sal didn’t walk away, he just stared at him. Travis, once again, wished that he could have seen his expression. “You’ve been acting strangely these past few days.” He said and Travis looked away, trying to distract himself by putting his stuff into his backpack.

 

“Everything’s all right.” He struggled to close his backpack, his fingers trembling with agitation. _Stop blaming him. It’s not his fault you’re a faggot._

 

“Are you sure?” Sal asked, instinctively placing a comforting hand on Travis’s shoulder.

 

 

The delicate touch made Travis feel butterflies in his stomach, and his eyes widened in surprise. _No, no no this is wrong, you have to stop it._

 

 

Before he could think, he grabbed Sal’s wrist and pushed him back just slightly. “Don’t touch me.”

 

Sal pulled his hand back in confusion. It hadn’t hurt, but it had definitely surprised him. “Travis..?”

 

Travis had never seen Sal’s eyes scrunch up like that before. The butterflies in his stomach turned into stinging bees as he looked away. _Stupid, stupid, stupid. You can’t do anything right._

 

“Just... just leave me alone, for fuck’s sake.”

 

“Whatever it is that’s bothering you, we can talk about it.” Sal said, and that only made Travis more irritated. _Why is he still trying to be nice?_

 

“No, no we can’t.” The blond said, anger building up in his body. He quickly turned around, not wanting to hurt Sal. He wouldn’t have been able to forgive himself if he did. “I’m not your friend. I’m not like you. Just... just don’t talk to me.” He murmured, then grabbed his stuff and left the cafeteria.

 

 

He made his way to the boys’ bathroom, closing the stall’s door behind him as he tried to control his breathing. When the tears he had been keeping in for the last few days finally rolled down his cheeks, he sat on the toilet seat and sobbed quietly.

 

But this time no one walked in.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

It took him a few days to think about what he had done. He thought that not talking to Sal would have made him feel better, but it didn’t.

 

 

He knew Sal wasn’t a toy he could put away every time he didn’t feel like playing anymore,

and the fact that he had just done that made him feel even worse. 

 

 

He couldn’t keep going this way. He was just going to tell him. _I like you and that’s why I treat you like trash all the time. That’s gonna solve all your problems for sure, dumbass._

 

 

He stared at his reflection in the familiar mirror in the boys’ bathroom. He noticed a new bruise forming on the side of his neck, and he tried to cover it with his shirt’s collar.

 

 

When the bathroom’s door swung open he didn’t pay attention to whoever had walked in, but when he looked up, it wasn’t hard to notice the bright blue hair and the mask that always haunted his dreams.

 

 

His heart skipped a beat as he looked away. Sal seemed to notice him as well, because he just stood still for a few seconds before making his way towards the door to leave.

 

 

 _Don’t let him get away!_ “Sal?” He called out, and the blue-haired boy stopped in his tracks. He said nothing and Travis swallowed thickly as he took a step closer to him. “Can we... can we talk?”

 

Sal didn’t seem amused. “I’m kind of busy at the moment. I have to go get lunch.” he said and Travis looked down at his feet.

 

 _He hates you._ “It’s... it’s just gonna take a moment,” he said quietly. “Please.”

 

Sal considered him and nodded, not moving a inch from his initial position as he listened.

  
Travis took a deep breath and looked down at him. "I didn’t mean to snap at you the other day."

 

The shorter boy’s expression didn’t change, and Travis inhaled sharply. “It’s okay if you don’t want anything to do with me. I... I don’t know what got to me. I’m sorry.”

 

  
Sal’s body seemed to relax at that point, his shoulders sagged and he looked up at the anxious boy standing before him. "It's okay. It left me more confused than anything." 

  
  
Travis breathed in relief, still not feeling completely fine, but at least he felt a little less guilty. "I don't deserve to be your friend.” He murmured. “It's better if you stay away from me." 

Sal tilted his head and took a step closer to him. "But I don't want to stay away from you. I want to help you." 

  
  
The blond looked away, his hands nervously trying to find something to hold on. "You can't... I don't want you to get involved in my bullshit." 

 

  
Sal stared at him closely, his gaze falling on his forming bruise as his eyebrows furrowed. "It's never too late to ask for help.” He said and Travis chewed on his lip lightly. “Is this about your dad?" 

  
  
Travis looked at him, his palms sweaty and heartbeat fast. "No."

  
  
Sal didn’t look convinced at all. "If your dad is hurting you in any way it's child abuse, Travis... it's a crime and you don't have to keep it to yourself." 

  
  
Travis looked away, feeling like he could break down at any moment. _What’s the point of hiding it anymore?_  "It's not his fault... He does his best to discipline me."

  
  
Sal’s eyes widened at his words. "When did it all start?" 

  
  
_You can do this._  "it's just... it's always been like this. That's just how he is.” He said, still not believing that he was actually talking to someone about it after all that time.

  
  
"Always?" Sal asked with a tone that made Travis’s insides twist. _He’s worried about me._ "Do you think he has a reason? Even though it doesn't justify his actions, there might be something behind it."

  
  
"It's just... how he is. He was like that with my mother as well.” He remembered the day his mother had left like it was yesterday. “When she left... things just got worse, especially after..." he paused and bit his lip. _You can’t tell him that._

  
  
"After what?" 

  
  
Travis looked down at his hands, then clenched his hands into fists and shook his head. "No one knows about this." 

  
  
"You've seen my face. You owe me a secret."

  
  
_Not all of it_ , he thought, but he knew it wasn't the right time to talk about that. A few seconds passed before he spoke. "Promise... promise me you won't tell anyone,” He pleaded. “Not even Larry. No one." 

  
  
Sal nodded, his ponytails bouncing slightly as he did. “I promise."

 

 

Travis focused on his reflection as he started talking. "When I was in elementary school I had a best friend. He was great. I felt good when I was with him.” He murmured, still afraid of someone walking in. “When the teacher told my dad that our behaviour was making the other kids uncomfortable, my dad... forced me to go to a private Christian school. He couldn't have his son ruin his reputation like that." 

  
Sal looked down at his feet as he listened.

 

"If he didn’t hate me before that, he started hating me then. I still can't do or say anything without him overanalyzing everything and reminding me how much of a sinner I am.” His hands were shaking at that point, and he placed them on the sink as he struggled to look at Sal.

  
Something seemed to click in Sal’s brain as he looked up at him with pity in his eyes. "Travis..."  _Oh no._ "Are you..."

  
"Don't say that.” Travis’s hands went up as he ran his fingers through his hair, trying to hide his face in shame. “Don't fucking say that." His voice cracked as he looked away, not wanting Sal to see him like that.

  
Sal took a step closer to him, reaching out for him as he grabbed his hands. "Travis." 

  
He flinched at the touch, but didn’t pull away. "I'm not...” He sobbed, trying his best not to freak out. _He knows now, you fucking moron. You can’t do anything right._ “I’m not...”

 

 

His heart skipped a beat as he felt Sal wrap his arms around him and pull him close. Travis blinked in confusion, his chest feeling warm. He hadn’t been hugged in years. _This is bad, really bad._

 

Before he could think, he wrapped his own arms around the smaller boy and closed his eyes.

 

For a minute, he forgot about his dad, about his internal conflict, everything. He could only focus on how good it felt to hold Sal in his arms.

 

When Sal pulled away, Travis took a step back and wiped his tears with his sleeve, looking away.

  
"I'm sorry your dad doesn't accept you for who you are.” Travis looked down at him, his eyelids heavy. “Don't be mad at yourself because of something you can't control." 

 

“It doesn’t matter... I’m still a sinner and God will never love me.”

 

Sal hesitated. He didn't know much about religion, not being a religious person himself, but he found the whole situation simply absurd. “Why would God hate you if he made you this way?” 

 

Travis shook his head as a way to distract himself. He didn’t want to cry anymore. “I was not just born like this. My father says...”

 

“Fuck your father, Travis," Sal scoffed. “I’m sure that you’ve prayed for it to go away, and you’re still yourself. You can’t control who you’re attracted to.”

 

 

Travis looked away as he thought. Of course he had prayed for it to go away, but it hadn't worked, obviously. His father had only told him that he wasn't praying hard enough.

 

“If God hates you because of something you can’t control... is it really a God worth worshipping?” Sal asked and Travis chewed on his lip nervously.

 

“I... I can’t just drop everything I believe in.” He said in a whisper. _If only father could hear._

 

“You actually can, if you feel like it’s the right thing to do.”

 

“You don’t know what it’s like.”

 

Sal raised an eyebrow. “Travis, I’m bisexual myself. I think I know what it’s like.”

 

 

Travis widened his eyes as he almost choked on thin air. _He likes boys too?_

He tried to shake the thought off as he crossed his arms. _This is not the right time._  “You don’t know what my dad is like. If he knew... oh God, if he knew...”

 

Sal once again placed a hand on his arm softly. “Calm down.”

 

Travis nodded and took a step back as he ran a hand through his own hair roughly. “I don’t even know what I believe in anymore. I’m just... so confused...”

 

“It’s okay to be confused.” Sal said, and Travis could tell that he was smiling. “Religion isn’t supposed to make you feel trapped, Travis. If your beliefs make you feel like you shouldn’t exist, then maybe you should reconsider them.” 

 

Travis looked up at his own reflection in the mirror and took a deep breath.

 

“It’s up to you to decide,” Sal continued, “It won’t be easy, but one day you’ll be happy and accept who you truly are.”

Travis turned his head to look at him. He was so thankful he had someone to talk to, for once.

 

“You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me, you know that, Sal?” The words left his mouth before he could think, and he quickly looked away in embarrassment.

 

Sal’s lips curled up in a smile as he looked down. “I’m glad.” He mumbled, then quickly turned his head at the sound of the bathroom’s door opening. Travis cleared his throat as he grabbed his backpack and tried not to be noticed by the guy who had just walked in.

 

 

Sal walked out of the bathroom first, then waited for Travis outside. “Do you wanna sit with us at lunch today?” He asked, and the blond looked down for a moment before nodding.

 

 

He couldn’t help but smile as he walked towards the cafeteria with Sal by his side.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly your comments always warm up my heart like!! I’m so glad some of you are liking this so far.  
> I gave Phillip (If you don’t know who he is you can see him in the cafeteria in episode 3) some dialogue in this story because even though he’s a background character he seems cool as hell.  
> I’m kinda proud of this chapter so hopefully you like it as well. 
> 
> Thanks for reading and have a great day!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heck, I haven't updated in forever. I was abroad for an internship and when I came back I didn't even have time to breathe, let alone write. I hope this chapter isn't too boring, but if it is hopefully you'll understand. :)

Travis felt incredibly tall as he stood next to Sal, both holding an empty tray as they waited for the woman behind the counter to give them food.

 

 

The situation Travis found himself in was awkward, but Sal didn’t seem to notice how nervous the blond looked.

When Travis had accepted to have lunch with him he hadn’t considered the fact that Sal’s friends were going to sit with them, too. And now the thought was making his insides twist with concern.

 

 

“You, uh, should have lunch with your friends. I like sitting alone anyways.” Travis said quietly as he watched Kim place some low-quality sandwiches on their trays.

 

“You can sit with us.” Sal reminded him as he looked down at his lunch and frowned under his prosthetic, quickly losing his appetite. “There’s enough room for another person.”

 

 

Travis swallowed thickly, like he was trying to push down the lump in his throat. “That’s not really the problem.” He glanced at the back of the cafeteria, where Sal’s friends were sitting. “Look... I know they hate me. You don’t have to force things.”

 

“They don’t hate you.” Sal retorted. Maybe hate was a strong word...

No, thinking about it, they definitely hated him. Especially Larry and Ash. Even if they had made up at that point, Sal was grateful he had such protective friends. “They  _just_  don’t like you.”

 

“I don’t blame them.” Travis scoffed and looked directly into the holes of Sal’s prosthetic, making eye contact with him. It felt weird to be this close to the infamous Sally Face for so long, he could even notice the different dilation of his pupils and the small, barely visible scratches on his prosthetic. “I’ve been nothing but an asshole to all of you.”

 

The shorter boy nodded a bit. He wasn’t going to lie, for sure. “Yeah. But we’ve all done stuff we want to be forgiven for. They’ll understand.”

 

Travis’s fingers gripped onto his tray tightly as he took a deep breath. Confronting people had always been a hard task for him, but now it felt even harder, since it was Sal’s friends they were talking about.

“I... Okay. You’re right.” he mumbled under his breath and looked up.

 

 

Sal nodded, turning around as he started walking, and Travis felt like a defenseless puppy as he followed him.

 

 

The numbness in his legs made him feel like he wasn’t actually walking, and he realized that they had gotten to their destination when Sal stopped in his tracks and placed his tray on the table.

 

 

Unsurprisingly, Travis was greeted by a few irritated and mostly confused stares. He had been confident he was going to apologize without making a fool out of himself, but at the moment the words were stuck in his throat and his chest felt heavy.

 

 

“Hey, guys.” Sal said said as he sat down. He immediately sensed the tension and cleared his throat. “Fuck, Physics really destroyed me today.” He said, trying to start a conversation.

 

 

It didn’t work. Larry’s eyebrows furrowed as Travis slowly sat next to Sal, so he was facing him and Ash, sitting on the other side of the table.

 

 

The blond looked down as he fidgeted with his plastic fork, unable to say a word. He didn’t feel intimidated, he just felt really out of place. And he knew that Sal was waiting for him to say something, but he couldn’t.    _What do I say?_

 

 

Ash really wasn't that bad. If she weren't Sal's friend, Travis probably wouldn't have even acknowledged her existence. Or called her a bitch multiple times, for what matters. All he knew was that she was passionate about what she did, and had a pretty open mind. That was probably why she became friends with Sal so easily in the first place.  
Maybe that was also why Sal looked so happy and flustered when he was around her.  
  
  
Everyone started eating their lunch silently, and Sal looked kind of disappointed. Travis really didn’t know what he was expecting from someone like him.

 

 

He looked up to see Larry basically eating half of his sandwich with only one bite, his expression still hard. Travis understood why he was upset. He didn't blame him at all.

 

 

The boy didn’t know how to feel about Larry. All he knew was that he didn’t like him. The reason? It might have been because of his loud personality and his unholy music taste, because he had a criminal record, because he was always ready to defend Sal, even if that meant beating people up...

But he had never actually had a proper conversation with him. He didn’t know what he was like. If he had to be honest, he wanted to know.

 

The thought made him shake his head as he looked over at Maple and Chug. He didn’t mind being around Maple, she was a quiet person, always minding her own business. Chug, on the other hand, was a pretty outgoing guy. Travis remembered making fun of him because of his weight when he was a freshman. He had been so immature, the realization made him want to slap himself.

 

 

He finally glanced at Todd as he bit into his sandwich. God, he hated Todd.

He thought it was because he was so self-centered and always acted like he knew better than everyone else, but deep down he knew it wasn't true. What he felt was jealousy. 

  
Todd was basically everything Travis wasn't: A brilliant student, a good friend and a generous person, always willing to help whoever was in need.

Everyone knew how supporting his parents were, especially when it came to his sexuality. He even had a boyfriend and acted like it was something  _normal_. Like it wasn't a  _sin_.

  
Then again, Todd didn't look like the religious type. That was also a reason why Travis had decided to stay away from him.   
But in the end, Travis knew that he wished he could have been like Todd, even just a little bit. 

 

  
"Travis?" Sal's voice made his head shoot up and he looked at the smaller boy sitting next to him. 

  
"What?" Travis’s voice was hoarse and he cleared his throat after swallowing his bite, looking around the table.

  
The hard stares were still there, but there was also something else in everyone's eyes. It looked like pity.   
It made Travis feel nauseous and he realized that he had probably zoned out for a few minutes. 

 

“I forgot to tell Kim I wanted regular milk. Could you get me some?” Sal asked and Travis slowly nodded, then stood and made his way towards the weird-looking lady behind the counter.

 

 

As soon as he walked away, everyone looked up and waited for an explanation.

 

When Sal said nothing, Larry spoke up. "What's he doing here?"

 

The blue-haired boy looked up and sighed. "Look, I know you guys don't like him, but you should give him a chance."

  
  
There was a moment of silence as everyone sitting a the table furrowed their eyebrows. "We don't like him? Did you forget what he did to you?" Larry asked incredulously.

  
  
"Larry’s right, you know." Ash said as she lifted her piece of bread to see what was inside the sandwich. She grimaced but took a bite anyways. 

  
"I can't hold a grudge forever.” Sal said quietly, “He apologized, alright?"

 

"It's just one of his ways to get under your skin." Larry scoffed and Ash nodded in agreement, while Todd just sipped on his milk quietly.

 

Sal wondered what Todd was thinking as he started to unclasp the bottom straps of his prosthetic. "I can't know that, and neither can you."

  
He watched as Chug shook his head and almost choked on the last piece of his sandwich. "He called me fat once. It really hurt my feelings." he scoffed, but a small smile found its way on his lips as Maple rested a comforting hand on his shoulder, whispering something that made him giggle. 

  
Larry raised an eyebrow and nodded. "He's done shit to hurt all of us, especially you and Todd. Did you really forget all that?"

  
Sal looked at Todd and remembered all the times Travis had degraded him for being gay, for having a boyfriend, and stuff like that. Sal had hated him for it, but after finding out that Travis was probably gay himself, he felt different. It all made sense, even though it didn’t justify his actions. Travis was probably mad at Todd for being able to do something he couldn’t do: be himself. 

  
"No, I didn't." The blue-haired boy said and looked at Larry. "Do you remember when you killed Mrs. Gibson’s rabbit? It's been years and she's still mad at you, even though you’ve paid for it. How does that make you feel?" 

  
Larry almost looked offended and he hesitated to speak. "You can't compare a rab-"

  
"He's coming. Be nice, he’s trying to be better. Do it for me, not him." Sal interrupted him and from the look in his eyes everyone could tell that he was serious.

 

 

Larry grunted and shared the same look of discomfort as Ash, but they both nodded slowly and went back to eating their lunch.

 

 

When Travis got back, Sal looked up at him and tilted his head. He was fiddling with the small carton of milk in his hands, and he looked nervous.  

 

Before Sal could ask if everything was all right, he spoke up.

  
"I wanted to apologize.” He announced and everyone looked up at him. Their surprised looks made him feel like they weren’t expecting this, and maybe he had a chance.  “To all of you, not just Sal.” he swallowed thickly and looked at Sal, who gave him a small nod, like he was encouraging him.

  
”I really am sorry..” The blond said, but the teenagers’ expressions didn’t change. So he continued.

“...For all the things I've said and done. I was- maybe I still am, a hateful person, but I'm trying to change,” He paused for a moment, but he knew that there was no going back. “You don’t have to respect me or act like what I did never happened, but from now on I will respect you. I hope that one day you will forgive me.”

 

Sal looked satisfied. He really wasn’t expecting something like that, but he was starting to realize that Travis was a boy full of surprises.

He looked back at his friends, who seemed to be thinking. Ash’s expression was still the same, while Larry looked more conflicted than anything. Even Todd looked like he was at a loss of words, which was weird.

 

  
Travis slowly set the small carton of milk on Sal’s tray and swallowed. ”Sorry, I won't bother you anymore." he murmured in defeat, but just when he was about to turn around and leave, Todd sighed and caught his attention.   
  
"Even though I didn't appreciate your homophobic behaviour towards my friends and I, I can see you're sorry. It is none of my business whether you really are or not.” The redhead said, and everyone turned their heads to look at him. Sal and Travis looked hopeful while Larry and Ash just stared at him incredulously.  
  
”I just feel like even the worst people deserve some kind of redemption,” He said and looked up at Travis, who still stood there silently. “So, I accept your apology."   
  
  
Chug nodded as he listened, even though he still wasn’t looking at Travis directly. “I forgive ya. ‘Cause you were right, I’m fat. But I’m still super cool. And cool people don’t hold a grudge.” he said with a shrug of his shoulders, and Maple seemed to agree with him.

 

Travis looked at the green-haired boy as he tried to process his words. “I didn’t mean that. I was stupid.”

 

“It’s fine.”

 

Larry and Ash still looked reluctant, but they both sighed as they met Sal’s hopeful gaze. Larry scratched the back of his neck and looked up.

"All right. Even though we won't forget what you did, you're forgiven."  
  
  
Travis didn’t know how to react. It was a big improvement, but he felt kind of uncomfortable. He knew that it was going to take some time to get used to the situation, but as long as Sal didn’t hate him, it still felt pretty all right.   
”...Really?” He asked, still unsure.

 

"I know that forgiveness is important for you hardcore Christians. Wouldn’t want to torture your soul too much."   
  
Travis smiled a bit but tried to hide it. That was probably the nicest thing Larry had told him, even though that wasn’t the reason why he had apologized. "Thank you." he said and glanced down at Sal, who gave him a thumbs up.  
  
"What are you doing standing there like an idiot? Sit down." Larry grunted and Travis raised an eyebrow. He knew that under different circumstances he probably wouldn’t have done it. But Sal was watching and the tension was still in the air, so he sat down without protesting.

 

 

Travis ate his sandwich quietly and Sal did the same. He tried his best not to turn around and glance at Sal’s mouth, barely visible as he ate. Sal didn’t say anything, but he was actually glad Travis wasn’t making him feel uncomfortable with all the staring he usually got.

 

 

“So, like...” Larry started and Travis looked up without moving. “Do you know why they’re not serving bologna anymore?”

 

 

Sal’s eyes widened as he met Larry’s gaze. Was he going to tell Travis what they had found out? He couldn’t even imagine how Travis could react to... _that_. He probably wouldn’t believe him anyways.

 

 

The blond blinked at the question and frowned. “Not really.”

 

“Must suck. You seemed to love that shit.” Larry scoffed. His expression still held a bit of seriousness, but he seemed amused for some reason. 

  
  
”It wasn’t that bad.” Larry’s face scrunched up in disgust at that. Ash seemed uncomfortable as well, but she could hide it better.

 

“Travis is right. It wasn’t bad at all.” Chug said and Sal opened his mouth to speak, but then cut himself off. He remembered that they had decided not to tell Chug and Maple about the bologna incident, not wanting to traumatize the poor kid. He knew better than letting anything slip out.

 

Travis thought it was a good moment to start a conversation. “Like, you know when you eat something and it reminds you of your childhood? It’s kinda like that.”

 

“Your childhood must have been pretty shit.” Larry said, then raised an eyebrow. “Wait... so it really didn’t taste bad to you?”

 

Travis shook his head and Larry glanced at Sal, who was clearly trying not to jump into conclusions.

They had always wanted to know more about the Phelps family, and since Travis was trying so hard not to be an asshole at the moment, it was a good opportunity to ask questions.

 

 

Sal seemed to get Larry’s intentions by the look in his eyes and immediately shook his head, glaring at him. He didn’t want Travis to find out about the cult, not even by chance. But Larry wasn’t having it.

 

 

“So like, since we’re cool and stuff now, tell us about you. No one knows where you live or what you do. You’re like a  _clandestino_  or some shit.” Larry said and rested his elbows on the table. “You got that?”

 

“Yeah. I speak Spanish, actually.” Travis mumbled and the brunet tilted his head, not trying to hide his amused smirk. “I live near the ministry. I thought people knew.”

 

“The ministry?” Larry asked. “Huh. Right. Your dad owns that place.”

 

Travis tried to maintain his composure as Larry mentioned his father. He felt like he couldn’t have a conversation with anyone without that man popping up. He truly was destined to live in his shadow forever. “Yeah.”

 

“So, what does he do? Like, read the Bible out loud all day or what?”

 

The blond looked down and bit his lip, shaking his head lightly.

Larry and Ash stared at each other, clearly uncomfortable. They obviously weren’t used to being around such a vulnerable Travis.

 

Sal noticed the sudden tension and adjusted the collar of his shirt, clearing his throat. “So, do you guys wanna hang out later? You could come to my place so we can finish that movie.”

 

“That trashy sci-fi movie?” Larry asked and grunted dramatically.

 

Sal scoffed at him playfully. “You’re never happy with anything.”

 

“Yeah, uh, I was falling asleep and we weren’t even halfway through.”

 

Sal rolled his real eye and crossed his arms. “Then you pick a movie, smartass.”

 

“Now we’re talking.” The brunet hummed and gave Sal a smug smile.

 

“You could ask Neil if he wants to come. The more, the merrier.” Sal suggested and looked at Todd, who simply nodded.

 

 

Everyone seemed excited, while Travis stayed quiet, still staring at his empty tray. He looked up when Sal tugged on his sleeve gently. “You’re invited, too.” he said and smiled under his prosthetic.

 

 

“Oh, um. Sorry.” Travis mumbled under his breath and looked down at Sal’s hand- that was still holding onto his shirt. He tried not to think about it too much as he focused on his face, or well, his prosthetic. “What are you talking about..?”

 

Sal let go of his arm. “We’re all watching a movie tonight, at my place. You should come too.”

He wanted to tell Travis that staying away from his dad might have been good for him, but he couldn’t talk about it in front of his friends.

He always told them everything, but he knew that Travis trusted him, and he wasn’t going to betray him like that. He felt kind of special, because he knew that he was probably the only person Travis had ever opened up to.

He still wondered why, though.

 

Travis looked away and thought. He really wanted to hang out with Sal. It might have been an opportunity to get to know him better, but in order to do that he would have needed to lie to his father. The thought made him shiver with anxiety and he shook his head.

 

“I wish I could, but I.. have an important assignment due tomorrow, so...” He lied and it made his chest ache, because there was nothing he wanted more than spend more time with Sal, and maybe his friends, too.

 

 

Sal seemed to understand, though. He always did. “Fine, but one day you’ll have to bear with Larry’s bad movie tastes, too.”

 

“I heard that!” Larry scoffed and both Sal and Travis chuckled. “You like those diabetes-inducing romance movies, you’re in no place to talk.”

 

Ash laughed and clasped a hand over her mouth as Sal gasped loudly. “I don’t like them- I just know how to appreciate a good movie even if there’s no blood in it!”

 

“You totally like them, Sal.” Ash teased him and the blue-haired boy just seemed to get more flustered, crossing his arms over his chest.

 

 

It still felt surreal, to sit at the same table as Sal, laughing with him and his friends.

Travis felt good. he didn’t want it to end.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, comments and kudos are much appreciated!  
> Have a nice day.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven’t updated in almost three months, wow. I have school as an excuse, BUT this wasn’t supposed to come out so late.  
> After a break I started thinking about this story and how I wanted it to go, and changed the plot completely. I now have all the chapters thought out and even an appropriate ending. I’m sorry it took so long, but I hope some of you are still interested in this story, ‘cause I’m determined to finish this.  
> Anyways, I hope you like this and have a good day as always.

As the days and weeks passed, Travis started to realize how lucky he had been. He was so glad that Sal had walked into that bathroom that day. He thought about it constantly.

 

 

If he hated going to school before, now he didn’t mind it that much anymore. He looked forward to it every day, actually. His grades didn’t suck as much now that he had come to the conclusion that it was worth trying.

 

 

Hell, even Sal’s friends looked like they had finally accepted him in their group, and the tension between them had almost completely vanished.

 

 

Obviously, he took it slow at first. When they sat together at lunch he remained silent most of the time, getting lost in his own thoughts as the teenagers’ conversations became background noise.

 

When they hung out, he always gave them their space, mostly by making up excuses and staying home.

 

But he appreciated the fact everyone seemed accepting of him, despite everything. They always tried to make him feel comfortable, no matter the situation.

They never called him out when he would fall asleep in class, show up with a new bruise, or get angry for no reason.

 

 

He didn’t really consider them close friends, but they were something. Something that made him happy.

 

 

And then there was Sal.

 

Travis had started to notice every little thing about him.

He noticed how Sal snorted every time he laughed genuinely. He noticed how his fingers twitched and his left foot bounced when they talked, it was like he couldn’t just stay still.

 

He noticed that Sal listened to pretty much anything, but metal music got him dancing and headbanging like a mad man. He couldn’t say he liked that type of music, but since Sal loved it so much, he knew he could have never hated it.

 

Those painted nails Travis used to hate once, now looked incredibly appealing. Sal always had them black or blue, but sometimes he’d go crazy and get bright, cheerful colors.

 

He noticed how Sal never grew roots, and how soft his hair was. Travis, having his hair bleached for years, knew how hard it was to make it look decent at all times. But Sal’s didn’t look like it was dyed at all. When he got to know that blue was actually his natural hair color, he was sure it had become his favorite at that point.

 

 

Even though Sal didn’t want to be seen as delicate, when Travis thought about him all he associated him with was the figure of an angel.

 

After all, angels are supposed to be good and watch over you, right? Travis didn’t know much about him, but he knew that Sal had made his life better, for sure.

 

 

Every time Sal would touch his hands, or arms, or brush his fingers against his skin in any way, he shivered.

Sal was so cold, it was just the aura around him that thrilled Travis so much. He wanted to feel cold.

 

 

With every day passing, he knew he was falling for Sal more and more. He couldn’t help it. And honestly, he was tired of trying.

 

He prayed every night, holding onto his cross necklace and reciting the same prayers over and over again. He prayed for the sinful thoughts to go away and for his dad to never find out until he was too exhausted to keep his eyes open.

He wanted to stop feeling guilty for something he couldn’t control.

 

 

 

When he was with Sal, he felt happy. How could that be wrong?

 

He liked his hair, his beautiful blue eyes, even though one was fake. He liked how his ears got red every time he got flustered, he liked his small figure- he liked everything about him.

 

He admired him for being such a caring and forgiving person after dealing with all his childhood trauma, and Travis didn’t even know half of it.

 

 

He liked Sal Fisher, and at that point he knew that by denying it he was just going to lie to himself.

 

 

His bruises didn’t hurt as much when he had other stuff to think about. And his new friends were helping him through it without even knowing it.

 

And of course, he appreciated that. But he knew that Sal was the only person he was ever going to open up to. He didn’t know how to explain it, but he felt like the little dude could understand him, no matter what.

 

 

And without Travis realizing, the blue-haired boy started noticing that, too. He noticed how Travis looked more relaxed when he was around him, like he was free of any tension. He felt happy knowing that Travis trusted him despite everything.

 

 

He also noticed how Travis looked at him when he thought he wasn’t paying attention. It was pretty easy to look distracted with a prosthetic covering your face and emotions. Sometimes he was glad he had it, because he found himself getting flustered under the blond’s intense gaze more than he would have liked to admit.

 

Sal would often reach out and hold his hands, or whenever he went to comfort him, wrap his arms around him and hold him close to his chest. It started to happen often, but the boys didn’t talk about that. It felt nice, when he subconsciously leaned into his touch because he liked his hair being played with.

 

 

But Sal wasn’t stupid, and he wasn’t innocent, either. At that point he knew the note he had found in the bathroom was for him- or at least, he hoped so. He knew it was Travis who had written it, but they had never talked about who it was for, and Sal was too afraid to ask. He didn’t want to mess things up.

 

Travis was doing so good, what if he didn’t take it well and stopped talking to Sal altogether?

 

Sal didn’t want that.

 

So he decided to wait.

 

 

And just like that they started hanging out after school when the rest of the gang wasn’t around. They both enjoyed each other’s company, and Sal knew that Travis just needed someone to talk to, nothing more.

 

 

Sometimes they’d just sit in the back of Addison apartments and enjoy the comfortable silence until Travis announced that it was getting late and he needed to get back home;

 

While sometimes they’d walk inside and sit in Sal’s room, watching television or playing video games until Travis’s eyes started to ache.

 

Travis felt like he could forget about everything when he was around Sal, it was just so fun. He had never had someone care about him the way Sal did, it made him feel special. He wasn’t going to waste such an opportunity.

 

 

Sal didn’t mind that, of course. But as the weeks passed the small touches started to last longer and so did the stares. Sal knew it might have been friendly behaviour, but he was aching to know if it really was, or if it was something more.

 

 

Thinking about it, Travis was actually pretty handsome. Sure, without all the cuts and bruises he could have looked better, but Sal found himself staring at him a lot.

 

There was just something about his face. When he was relaxed, it still looked like he was angry. Travis always looked like he was mad at the world, and Sal would have given the Lord anything to know the real reason why he was so upset all the time.

 

 

Why did he have to be so interested in a guy like Travis? He was the pastor’s only son, but yet so far from holy.

 

And why did Travis have to be so angering one day, but sweet and caring the next? And why did he have to be so handsome and make Sal feel like-

 

 

“Sal?” The blond called out and the blue haired boy blinked, focusing on his fidgeting hands.

 

  
This time they were in Sal's room, playing video games. His controller had slipped out of his grasp and he could see a look of concern on Travis's usual emotionless face. 

 

  
He was quick to take hold of the controller again. "I'm fine, sorry I zoned out.. again." His voice trailed off slightly at the end. Travis said nothing, and Sal silently thanked him for it with a smile- then remembered he couldn't see it.

 

  
Sal had always followed his instinct when it came to taking off his prosthetic in public. The only people he felt comfortable doing it with were his father, Larry and Ashley. But Travis? It was a bit more complicated.

 

  
Despite Travis's efforts to be a better person, Sal couldn't just forget the hell he had put him through for the past three years. Forgive, yes. Forget, not so much. 

 

  
And he knew that Travis had seen part of his face, even if it had been an accident. He had looked away that time, but Sal blamed the shock caused from the situation. He had been quite shocked himself

 

  
The thought of taking his prosthetic off in front of Travis made him feel like someone would feel while stripping on a stage in front of hundreds of people.  
It made him feel sick.

  
But when he thought about it more, a warm feeling blossomed from that sickness and he felt like it was the right thing to do.

 

  
He wanted to see Travis's reaction to his real self, he wanted to know if Travis really liked him or if he just found his mysterious persona interesting.

 

  
He wanted to know everything about Travis's thoughts. He wanted to be there for him, knowing that no one else was going to.  
He just wanted Travis. 

 

  
"It's okay, I was getting kinda tired of losing, anyways." The blond's voice interrupted his thoughts once again, and Sal smiled. 

  
"Dude, it's not my fault you suck at video games." He said, still smiling under his prosthetic as he grabbed Travis's controller and put it in a carton box with his own, then pushed it under his bed. 

  
Travis gave him a dramatic gasp, making Sal chuckle. "It's not my fault I was never allowed to play video games."

  
Sal paused. "Fair." He mumbled and stood just to turn the TV off, then sat back on the floor. "But you're getting better, I'll give you that." 

  
"Woah, thanks." He said with a roll of his eyes, but the small smile lingering on his lips made Sal understand that he wasn't actually annoyed.

 

  
They sat in comfortable silence for a minute, and Sal turned his attention to Travis as the other started chewing on the ends of his nails. 

  
Sal had noticed that the boy had a severe oral fixation. He chewed on literally anything, and his reddened fingertips and incredibly short nails were proof of that. He barely did that whenever they were together, but maybe he was so used to doing it he didn't even notice it anymore. 

 

  
He reached out and grabbed Travis's wrist as gently as he could, lowering his hand and catching his attention. "You hungry? I have some snacks- or we could cook something." 

  
Travis reluctantly pulled his hand away and rested it in his lap. "I think I should go home, I don't want my dad to think I lied about where I am."

 

  
Which he did. He always told his father he was at a friend's house doing Bible study whenever he was with Sal, and luckily that friend seemed to be supportive and had never snitched on him. He figured kids with strict parents would always try to have each other's backs. 

 

  
That sentence made Sal's smile falter. "Travis..."

  
Travis noticed the change in his voice, quickly shaking his head. "Don't worry, it's fine. He hasn't been.. you know.. lately, I think he's calmed down. I just don't want to make him mad."

  
"You always say that."

  
"I mean it this time." 

  
Sal looked down at his own hands, starting to pick at his black nail polish. "You shouldn't be afraid of your own father." 

 

  
Travis let out a tired, shaky breath. "I know." He said simply and waited for Sal to say something back, but he didn't.  
"I.. I guess we could eat something. Now that I think of it, I'm hungry." 

  
That made Sal slowly raise his head. "Alright." He shrugged, not waiting for Travis as he stood and made his way to the living room area. 

 

  
Travis followed him, leaning against the kitchen counter and tapping his fingers against it as he waited for Sal to find something good enough to eat

 

  
Sal didn't look at him as he opened the fridge, and that made Travis anxious. Had he made him mad?  
"I know what you think about the situation, but I can't just.. leave him. It's just.. really hard." He said and Sal sighed, shaking his head.

  
"I know, I'm just.. worried about you, you know?" 

  
That made Travis's heart flutter. _God, why are you like this?_  
"Why?" He asked, and he didn't really know where he had found the courage to do it. He was just thinking and it had slipped out. 

  
Sal absently grabbed a box of cheddar cheese and turned around to look at him. "You're my friend, and no one deserves that." 

  
Travis nodded. He knew he was going to get that answer. "I'm sorry. I'm trying to get better."

 

He was surprised when Sal placed the plastic box on the counter and wrapped his slender arms around Travis's torso, pulling him into a warm hug.   
"Stop apologizing, I'm not mad at you." 

  
Travis's entire body relaxed and he wrapped his own arms around Sal. To his dismay the hug was quick, and the shorter boy soon pulled away to focus on making dinner. 

  
"I can't cook for shit, so... how does a cheese sandwich sound?"

  
Travis smiled at the honesty, shrugging. "Sounds good. I can grill them if you'd like." 

  
"Deal." 

 

  
And just like that they started making their sandwiches, the tension in the air quickly dissolving

 

Sal wasn't lying when he had told Travis he didn't know how to cook. It started with him cutting a bread loaf the wrong way, then making the cheese slices too uneven. 

  
Travis teased him for it, and Sal just stuck to calling him a control freak. But the experience was overall enjoyable, and they ended up sitting on Sal's couch with two grilled-cheese sandwiches and some chips to share. 

  
Sal turned the TV on and glanced to Travis before looking down.

 

  
He slowly reached up and unbuckled the straps of his mask, but instead of pulling it up so he could eat like he always did, he took it off completely. He set it down on the couch, being sure to make enough noise with the straps so Travis could hear.

  
He had expected Travis to turn around and stare at him, or at least try and get a look, but he did none of that. He just kept his gaze focused on the TV, but Sal was sure he had noticed what was happening.  
  
  
In a way he felt happy because Travis wasn't trying to make him uncomfortable, but on the other hand it made him feel like he was being rejected. Maybe Travis really was disgusted with him and had enough of his face just from the small look he got in P.E. class.

  
He finished his sandwich even if he had lost his appetite, then quietly clasped the prosthetic back on. 

 

  
Travis visibly relaxed as he finished his own sandwich and turned his head to look at Sal with a small smile. Sal wanted to be mad, but he really couldn't.   
"I'll help you clean up." 

  
Sal shook his head, gesturing towards the kitchen. "It doesn't matter, I'll do it later. I don't want you to be in danger because you wasted even more time by cleaning up my mess." 

  
Travis understood, but he just shrugged his shoulders. "I'm not really wasting my time if I'm doing it with you."

  
That made Sal look down, but he figured it only gave his embarrassment away. Travis couldn't see his face after all. "Oh, shut up." He said and nudged the other playfully, being very careful with his movements. "I'll see you on Monday, dork." 

  
Right. It was Friday night and they didn't usually see each other on the weekends, considering how busy Travis was with his dad's ministry. 

 

  
Travis stood and grabbed his backpack, throwing it over his shoulders as he stole one last chip from Sal's grasp, earning a playful glare. "Bye, Sal." 

  
Sal walked him to the door and waved him goodbye, closing it as soon as he saw that Travis had stepped into the elevator. 

 

  
The blond walked out of Addison apartments, not looking back as he made his way home. He felt happy, but confused.

  
He had noticed that Sal had taken off his prosthetic while they were eating. He had never done it around him, so Travis figured he didn't want him to look. Sal deserved to feel comfortable in his own house, and Travis felt proud of himself for not even shooting him a glance. He hoped he had gained at least a bit of Sal's trust.

 

  
He was so lost in thoughts he didn't notice how close to his house he had gotten. But as soon as he stepped closer to the sidewalk he noticed that the front door was open, and he squinted his eyes to see who was standing by the porch. 

  
His heart skipped a beat when he recognized his friend from church. The kid usually came over on the weekends, but this time it felt surreal. He was the friend he was supposed to be doing Bible study with.

 

  
He silently started panicking, but he wouldn't just break down in the middle of the road, and he had no place to go to escape his fate.

 

  
He took a deep breath, walking closer to the front door. Just like that a middle-aged, plump woman stepped out of the house. She seemed to instantly notice Travis, and if looks could kill he was sure he would have been dead by now.

 

"Shame on you, kid. Using my child to lie to your father."

  
But Travis didn't feel ashamed, he was terrified. He glanced at his friend- and he looked mortified. He mouthed a small 'sorry' before his mother took hold of his arm and dragged him down the street.

 

  
Travis just stood there, petrified as he considered the different options. But he had no time to think.

  
"Travis Phelps!" The voice he feared so much shook him out of his thoughts, and he started trembling like a leaf. He could already feel tears starting to well up in his eyes, but he quickly wiped them away with his sleeve.  
  
  
Holding onto the straps of his backpack, he took a deep breath, stepping into the hell he once called home, then closed the door.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are always appreciated. :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where the romance starts, fellas. You wanted a kiss, so you get a kiss.

Sal was awakened by the sound of insistent knocking on his apartment's door. He kept his eyes closed and waited for it to stop, hoping that whoever was disturbing him would just give up and leave.

 

 

After a good two minutes the sound came back. He cursed whatever divinity was watching him as he slowly sat up and blinked, glancing at the alarm clock on his bedside table that served as the only light in the room. _Almost two in the morning._

  
He quickly wiped his glass eye with a clean tissue and slipped it in his empty eye socket, then strapped his prosthetic on and walked out of his bedroom.

  
His father usually came home late on Fridays and often forgot his keys. He thought this was what it was all about, he didn't even bother looking through the peephole first. It would have taken too much effort anyways, he couldn't reach it unless he stood on a chair. 

 

 

He was surprised when he opened the door and found Travis standing there, his gaze planted on the floor. He was shaking terribly and holding onto his stomach like a wounded animal.  
  
  
Sal's eyes went wide, his jaw dropping. "Travis? What are you- what the fuck happened to you?" He asked, quickly reaching out and frowning as the other flinched away. 

  
"Can I come in?" The blond asked weakly, earning a nod from Sal. 

  
"Sure, of course.. I'm just... what happened?" He asked again and moved aside, watching as Travis shakily walked into the apartment. "Travis?" 

  
The other said nothing and just kept staring down at his feet. That gave Sal enough time to study his injuries.

  
A bruise was forming around Travis’s left eye, his cheekbone was swollen and his lips were covered in blood, which only worried Sal more. But he could see that the blood followed a red streak coming from his nose, so the bleeding wasn’t internal, at least. Sal didn't even want to think about what was hidden under his clothes.

God, he looked miserable. 

 

  
He took a step closer to the taller boy, not daring to touch him. "Please tell me what happened, or else I can’t help you." 

  
Travis slowly turned around and faced him. Sal had never seen him like this, it made his chest ache so much it physically hurt. He felt like he was going to cry himself. 

  
"He-he got mad, like really mad." Travis whimpered, taking a step closer to Sal and leaning into his open arms. "He told me he doesn't want to see me, b-but I have nowhere to go and-and-" he stuttered out, trying to swallow the knot in his throat as he held onto Sal. 

  
"Travis, calm down." Sal whispered and placed his hands on Travis's shoulders. He breathed in and out at a steady rhythm, trying to get Travis to imitate him. "Just focus on breathing for now, alright?" 

  
Travis nodded and looked away as he took deep breaths. After a few minutes he was clearly struggling to stand, and Sal guided him to the couch. As soon as they sat down the tears came back and Travis broke down in Sal's arms, wetting his oversized Sanity Falls t-shirt.

  
"I-I'm such a disappointment, if only I wasn't so fucked up he would l-love me, it w-wouldn't have to be like t-this."

 

Sal could barely make out his words, his brain still trying to process what was happening.  
"Don't you dare blame yourself. None of this is your fault." 

 

Travis just sobbed, but Sal could tell that he was slowly starting to come to his senses. His body was still trembling, but he had hidden his face in the crook of Sal’s neck as an attempt to stop crying.

 

“Are you all right?” He asked after a moment, his hand gently rubbing Travis’s back.

 

Travis couldn’t find the voice to speak. He just shook his head, his hair tickling Sal’s neck and making him shiver.

 

 

 

Sal didn’t know how long they had been sitting like this, but Travis’s heavy breathing and the warmth radiating off his body certainly didn’t help him focus on the situation at hand.

 

“I hate him so much. I fucking hate him, Sal.”

 

The blue-haired boy nodded, slowly letting go of Travis so he could sit up. His eyes were swollen, but he wasn’t shaking or crying anymore. That was a plus.

 

“Do you want to tell me what happened?”

 

Travis shook his head once again, using his sleeve to try and wipe the tears off. The blood had dried out, but the salty tears that had been mixed with it were now making a sticky mess on his face and sweater.

 

 

After a moment of uncomfortable silence Sal spoke up. "Come on, let’s get you cleaned up. I’ll give you some bandages if needed."

  
Travis looked up, tears starting to well up in his eyes once again. “You don’t have to do that.. I just..” He stopped when he felt Sal’s hand on his own, then a gentle squeeze.

  
"Just trust me.” The bluenette said softly, “I’m not going to hurt you." 

 

After a bit of resistance Travis stood, holding onto Sal’s hand tightly as they made their way to the bathroom.

 

 

Sal closed the door and made Travis sit on the toilet seat so he could be at his eye level. He then took hold of his first-aid kit and gestured towards the other’s face.

“We need to sterilize those cuts. You don’t want an infection.”

 

Travis remained quiet and let Sal work his magic. He hissed in pain when Sal pressed the wet ball of cotton on his open wounds, but he didn’t move away or protest.

 

 

After carefully cleaning the blood off and applying a band-aid to a particularly deep cut on his cheek, Sal inspected his neck and went to tug at the hem of Travis’s shirt.

 

Travis instantly tensed up, attempting to stop him by weakly grabbing his wrists. “Please, don’t.”

 

 

Sal looked up, his eyebrows furrowing. He figured he needed to be careful with his movements and words, he didn’t want to upset Travis even more. “I won’t if you don’t want me to, but I want to help. Let me help.”

 

Travis hesitantly let go of Sal’s wrists, but decided to take the shirt off himself. He looked away, Sal’s gaze on his scarred and bruised skin hurt more than anything. He felt humiliated, and for once he felt like not even Sal could understand his pain.

 

 

But Sal said nothing. The last thing he wanted to do was make Travis feel uncomfortable, so he just helped him clean himself up. Luckily there were no open wounds on his chest, but he noticed many even, fading scars that were almost an insult to Travis’s perfect, tanned skin.

 

“Did you do that?”

 

Travis didn’t even try to stop the tears rolling down his cheek, nodding his head. “I know... I’m a disappointment. I don’t deserve the air I breathe, I’m just a coward.”

 

Sal frowned, his head starting to ache. It felt like the beginning of a migraine. He groaned quietly, then reached up and unbuckled the straps of his prosthetic.

 

 

He didn’t give himself enough time to rethink his decision as he quickly took his prosthetic off and set it on the sink, then looked up. “I’ve learned this the bad way, but you shouldn’t be ashamed of your scars. One way or another, we all have them.”

 

Travis grimaced just for a moment, and Sal closed his eyes. Deep down he knew that Travis probably found him disgusting like everyone else, and he couldn’t stand seeing the disappointment in his face.

 

But Travis’s expression softened after a moment as he stared at Sal in utter awe. He had to admit that it was going to take some time to get used to it, but the scars didn’t cover Sal’s beauty at all. They made his image grotesque but fascinating, and Travis wanted to know what they’d feel under his fingertips.

 

“It’s even better than I thought it’d be. I’m... you’re beautiful.”

 

 

Sal reluctantly opened his eyes, giving him a look. "You're just saying that.” He smiled lightly, and Travis could finally see it, that beautiful smile. Some of Sal’s teeth were exposed because of a big gash on the right side of his face, and the action just made it more evident, but he’d get this over the prosthetic any day.

 

“I mean it.” Those words made Sal’s smile falter. He didn’t know if he should have believed him or not, but the feeling in his stomach came back, and it worsened when Travis placed a rough hand on his cheek.

 

Sal’s eyes widened as he felt Travis’s thumb stroke his scarred skin, unused to the contact. His touch was gentle though, it felt like Travis was trying his best not to break something fragile. And Sal had never felt so fragile before, his knees almost buckling under him. “Trav...”

 

The blond immediately pulled his hand away, making Sal step back and flinch at the sudden movement. “Shit. I’m sorry.”

 

“It’s fine.” He responded quickly, letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “You’re staying the night. We’ll think about what to do in the morning, all right?”

 

Travis nodded once again, thanking him quietly with a smile. He felt like he could get lost in Sal’s eyes if he stared too much, but he couldn't care less, because Sal smiled back and everything felt right, even if just for a minute.

 

_“Sal?”_

 

The shorter boy sighed when he heard his father’s voice coming from the living room, the smile disappearing as he broke eye contact and placed the first-aid kit back in its place under the sink.

 

Travis fiddled with his fingers, trying to maintain his composure. “Will your dad let me stay? I... I don’t wanna be a bother.”

 

“I’ll talk to him. Put your shirt on and come with me.”

 

Travis complied, slipping his shirt on and attempting to look decent before he followed Sal out of the bathroom. He immediately met Henry’s tired gaze, and his hands started trembling once again.

 

“Dad, you know Travis, right? Is it all right if he stays the night?” Sal asked, slowly reaching out to take hold of the taller boy’s shaky hand.

 

The man took off his coat, frowning as he noticed the state the blond was in. “Of course you can stay, Travis. Did something happen?”

 

Travis opened his mouth just to close it right after, not saying a word. He couldn’t handle a conversation about why he looked like a beat-up tomato at the moment, and Sal seemed to get the message. “Can we talk in the morning, dad? Please?”

 

Henry raised his eyebrows with a sigh and scratched the back of his neck. "Yeah. It’s getting pretty late, actually. I think I’m gonna go to bed myself.” He said with a small smile, gently ruffling Sal’s hair before disappearing in the room next to his son's bedroom.

 

 

Travis’s body relaxed once again, and he absently intertwined his fingers with Sal’s. He was glad to see that the other didn’t pull away, he just proceeded to drag Travis along to his bedroom.

 

He let go of his hand and opened his closet, carelessly tossing some of his clothes on the floor, then taking out an oversized black shirt and red shorts.

“I think these will fit you. Why don’t you change while I make us some tea?”

 

Travis watched as he left the room, slowly taking his shirt and pants off. He folded them and set them on the bed, then slipped on the clothes he had borrowed from Sal. He felt the same weird feeling in his stomach as he grabbed the collar of the black shirt he was wearing and brought it up to his face. It smelled like Sal.

 

He went to sit on the bed, then explored Sal’s room with his eyes. It looked the same as usual, but clothes were now scattered around and it was overall messier. It made him feel like Sal made at least some kind of effort to make it look presentable every time he came over, and the thought made him smile.

He then noticed at least five orange bottles sitting on the bedside table, each labeled with a different name. He was sure he had heard those names before.

 

 

After a few minutes Sal walked in with two full cups, then sat on the bed next to Travis.

 

“Thanks.” The blond whispered as he grabbed the cup he was offered, blowing on the liquid for a moment before taking a sip. Sal did the same, and they sat in comfortable silence for a moment.

 

 

“Thank you... for being so nice to me. Without you I don’t know where I’d be right now.” Travis said quietly, looking down at his almost empty cup.

 

Sal’s expression softened but he quickly looked away as he realized that he had left his prosthetic in the bathroom. “Don’t thank me. I know you’d do the same for me.”

 

 

After they were done, Travis definitely felt better. His body wasn’t as tense, mainly because he was trying not to think about what had happened. He knew that if he thought about it too much he would have started crying again, so he tried to focus on something else.

 

That something how he was going to maintain his composure that night..

 

 

 

“I can sleep on the couch. I don’t want to kick you out of your own bed.” He said, holding a blanked over his hip as he stared at Sal. But the other didn’t budge, shaking his head.

 

“You deserve comfort more than I do right now. I’ll sleep on the couch.”

 

“But-”

 

“My house, my rules.” Sal furrowed his eyebrows, crossing his arms over his chest.

 

Travis closed his eyes, bringing a hand up to rub his temple. “You’ve already done so much for me... please.”

 

Sal nodded and let his arms fall down his sides. “I mean... we could share my bed.” he offered, looking away as Travis opened his eyes.

 

“Are you sure?”

 

Sal sat down at the edge of his bed. “Look away.” He said with a dry chuckle and Travis did, unsure of what he was doing. He was too tired to care anyways.

 

 

Sal carefully took his glass eye out, placing it in the glass of water that always sat on his bedside table. He then proceeded to turn the lights off and lie down, scooting over to one side of the bed to give Travis more room.

 

“You can turn around now.”

 

Travis turned around, his eyes widening as he saw Sal’s glass eye staring at him from the bedside table. Sal giggled, the sound making Travis’s lips curl up in a smile.

 

“Don’t laugh, that scared the living fuck out of me.” He mumbled and slipped under the covers, immediately easing up as his body came in contact with the soft mattress.

 

 

 

After almost twenty minutes both boys were pretending to be asleep without much success. Travis glanced at the alarm clock as he heard Sal shift beside him.

 

“What time is it?” the other mumbled, his voice muffled by the covers he had pulled over his face.

 

“Almost three.” Travis breathed out, shifting so he was lying down on his side. They both stared at each other for a minute, and Sal was the first to look away.

 

 

“What are those?” Travis asked, gesturing towards the orange bottles he had noticed earlier. He just couldn't get the thought out of his mind. 

 

“That’s... my medication.” The other said quietly with a shrug of his shoulders.

 

Travis cocked an eyebrow, squinting his eyes to get adjusted to the darkness. “Medication?”

 

Sal pulled the covers down, so he could expose his mouth and speak clearly. “I see a therapist twice a week. I have diagnosed depression... and other shit like that. I basically have to swallow that shit down so I don’t throw myself off a building.” He said, adding a light chuckle at the end.

 

Travis didn’t get the humor in that, however. “Shit, man. I’m sorry.”

 

“It’s okay, it’s been going on forever, you know? I don’t remember a time in which I didn’t have to take meds or talk to a shrink to behave like a decent person.”

 

Travis frowned, looking down at their almost touching hands. “That’s weird, because you’re the most decent person I’ve ever met.”

  
  
Sal rolled his eyes, smiling and looking up at him through heavy-lidded eyes. “You think so?”

 

“Definitely.” He whispered, shifting closer to him so their pinkies touched.

 

Sal followed his gaze, looking down and moving slightly closer as well. “You put yourself down too much. You’re a decent person as well, you just can’t see it.”

 

“I’m really not.”

 

“You’ve improved since freshman year.”

 

Travis shrugged, stroking Sal’s knuckles with his thumb. “I’ve just come to the conclusion that no matter how hard I try, I can't get worse than I already am.”

 

Sal’s breath quickened slightly at the contact, but he didn’t pull away. He knew how touch-starved Travis was, and if he had to be honest with himself, he craved anything he had to offer. “Dude, you’re a good friend when you try. And... there’s nothing wrong about liking boys. It doesn’t make you a bad person.”

 

Travis looked away in shame, not sure about what to say. He knew that his father’s ideas influenced him too much when it came to discussing his sexuality, and he didn’t really want to think about him at the moment.

 

His thoughts were interrupted by Sal’s voice for what felt like the hundredth time that night. “I know what you’re thinking, but your father doesn’t own you. Just start doing whatever the fuck you want.”

 

His eyebrows furrowed, and Sal could swear he looked more frustrated than anything. “I can’t just do ‘whatever the fuck I want’. You don’t understand.”

 

“Maybe I don’t. But I know that you deserve to be happy after everything you’ve been through.”

 

Travis exhaled, his hands starting to tremble once again as he slowly reached out, wrapping his arms around Sal’s tiny body and pulling him closer.

 

Sal stiffened, eventually resting his forehead against the other’s chest. He closed his eyes when he felt Travis slightly loosen his grip around him. His breath felt hot against Sal’s skin, who was keeping his face pressed into Travis’s shirt not to give his embarrassment away.

 

 

At some point he could feel Travis's hands settle on the small of his back, then slowly move up and down. The smaller boy let out a shaky breath, subconsciously holding onto Travis’s shirt. He didn’t know if this was actually happening, or if he had fallen asleep and this was the result of a dream, but he sure as hell was enjoying it.  

He then let out a low chuckle as Travis brushed his bangs out of his forehead, making him look up. “Trav?”

 

His eyes widened when Travis pressed his lips against his, silencing him completely. His body tensed up and he knew that Travis could feel it, because he immediately pulled away. He looked mortified as he sat up and scooted back.

“Shit- I fucked up. I’m sorry, fuck! I shouldn’t have...”

 

Sal sat up as well, the covers falling down onto his lap. “Um- no, it’s okay. I’m just... confused.” he said quietly. Travis surprisingly couldn't blame him.

 

“I’m sorry, I’m gonna sleep on the couch.” he mumbled, but before he could stand up Sal went to grab his arm gently.

 

“Wait.” he said a bit louder, feeling Travis freeze up under his grasp. “You can’t just... you can’t just do that and leave. Do you want to talk about it?”

 

 

Travis shook his head, taking deep breaths as he tried to keep himself from having another breakdown. “I’d rather not. Not now.”

 

Sal looked disappointed. “Then... why?”

 

“You told me I need to start doing whatever the fuck I want, yeah?” He asked, finally finding the courage to look up and meet his gaze.

 

Sal nodded, bringing his knees up to his chest.

 

There was a moment of hesitation from Travis, but he was determined to finish this. He knew he couldn’t go back in time and that he couldn’t change what he had done.

“I've been wanting to do that for a long time, because I fucking like you.” He admitted, closing his eyes. “You can kick me out of your bed if-”

 

His words were swallowed by Sal’s mouth as their lips were connected once again, this time in a rougher kiss. His eyes shot open, but Sal’s were closed, his eyebrows furrowed in clear concern.

 

After a short moment he slowly went to place his hands on Sal’s hips, observing his reactions closely. In return, the boy shifted and got up on his knees, his legs pressing on either side of Travis’s outer thighs.  
  
  
Travis wasn't gentle, and he didn't waste much time before opening his mouth into the kiss, Sal following him suit.

He wouldn't have expected his first kiss to be like this at all, but he was too taken aback to care. 

 

The kiss felt more like a bite, it was sloppy because of how eager they both were. Sal could feel saliva dripping down his chin, and the gash on his cheek certainly didn’t help with it.

 

But Travis didn't care. He was high on the taste of Sal's lips, he couldn't pull away. Kissing Sal made him feel safe, like he had finally found home.

 

  
Sal was the one to break the kiss however, opening his eyes and resting his forehead against Travis's as they both tried to catch their breath.

  
  
"So," he murmured, wrapping his arms around the blond's neck loosely as he spoke. "The note in the bathroom..."

 

"It was for you." 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for all the comments and kudos, they always make my day.  
> Thanks for reading and have a nice day!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this is a bit short, but just today I realized that I am leaving tomorrow and I won't be able to post for like a month, and I wanted to update before that.  
> I also wanted to set in a cozy mood 'cause my boys deserve happiness, so this is what this chapter is about, pretty much.

Sal groaned sleepily, the sound of loud snoring coming from beside him making him wake up.

  
He turned his head slightly, only to be greeted by a sleeping Travis. The blond had shifted onto his stomach, the side of his face pressed against Sal's pillow. His mouth was slightly open, hence the snoring that had forced Sal out of his strangely pleasant sleep.

  
His hair was a mess, but he always looked so peaceful when he slept, and Sal could swear he looked like an angel. 

 

  
He glanced at the alarm clock and quickly sat up, moving closer to it and squinting his eyes incredulously.

  
It was almost one in the afternoon. Sal couldn't remember the last time he had slept this much, but he figured that his father had let him sleep in because of Travis. Also, an entire night without nightmares was always appreciated.

  
He looked down as Travis began to shift by his side, bringing one of his hands up to rub his bruised eye. He yawned and stretched his arms out, then his dark eyes met Sal's own blue eye.

 

  
It took him a moment to realize that he wasn't lying in his own bed, taking a deep breath of relief as soon as he did. 

  
"Good morning." Sal said with a small smile, scooting over to his side of the bed so he could sit by the bedside table.

  
"Morning." Travis mumbled, sitting up but not quite getting out of bed yet.

  
"Did you sleep well?" Sal asked, cleaning his glass eye with a wet tissue and slipping it in his empty eye socket. 

  
The sound of the fake orb being inserted made Travis visibly shiver, but he shrugged it off. "Yeah." He said quietly. "Did you?" 

  
Sal blinked to set the prosthetic eye in place. "Not really, you snore a lot." He hummed.

  
Travis furrowed his eyebrows. "My nose hurt, I couldn't really breathe through it." 

  
He obviously hadn't sensed the irony in Sal's statement. Making him feel guilty was the last thing Sal wanted to do. "I.. I was joking. I slept well, no nightmares and all." 

  
Travis nodded, his expression softening. He hadn't meant to sound rude, he was just new to the whole 'being nice' thing. "Thanks for letting me stay the night." 

 

"No problem." Sal mumbled as he opened a drawer and grabbed a plastic hair tie, then tied his hair up in a ponytail, Travis's eyes never leaving his figure. 

 

  
The tiredness seemed to leave Travis’s body immediately as he remembered what had happened the previous night. He wondered why Sal was so casual about it all.

  
Then again they had kissed and he had basically confessed his undying love for Sal, but it had ended there. Those events had left Travis more confused than anything, but it wasn't the right time to think about himself.

  
He slowly reached out and gently took hold of Sal's chin, not quite leaning in yet. The scars felt alien against Travis's fingers, but he tried to act like he wasn’t bothered by them. He didn't want Sal to think he was grossed out, because he clearly wasn't, but he knew that it was going to take some to get used to the other’s face.

  
Sal seemed to get his intentions, because he immediately closed his eyes and leaned into the other's touch, and once again Travis's split lips met Sal's scarred ones. 

  
It was gentler this time. It was more like a tender peck, actually. Travis didn't mind, because being able to kiss Sal made him feel alright, no matter how they did it. 

 

  
Sal moved one of his hands to the back of Travis's neck as he broke the kiss, his sly smile making the blond's heart flutter. 

  
"So, um.." He started, catching the bluenette's attention. He was wondering whether Sal had kissed him out of pity or not. But his instinct told him that it couldn't have been just that. He wanted to know. "Do you like me as well?" 

  
"Duh." Sal scoffed, rolling his eyes- or more like his real eye. "Of course I like you." 

  
Travis's lips curled up in a sheepish smile, and he could now add something else to the list of things he had noticed about Sal: his face hadn't gotten flushed, but his neck and ears had, even if it was barely noticeable. Looking at it, Sal’s face looked more like a piece of art. Art that not many people could understand, but Travis was willing to look past its appearance to get there.

  
"I'm kind of hungry." He said absently, making Sal's smile widen. 

  
"Mhm." He hummed in response and tangled his fingers in Travis's dirty blond hair, pulling him down for another kiss. He opened his mouth this time, giving Travis full access while his other hand went to rest on his semi-muscular forearm. 

  
Travis's eyes widened in surprise, but he reciprocated the kiss nevertheless. He pretended not to notice how Sal's eyelids fluttered when he grazed his tongue against his, but he had to admit it did something to him.

 

  
"Sal- I meant, like, for real." He stuttered out after pulling away, and he couldn't help the small chuckle that escaped his lips at the flushed boy's expression.

  
"Oh," Sal breathed out and chuckled along with him, chest heaving. "Sorry."

  
They both pulled away, hearts beating in unison as they walked towards opposite sides of the room.

Sal grabbed new, clean clothes from his closet while Travis just unfolded the ones he wore the night before. The small drops of blood he found on his purple flannel shirt brought him back to reality, making him remember that happiness was just temporary after all.

  
"You can take a shower, if you want. There's clean towels in the bathroom." Sal made him snap out of his haze, then proceeded to take his shirt off. 

  
Travis turned away however, murmuring a quick "Thanks" before closing the door. 

 

  
He sighed as he locked the bathroom's door, hesitantly taking off the clothes he had borrowed from Sal. He stared at his reflection in the mirror with a frown, noticing that the bruise around his eye had just gotten worse, but when he took the band-aids off his face he could see that the small wounds were already starting to heal. That wasn’t enough to relieve him, though.

  
After a minute he stepped into the bathtub and turned the hot water on, letting out a shaky breath as it hit his sensitive skin. Everything hurt, and he could feel his body starting to tremble.

 

_Don't think about it._

  
He surprisingly managed not to cry, feeling too emotionally numb for another breakdown. For once he was actually trying to think positively, and he blamed it on Sal.

  
He looked around to distract himself. There were at least five different bottles of fancy soap brands in the shower, and he finally realized why Sal always smelled pretty much divinely. The shampoo smelled like vanilla and strawberries, while the liquid soap was blueberry scented instead. Just thinking about Sal made his insides feel warm. _Is this what love feels like?_

  
After he was done rinsing his hair he turned the water off, stepping out of the bathtub and wrapping a long, white towel around his body. 

  
The warmth in the room made him feel somewhat comfortable, and for once he let himself sit down and relax. He attempted to clean his shirt with some soap and warm water, without much success. After he was done getting dressed he reapplied the band-aids to the cuts on his cheek and stepped outside. 

 

 

Sal sat on the couch, now changed in more casual clothes. His hair ran wild down his shoulders, almost like a waterfall. He was wearing his prosthetic, and Travis figured it was just out of force of habit. He couldn't really blame him.

  
Sal crossed his legs and -Travis could assume- smiled, motioning him to sit.

  
"You're so gay you can't even sit properly." Travis scoffed and sat beside him.

  
Sal did an overly-dramatic hair flip, earning a smile from the blond. "It takes a faggot to know one." 

  
"Oh, fuck off." 

 

  
After a few minutes of unfunny jokes and even less funny comebacks, they both went quiet. Travis scratched the back of his neck and Sal spoke up.

  
"Dad brought some Chinese take-out. Wanna eat?" 

  
"Uh, sure." He watched as Sal stood and walked to the kitchen, then came back with boxes full of food- that smelled amazing, by the way.   
"Is your dad home?" 

  
The bluenette sat down and shrugged. "He's barely home." 

  
Travis wasn't sure about what to say. He wasn't in a good position to give family advice. "Oh... sorry." 

  
Sal shook his head and handed Travis an empty plastic plate, then unclasped the straps of his prosthetic and set it down. "It's okay. I know he works his ass off for me." 

  
Travis took hold of the plate and watched as Sal divided the food in equal portions, trying not to stare at his face. "Your dad seems cool, honestly."

  
He could see a hint of a smile on Sal's face as he spoke. "He is. I mean, he's gone through shit too. Especially after..." 

 

  
Travis cleared his throat as he went to grab a pair of wooden chopsticks. "It's okay, you don't have to talk about it." 

  
The blue-haired boy took a pair of his own and exhaled through his nose- or what was left of it. "It's just that... I know he deserves to be happy, but now that he's seeing Lisa it's like he forgot about everything." 

  
Travis swallowed the lump in his throat and turned his head slightly to look at the shorter boy. "What do you mean?" 

  
"It's like he forgot about mom." 

  
The blond went quiet for a moment, the dumpling he had taken hold of falling back in the plastic plate. "I'm sure he's not forgetting about your mom. Moving on doesn't mean forgetting." 

  
"Yeah, I know." The other murmured, picking at his food. "You're right, it's childish." 

  
Travis slowly reached out, wrapping an arm around Sal's shoulders. "It's not childish, I get it." 

  
The small gesture made Sal's lips curl up in a genuine smile, and he looked up. "What about your mom? You said she... left?" 

  
Travis's smile faltered. "She left when I was a kid, after the divorce."  
Sal's mouth hung open but Travis quickly shook his head. "I'm glad she did. She did not deserve everything my dad put her through." 

 

  
Sal averted his gaze, focusing on his plate. "I'm sorry, but I hate your dad more than anything."

  
The blond forced a chuckle, lightly squeezing Sal's arm. "Don't be sorry, he deserves all of it." Despite really meaning it, his voice cracked, and he cursed himself for it. 

  
"Are you okay?" 

  
It took Travis a moment to respond. It wasn't a question he usually got.  
"Sometimes I wonder if she's alive, or if she thinks about me." 

  
Sal's expression softened, and he gently laid his head against Travis's shoulder. "I'm sure she does." 

  
Travis used his other hand to wipe his eyes. "We were very close. Before she left, she told me that she was going to visit soon. She never did." 

  
"That sucks, man. I'm sorry." The other sighed, hesitantly leaning up and placing a small kiss on Travis's cheek.

  
Hell, that got him smiling.  
"Don't apologize." He ruffled Sal's hair, earning an annoyed whine. "We made this depressing for no reason." 

  
"Let's take 'bonding over family issues' out of our 'to do' list." Sal hummed, nudging Travis's side playfully.

  
He rolled his eyes in response, a small smile still pulling at the corners of his lips. "Right."

 

 

They ate their food in comfortable silence after that, eventually glancing at each other and chuckling when their gazes met.

 

Sal could finally understand why people wanted to fall in love. It felt nice, it was like he had planted a small seed. He could pretend it wasn’t there, but it would still grow and make him feel like he had accomplished something.

 

 

After they were done eating Sal set the plates aside and flopped down on the couch, grabbing the remote control. “Wanna watch a movie?”

 

Was Sal bored? Travis could tell he was. Then again there wasn’t much they could do, and the sound of thunders outside signaled that it wasn’t the right time to leave the apartment. “Sure.”

 

Sal turned the TV on and switched between channels for a few minutes before he decided to settle on a true crime documentary. He looked up for a short moment, noticing Travis’s uncertainty. “Come be my big spoon?”

 

The blond stared right back into Sal’s eyes and nodded, taking a deep breath and slowly lying down on the couch behind him. He hesitantly wrapped an arm around the smaller boy's torso, and he was relieved when Sal placed a hand on top of his own instead of pulling away.

 

The blue-haired boy could feel Travis’s hot, shivering breath on his neck, and the silence was almost too much to bear.

“Have you been thinking about what to do?” He asked quietly. “With your, uh, situation.”

 

Travis exhaled through his nose, burying his face in Sal’s back and grunting, “I don’t want to think about it right now.”

 

Sal’s expression softened and he proceeded to squeeze the other’s hand. “It’s okay, you can stay as long as you want. We’ll find a way to fix this.”

 

His voice always managed to soothe Travis, for some reason. The blond nodded and tightened the grip around Sal’s upper body, knowing that as long as he was with him he was going to be all right.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are always appreciated! <3


	11. Chapter 11

Travis slowly winked awake, his eyelids heavy. He tried to roll over but found himself wrapped in a blanket, his head resting uncomfortably against the arm of the couch.

  
He realized then that he had fallen asleep, and that Sal wasn't there for him to hold anymore. His chest ached a little at that, but he knew that Sal would have done anything to avoid sleeping. Plus, the blanket he was now wrapped in just showed him how thoughtful and caring Sal had been.

  
_Sal. Where is he?_

  
Travis slowly sat up and got rid of the blanket, then made his way towards Sal's room.

  
More the time he spent in that apartment, the more he realized how cozy it was, despite being very simple and small. Travis had come to the conclusion that he felt more comfortable being in there, in comparison to his father's huge but nightmare-inducing house.

 

  
As he got closer to the door, he heard voices. They weren't clear and he couldn't really make out what they were saying, which made him kind of anxious.

  
When he placed his hand on the doorknob and pushed it open the talking stopped, and he was met by four curious eyes.

  
Sal was sitting on the floor next to Larry, holding his gear boy in his lap while the other seemed to be scribbling on a small notebook. 

  
They both looked up, and Sal's fingers stopped fidgeting with the glowing controller. "You're awake." 

 

 

Travis nodded his head, his gaze fixed on Larry.   
The brunet just stared back. He wasn't too serious, but he wasn't smiling either. Travis always thought the dude looked like a ghost, and that day was no exception. 

  
He knew that despite apologizing and getting along with the rest of the group, Larry still hadn't forgiven him completely. That was why he was always wary when it came to interacting with him, and all he did was wave awkwardly. 

  
"Um, Sal? Can we talk?" 

  
The blue-haired boy tossed his gear boy aside and went to stand, but a heavy hand positioned on his shoulder, keeping him from doing so. 

  
"Can't you two talk here?" Larry asked, raising his thick eyebrows. 

 

  
Travis couldn't exactly leave, and Larry looked like he wasn't going to leave either, so he just exhaled through his nose and sat next to Sal, crossing his legs.

  
Larry slowly reached out for his backpack that lay beside him, opening it and putting his notebook inside. "You were sleeping like a rock, dude. What's up with you?" 

  
"I was tired." 

  
Larry averted his gaze as he took hold of two small paper bags and positioned them in his lap. "You had to come all the way here to take a nap?" 

  
"Larry." Sal warned him, but Travis just shrugged his shoulders. 

  
"Didn't Sal tell you?" He asked, now focused on Sal who slowly shook his head. "Oh. Never mind." 

  
The brunet didn't look up as he took a small piece of paper out of the bag, then positioned a small filter on its side. "You two got secrets now?" 

 

  
Travis cleared his throat, thinking about the previous night. They definitely had secrets. "No, well. We're not exactly close, I'm not sure you want to hear about it." 

  
"I want to hear." The taller boy hummed as he focused on his task, now holding up the piece of paper as he filled with tobacco the crease he had made.

  
"Some stuff has been going on at home and I don't feel safe there. I came here because Sal's my closest friend."

  
He seemed to get Larry's attention with that. "Yeah, I figured," he murmured as he brought the thin paper to his lips and licked along one side, then rolled it. "You gonna tell me what 'stuff' is, or do I need a warrant?" 

  
Travis glanced around the room uncomfortably, his gaze meeting Sal's. He took a deep breath, "It's about my family."   
When the brunet said nothing he continued, "About my dad." 

  
Larry looked up, now holding the cigarette in his mouth. "The preacher?" 

  
The blond nodded, "He hasn't been the nicest person to me."

  
"What do you mean?" 

 

  
Travis sighed in resignation and rolled up his sleeves, then tugged at the collar of his shirt, pointing at his bruised neck and face. He had never felt so exposed and vulnerable before, but he was tired of hiding the truth from people who cared.

  
Larry seemed to get the message. "Damn, man. I always thought you, like... got in a lot of fights because you were an asshole, you know?" 

  
Travis adjusted the collar of his shirt and pulled his sleeves back down. "Yeah, I can see why." 

 

  
They all sat in silence for a minute. Sal looked lost in thoughts, his expression unreadable. Despite him not wearing his prosthetic, Travis still couldn't quite get what he was feeling at the moment. He looked mad, upset and confused at the same time. 

  
Sal's fingers ghosted over his scarred lips thoughtfully, and all Travis could think about was how much he wanted to feel them against his own again.

 

  
"Are you going to do anything about it?" Larry suddenly spoke up, making Travis look back at him. 

  
He hesitated, then shrugged his shoulders. "I'm... not sure. I haven't thought about what to do yet." 

  
Larry scoffed, "The most sensible thing to do is beat your dad to a pulp-" 

  
"-or go to the police. But I'm not sure if we can do that." Sal interrupted him, crossing his arms over his chest.

  
The brunet nodded. "Right. The cops suck." 

  
"That's not the only reason." Sal reminded him with a knowing look. 

  
It took Larry a moment to get what he was talking about. He glanced at Sal's gear boy and nodded again, "Oh, yeah." 

 

  
Travis raised an eyebrow, clearly confused. "What's up with you guys?" 

  
Larry sighed, reluctantly taking hold of his cigarette and slipping it in his backpack. "Well, this is gonna be complicated." 

  
"What-" 

  
"Let's go to Todd's." Sal interrupted the blond, absently reaching out and taking hold of his hand. "I feel like we could use some 'Todd advice' right now." 

  
Larry noticed the small gesture and gave Sal a curious look. Travis quickly pulled his hand away, nodding. 

  
"Todd advice?" 

  
"He's the best at giving advice, he knows his shit." The blue-haired boy mumbled, slightly disappointed at the loss of contact. 

  
"Damn straight. Well, kind of." Larry chuckled dryly and went to stand, throwing his backpack over his shoulder. "Come on." 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

  
"I know you're there, Todd. Open the hell up." Larry grunted, lazily slamming his fist against the door of Todd's apartment. 

  
Travis stood behind him, bringing one of his hands up and scratching his neck. "Maybe he's not home. I don't want to bother you guys..." He murmured, digging his nails deeper into his tan skin and hissing quietly. 

  
"You're not bothering us. Hey," Sal called out for him, gently taking hold of his hand and pressing it to the lips of his prosthetic face. Travis's face heated up, and he made sure that Larry wasn't looking before turning back to Sal. "It's going to be okay." 

  
He murmured a quick "thanks", giving Sal a nervous smile. From the way his eyes squinted, he could tell that he was smiling as well.

  
"You and Neil better not be fucking!" 

  
The boys both chuckled in unison, covering their mouths when the door was shut open.

 

  
Todd stood there, red, curly hair drenched and water dripping onto his green shirt. "I really hope this is an emergency." he grumbled, frowning at Larry's snort. "You're lucky my parents aren't home. What if they heard you?" 

  
Larry slipped his hands in his pockets and grinned, showing off his tooth gap. "They know you and Neil are fucking." 

  
"No, they don't."

  
"So you two do fuck." 

  
"Shut up, Larry. God." He muttered and adjusted his glasses, pushing them further up his nose. Only then he seemed to notice Travis standing by Sal.  
"Travis? It's been a while." 

  
Travis chuckled awkwardly, struggling to keep his eyes on Todd's figure. "Yeah." 

 

  
_Shit_ , how many times had he hurt Todd, both physically and mentally? The answer was _a lot_. And now he was standing by his door, asking for help. His stomach churned, making him avert his gaze.

  
He didn't register what Larry had told him, but from how Todd's face softened he could tell that he wasn't mad at him. 

  
"Come in." Todd murmured and closed the door as soon as the three boys had stepped into his apartment. 

 

  
The apartment looked a lot like Sal's, but the main difference was that this one reeked of marijuana.

  
Travis had grown familiar with the smell by spending time with Larry and Sal. He had even taken a hit once, and it made him feel pretty all right, so his face didn't scrunch up like the first time he had visited Todd's. _This is what friends are for_ , he thought.

  
The redhead sat on the couch, motioning the others to do the same. Larry carelessly sat on the floor, while Travis and Sal decided to be polite and follow the instructions. 

 

  
"So, what's the matter with you?" 

  
Larry clicked his tongue and shook his head absentmindedly. "Travis's dad is a piece of shit, and all the bruises we thought he got by being an asshole? It was him." 

  
"Lar." Sal murmured, furrowed eyebrows hiding behind his prosthetic. "That was... a bit rough." 

  
"Rough? If he wants help, the truth needs to be told." 

  
Travis just sat there, clenching and unclenching his fists as a way to relieve his stress. "It's okay. It's true. It's just... I guess I didn't really want to accept it." 

  
Todd looked puzzled, staring at the boys for a moment. "That's a crime, do you realize that?"

 

Travis nodded, and Todd leaned his head back slightly with a thoughtful hum. "Then you go to the police." 

  
"I'd end up in foster care. If they believe me, anyways." Travis mumbled, noticing how Sal shifted uncomfortably beside him. 

  
"Don't you have a mom? A close relative?" Larry asked, crossing his legs.

  
"I'm not sure if my mom's alive, and there's no close relatives I know of." 

 

 

Todd nodded, straightening his posture. "But you're not sure she's dead, right?" 

  
Travis shrugged, scratching the back of his neck. "Even if she weren't, she could be out of state or even back in Puerto Rico where she came from." 

  
"Wouldn't hurt to try." Todd adjusted his glasses once again, "The police can find her. If she's alive- and let's say, she has a license, they'll find her in no time with the right databases." 

  
"Are you actually suggesting I contact my mother?" Travis asked after a minute, eyes wide with worry.

  
Larry nudged Travis’s foot with his own, giving him an incredulous look. "Why not? She could take you out of this shithole. You're lucky, man." 

  
"I... I don't know." Travis said sincerely, swallowing hard so he could speak clearly. "They also said we can't go to the Nockfell police station, and they won't tell me why." He told Todd, motioning towards Larry and Sal.

  
"I see." Todd raised his eyebrows, running a hand through his still wet hair. "Well, drive out of town and go the nearest police station. I think it would be an hour drive, approximately." 

  
"And how the fuck do I get there? I don't have a car." Travis hadn’t meant to sound that harsh. He wasn’t mad, he was just scared, everyone could tell.

  
"Calm down, Travis." Sal said, to which Travis nodded with a shaky breath. "We'll drive you there, isn't that right Larry?" 

 

  
Larry raised an eyebrow, worrying his bottom lip with his teeth thoughtfully. "Fine, but I stay in the car. I don't fuck with the cops." 

  
Sal nodded and scooted closer to Travis, giving him a thumbs up. The blond looked down at his lap, hands quivering. "Guys, really. You don't have to do this."

  
"Oh, shut the hell up, Travis. I might have hated you once, but you don't have to be afraid of asking for help." Larry said as he stood up, "Plus, I don't really have anything better to do." He could tell that Travis was close to crying, and he rolled his eyes, stretching his arms out. "Come on, group hug!"

 

Before anyone could react he was on the couch, pulling everyone in a tight hug. Travis quickly wiped the small tear that rolled down his cheek, earning a soft look from his friends. It wasn’t a look of pity, it was genuine concern, and it made Travis feel safe.

  
"Thanks everyone.. thanks Todd." He murmured after pulling away, staring down at his sweaty palms.

 

  
"Don't mention it." Todd said, his gaze focused on Travis for a bit too long. "Can I talk to you for a minute?" he asked, and Travis’s head shot up. The redhead then looked at the other two. "In private." 

  
"At your service, sir.” Larry scoffed and grabbed his backpack before heading out of the apartment. "Yo Sal, can we stop by that store where I bought those bomb chips?" 

  
"What were they called again?" 

  
"If I knew I wouldn't have called them 'bomb chips'." He snickered, closing the door behind himself.

 

  
Travis fiddled with his fingers, not expecting Todd to be so quiet. "What is it?" 

  
"Are you and Sal together?" 

  
"I- what?" Travis’s eyes widened, he hadn’t meant to stutter.

  
"I saw the way you two look at each other. I always knew there was something up with you being an homophobic ass for no reason.” Todd sighed at the lack of response, "Homosexual to homosexual, you didn't deserve what your dad did to you. Don't you ever think you do, because you don't." 

  
Travis took a deep breath. He knew that he needed to stay calm to be believable, but his body clearly wasn’t having it. "I'm not gay."

 

Todd chuckled. It was the first time Travis had heard him chuckle, and he didn't know how to feel about it. "The sooner you accept it the sooner you'll be able to move on." 

 

  
"I know my dad's in the wrong, but I can't help but feel like I deserve it.” Todd went to speak, but Travis shook his head. “I'm a sinner, doesn't matter what Sal says or what any of you say. Father did his best to prevent me from being one and I.. disappointed him." 

  
Todd placed his hands on his own knees, looking up at the ceiling to clear his mind. "Okay, listen." He started, "What evidence does your dad have that being gay is wrong?" 

  
"The Bible." 

  
"Yes, it is stated in the Bible, but how do you know that your God actually condemns it?" Todd asked, tilting his head to the side. "The Bible was written by men, not God itself. The Church decided what parts to keep and whatnot. Jesus never really addressed it, either." He shrugged, "If you believe in the theory of the Biblical Creation, why do you think God would make you gay if it were wrong?" 

  
"Father says that.. gays aren't just born like that, because God doesn't make mistakes, ever." Travis’s head was pounding, but at the same time it was… liberating. Talking to someone about his thoughts, and that someone actually listening to him.

  
"Then, how come there's scientific evidence that you can't choose or change your sexuality? It's just... kind of in your brain." Todd explained, crossing his arms over his chest.

  
"What about the people who repent and turn straight?"

 

"They could be bisexual, or they simply forced themselves to be with the opposite sex because they were brainwashed. Like you, you're afraid of going to hell, and that's what makes you so scared of being with someone of your same sex. Trust me, you're not the only one." 

  
Travis tapped his fingers against the arm of the couch, shaking his head lightly. "My dad doesn't care about science, he doesn't care about stuff he doesn't agree with."

 

  
"Well, why should you care about what he says then?” Todd asked sincerely. “Relying on the Bible isn't a good way to determine what's actually true... You just live your life, Travis. I don't believe in the afterlife, but if I know something about your God, it is that it is forgiving." 

  
"Everything is just.. so confusing.” Travis admitted, once again wiping his eyes with his sleeve. “I don't know what I want, and I don't know what the right thing to do is." 

  
"Sometimes you just have to follow your gut feeling.” Todd’s lips curled up in a knowing smile. “Yes, it's not the type of advice I'd usually give, but I know what it's like to doubt yourself. I've been there." 

 

“Thank you… I’ve never said this to you personally, but I’m sorry for all the fucked up shit I’ve done. I guess I was just jealous.”

 

“Jealous of what?”

 

“Of how open you are about your sexuality, how accepting your parents are, how happy you and your boyfriend look together… I suppose.” He said quietly, nervously picking at his fingernails.

 

Todd nodded after a moment, he looked like he was trying to process his words. “I really hope you get out of this and find happiness one day.”

 

Travis chuckled dryly, standing up. “Thanks.”

 

“Let me know how it goes.”

 

"Yeah. Yeah, I will." He said, trying to push his nervousness aside. He had friends who were going to help him through it. For a moment, he felt like it was really going to be okay.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

After walking out of the apartment building Travis found Larry and Sal waiting for him on the opposite side of the road, and he could hear loud metal music from where he was currently standing. He couldn't help but smile at that.

 

They both looked up as Travis hopped into the backseat of Larry's vintage, red car, and Larry turned the radio off.

 

“You all right there, buddy?”

 

 

Travis looked back at Larry, then turned his gaze to Sal. Obviously, he couldn’t see his face, but he could almost see his encouraging smile from behind that cursed piece of thick plastic.

 

“Yes. I’m all right.” He breathed out, leaning back against his seat. “Let’s do this.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and have a nice day! Kudos and comments are always appreciated :)


	12. Chapter 12

Travis had expected the car ride to be dreadful, to the point that he even considered going back and forgetting about it all. Apologizing to his father and hoping that he’d take him back without a trip to the hospital sounded great to his impulsive-self.

  
But he thanked God for Sal and Larry, who managed to make him change his mind.

  
Deep down he knew that nothing good would have come out of it if he gave up and went back to his father. 

 

  
"All right, I'm going to get some snacks for the ride." Larry announced as he parked the car, earning a snort from Sal.

  
"It's just an hour ride." 

  
"Your point? I'm hungry." 

  
"Fair." Sal hummed and leaned back against the passenger seat. "We'll wait, grab a soda for me too." 

  
"You know, you have fucking legs." 

  
Sal rolled his eye, crossing his arms over his chest.  

  
“Seriously? You’re giving me the look now?” After getting no response Larry frowned. "...Fine, coming back in a minute." He scoffed, unbuckling his seat belt and hopping out of the car, slamming the door closed before making his way to the nearby grocery store. 

 

  
Travis swallowed hard, taking a deep breath. "Sal, I don't know how to thank you guys for everything that you're doing to help me. I.." 

  
He was interrupted by the sound of Sal unbuckling his seat belt and shifting, moving into the backseat and straddling the blond's lap. 

  
He couldn't find the will to speak as Sal undid the bottom straps of his prosthetic and lifted it over his mouth, pressing his lips against his own.

  
Sal's fingers soon knotted into his blond hair, their teeth clicking awkwardly and leaving Travis breathless. His hands grasped Sal’s shirt in return, and the sound that he let out at that was music to Travis’s ears.

 

  
"Holy shit... what was that for?" He asked quietly after Sal had pulled away for air, looking up at him through heavy-lidded eyes.

  
"You looked tense, I wanted to help." Sal whispered, a small smile pulling at his gnarled lips. "Also, I felt like it." 

 

  
Travis didn't say a word as Sal adjusted his prosthetic and hopped back into the passenger seat, turning the radio on and humming quietly as a Nirvana song came on.

  
He was trying to act like nothing had happened, he could tell. He wondered how Sal could be so casual about… whatever they were at the moment, while Travis was clearly freaking out on the inside. 

 

  
A few minutes passed, and Travis let the song finish to gather his thoughts.   
"Sal?" 

  
The blue-haired boy turned his head to the side slightly, blinking curiously.

  
Before he could continue, Travis jumped at the sound of the car's door opening and Larry getting into the driver's seat. 

  
"You got blueberry? It's my favorite." Sal exclaimed, reaching out and snatching one of the soda cans from Larry's hands. "Thanks, bro." 

  
"I know you too well." Larry said before tossing Travis a can, chuckling as the other failed to catch it. "Are we ready?" 

  
The boys nodded, both opening their cans and sipping on their sodas. 

 

 

  
Travis didn't know an hour could pass so fast. Maybe it was because he was nervous, and deep down he hoped that they would have never arrived to their destination. But they eventually did, and Travis's hands started trembling as soon as Larry had stopped the car in front of the police station. 

  
"Well, we're here." Larry said quietly, rolling his window down and sticking an arm out. "I'll wait for you here, let me know if you need anything." 

  
"Thanks, Larry Face." Sal said before unbuckling his seat belt and stepping out of the car, opening the door in the back so Travis could get out as well. 

  
"Are you coming too?" Travis asked. He felt as if his legs were going to give up on him soon, his head spinning.

  
"I'm not letting you go in there alone. I might be helpful, who knows?" He shrugged and gave Travis's shoulder a gentle nudge before starting to make his way to the entrance of the police station.

  
Travis walked alongside him, looking down at his feet. He couldn't believe it was actually happening. After all those years, he was finally looking for help. Even if they wouldn't have been able to find his mother, he knew that he had tried, at least.

 

  
"Can I help you?" 

  
A raspy voice made Travis snap out of his haze. He hadn't realized they had gotten inside, and they were now standing in front of a tall, broad officer. He was probably in his late 40's, and his round glasses didn't fit his round face at all, Travis thought. 

  
Travis forced a smile, walking closer to the counter. "Good afternoon, sir." 

  
The man said nothing, he seemed to be waiting for Travis to speak again. 

  
The blond looked down at Sal as a way to find the courage to speak, then looked up again. "I need to find someone, and a friend told me that you can find people with enough information, so I was wondering if-" 

  
"Look, kid." The officer interrupted him before he could finish his sentence, "If this is about a lost girlfriend who dumped you or something, we don't have time." 

  
Travis looked visibly surprised as he said that. "I... what? I'm trying to find my mother. I know you can find her in some way." 

  
The man shook his head, grabbing one of the various newspapers and sitting on a run-down desk chair. "If we did that for every kid that came in here asking to look for someone, this would be a call center."

  
Travis had to keep himself from snapping right there. But holding himself back caused small tears to form in the corner of his eyes, which made Sal frown. "I'm sorry, but I really need to know where she is..." 

 

  
"Listen, come back tomorrow. Maybe you'll have calmed down by then." 

  
"No, you listen." Sal scoffed, standing on his toes to look at the man better. "I'm sure the press would love to know that you and your men refused to help a kid get out of an abusive household for absolutely no reason. I see your badge, officer. I can give out names and everything."

  
The man raised an eyebrow, setting the newspaper down. "Did you just threaten me?" 

  
"No." Sal looked away for half a second, "But my father's a lawyer, and he'd love to hear about this. I'm just telling you to do your job." 

  
The dark-haired officer sighed in resignation, his eyebrows furrowing as he glared at Sal. "Take that damn mask off, it's unsettling." 

  
"It's a prosthetic." Sal glared back, tapping his fingers against the counter. 

  
"I'll let you know what we can do." The man murmured before standing up and disappearing into a door. 

 

  
Travis released a breath he didn't know he was holding, staring down at Sal. "Didn't know your dad was a lawyer." 

  
Sal shrugged, "He's not, but the asshole doesn't need to know that." 

  
"God, you're amazing." Travis whispered, to which Sal giggled quietly.

 

 

 

They stood there for what felt an eternity, none of them had the courage to start a conversation. Thankfully, at some point another officer walked in, holding up an incredulous amount of sheets of paper. He looked definitely younger than his colleague, his hair brown and curly. it reminded Travis of Todd.

  
"What's your name, son?" The officer asked, taking hold of a pen that lay on a nearby desk.

  
"Travis, Travis Phelps." 

  
"You need to fill out these forms. And you, you can go sit in the waiting room." He said, glancing at Sal. 

  
Sal nodded, giving Travis’s hand a small squeeze of reassurance before going to sit on a chair.

 

  
"Sorry for my colleague, anything that has to do with women gets him riled up lately." The man said with a light chuckle, handing Travis the pen. 

  
"His wife left him or something?" Travis asked with a small smile, glad to see that at least some cops weren't complete assholes. 

  
"Yeah... something like that."

  
"That sucks." He whispered, starting to fill out the forms. He didn't know much about his mother. He remembered her full name, that was pretty much it. But he still tried to give as much information as possible, the hand holding the pen a bit shakier than usual. 

  
"You all right there?" The officer asked as he sat down in front of him. 

 

  
"Huh? Yeah. I'm fine, sir." He said in the quietest voice, clearing his throat. 

  
"I have to tell you that it's not guaranteed that we will find her today. It might take a while." The man added after a moment, scratching at the stubble he was sporting on his chin.

  
"I know. I can wait." He said, frowning as he noticed all the forms he hadn't completed. He realized then that he knew pretty much nothing relevant about his mother. "I think I'm done." 

  
"All right," The man sighed and collected the sheets of paper, giving Travis another smile. "Go sit with your friend while you wait. Also- what's up with the mask?" 

  
"It's a prosthetic." Travis clarified, smiling back. 

 

 

  
He found Sal sitting with his prosthetic face in his hands, kicking the air with his feet- that didn't reach the ground, by the way. Travis thought it was adorable, how small he was.

  
“I'm done with the forms. Now we just have to wait." 

  
Sal looked up, motioning Travis to sit next to him and laying his head on his shoulder once he had complied.

  
"I'm glad you decided to get help. It was brave of you." 

  
Travis swallowed hard, looking down at his lap. "I'm afraid that they won't find her. And if they do, what about father? Will I have to move?"

  
"They will find her, and don't worry about your father right now." 

  
Travis nodded, reaching out for Sal's hand and slowly intertwining their fingers. "Thanks, Sal."

 

 

The boys just sat there in comfortable silence, their intertwined hands resting on Travis's thigh. 

  
Under other circumstances, Travis would have hated being interrupted. However, when he saw another officer approach them about an hour later, he immediately stood up, letting go of Sal's hand. 

  
"I think we found her. Come with me, so you can talk to her." He said, pointing to the counter with his head. 

  
"Talk... talk to her?" Travis stuttered out, his legs jelly once again.

  
"Yes. We managed to contact her. Do you want to make her wait?" 

  
Travis shook his head vigorously, not looking back at Sal as he followed the officer into a darker room. Travis had never seen so many computers in the same room before. 90's technology, he figured.

 

  
When he was given the phone, he took it with shaky hands, taking a deep breath before bringing it up closer to the side of his face. 

  
_"Travis?"_ The voice was familiar, it felt warm against his ear, for how weird that might sound. Travis's heart skipped a beat and he closed his eyes. 

  
"Mother?" 

  
He could hear the woman on the other line sob, and that was enough to make his stomach drop. 

  
_"Travis, I'm so sorry. I'm coming to get you, all right?"_

  
Travis sniffled, wiping his eyes with his sleeve. "Okay." Was all he could manage to say, he didn't want to cry. He should have been happy. 

  
_"They already gave me your position. Just stay where you are, it might take a while."_

  
"Okay." 

  
_"Don't cry mijo, I'll talk to you when I get there. Don't stress. I love you."_

  
Travis was speechless, and he handed the phone back to the officer after a moment. "Was it her?" 

  
"Yes. Thank you. Thank you so much, officer." 

  
The man went to place a hand on Travis's shoulder, causing him to visibly flinch. "Just doing my job, son. She lives in Nauvoo, by the way. I know you’re excited, but it's a two hours car ride from here, so I suggest you calm down." 

  
Travis nodded, but he couldn’t quite stop the tears that rolled down his cheeks. He did his best to hide them, though.

  
"We told her to bring her divorce papers so we can actually check if she's allowed to take you, but she already told me that her and your father have joint custody. I’m pretty sure that you'll be going home with her tonight." 

  
Travis nodded again, that was all he could do. What he was feeling was... definitely overwhelming. He could say he had never felt this way before. 

 

  
He was euphoric, and as soon as the officer left he ran back to the waiting room, finding Sal standing there and pulling him into a hug. 

  
"They found her. She's alive, she's coming, Sal." He whispered, his voice muffled by the Sal's shirt as he buried his face in the crook of his neck. 

  
"I told you they'd find her." Sal said, wrapping his own arms around Travis and gently stroking his back. "It's okay to cry, don't hold it in, man." 

  
Travis sobbed at those words, and he tightened his grip around Sal instinctively, like he could just vanish if he didn't hold him hard enough.

 

  
While they sat and waited, Sal whispered sweet things into Travis's ear, making him chuckle now and then as he nuzzled the side of his neck. They made sure that no one was around before Sal's hands could tangle themselves in the other's blond hair, knowing how much he loved it when people played with it.

  
"Poor Larry, he's probably wondering what the fuck is taking so long." Travis whispered, smiling as he rested his head on Sal's shoulder.

  
"Knowing him he probably went to explore the town. He knows how to take care of himself." 

  
"I know." The blond shrugged, his gaze fixed on Sal. "I'm glad you're here." 

  
Sal smiled under his prosthetic, meeting his gaze. "I'm glad I'm here." 

 

  
Travis exhaled, worrying his bottom lip with his teeth. "I want to kiss you so bad right now." He said, and Sal was sure that if his face hadn't been so fucked up, he would have been blushing all shades of red. 

  
"Yeah?" He asked, his hand finding Travis's thigh. He almost laughed at how flustered that made him, and Travis forced himself to look away. "Will you call me later? I want to know what your new family is like." 

  
Travis nodded, "Sure, if you give me your number, I-" The words got stuck in his throat as Sal moved his hand farther up his thigh, and he could almost see his shit-eating grin behind his prosthetic.

  
"Of course, could you get me a pen?" He asked, pulling his hand away and twirling a strand of his blue hair in between his fingers. 

 

  
Travis immediately stood and walked up to the counter, getting the pen he had used earlier before going back to Sal. 

  
Sal took hold of it and gently grabbed Travis's arm, writing his home phone number on his palm. "All done." 

  
"Are you sure you want to wait here? It's getting late, and it's probably going to take another hour, if I'm lucky."

  
Sal shrugged, putting the pen aside. "I think I'll go check on Larry.. it really is getting late."

  
"Don't worry about me Sal, you can go home."

  
"But I know I'll miss you." He murmured, earning a soft smile from Travis. 

  
"Me too, but I'll call you later. You've done so much for me already, I don't want you to drive back home in the dark." 

  
Sal sighed, eventually nodding. "Okay, okay." He stood up, pressing his fingers to the lips of his prosthetic, then placing them on Travis's own bruised lips. "Don't forget to call me."

  
"I won't." Travis muttered against Sal's fingertips, smiling as the other pulled away. "I'll see you on Monday." 

  
"Monday." Sal hummed, turning around and shooting Travis one last glance before walking out of the police station. 

 

  
Travis sighed as he basically melted into his seat. If this wasn't love he didn't know what else to name it. 

  
He buried his face in his hands and smiled. This was all so new. This was all so different. 

 

  
Now all he had to do was wait.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The city mentioned is Nauvoo because I headcanon Nockfell to be somewhere in Illinois. But it won't be too relevant for the story, anyways.
> 
> Kudos and comments are always appreciated <3


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things can always get better.

Now that Sal was gone, Travis was sweating buckets. Every second of every minute was torture. He had been left alone with his thoughts, and that became too much to bear, even for him. 

 

  
_What will she think when she sees me?_

  
_She left for a reason,_ he thought. _She doesn't like you._

_  
She'll think you're a disappointment._

_  
She'll probably send you back to him._

 

  
He wiped the sweat off his forehead, thinking. He didn't know much about his mother when it came to details about her personal life, but he remembered what living with her was like. The family picture that hung on his bedroom's wall always reminded him how much of a sweet and beautiful woman she was.

  
Her name was Beatriz. His dad used to call her Beatrice, and Travis knew that she hated it when he did.

  
She was so young, but she used to look so tired all the time. Exhausted, even. But she had always been there for Travis, no matter what.

 

  
She used to read him bedtime stories and sing him to sleep when he was a kid.

Whenever they went to church she'd hold his hand, and when he was forced into the Children's Choir Program she'd hug him and wish him good luck before every performance.

  
She was a Christian, but she didn't force her beliefs on him as much as his father did. She never told him to pray, because she knew that Travis would have done it if he really wanted to. 

  
She'd always cook amazing meals, Travis actually looked forward to Sundays. After church they'd all eat together. And despite the stony silence caused by his father's presence, he couldn't remember feeling threatened, because she was there. 

 

  
That is before he turned eight. At that age, he started realizing that having your parents argue every night wasn't normal. He started realizing that the bruises on his mother's body weren't caused by harmless domestic accidents.

  
He understood that his father had created a false image of their family for other people to see and admire, but things were different behind closed doors.

 

  
After Travis had been moved to a private Christian school, he was too focused on his own pain to understand his mother's. She was all he had, but despite being there physically, she wasn't really there. She didn't look like the woman who had given him life anymore.

 

  
He knew that his parents were divorcing at that point, but things had been awfully fast and quiet, and no one was telling him anything.

  
He just remembered his mother pulling him into a tight embrace one night, slipping her golden cross necklace around his neck and telling him that they were going to see each other soon.

  
Only to leave and never be seen again. 

  
He waited for her to come visit him every day. Only once he had tried to ask his father about her. It didn't go well, so he never did it again. 

 

  
Once he had gotten to middle school, he tried to stop thinking about her. He wasn't a kid anymore, and he started noticing how much he was changing. He wasn't the positive, outgoing kid he used to be. He felt less and less every day, to the point that he feared not recovering. 

  
But then he got to high school. He was a sophomore when he met Sal Fisher, and if he didn't have a good reputation before, the hell he started putting Sal through definitely wasn't helping him create a better image of himself. 

 

  
But unlike the other kids, Sal didn't react to all the teasing and unrequited violence. He was different, and making fun of him wasn't satisfying. It wasn't enough for Travis, who just wanted to let his anger out without hurting himself. 

  
But he kept doing it. Making Sal trip with his tray in hand, slamming him against his locker, throwing insults his way- it didn't matter. It was some kind of obsession he had developed for that blue-haired boy who looked way too feminine for his own good and that made Travis's insides twist.

  
But now he was a senior, and things had changed. He had changed. Travis was starting to feel alive again. 

 

  
It was because of Sal that he had found the courage to contact his mother. He was sure of the fact that without him he would have never done it. And he missed him so much, he just wanted to hold him close until they could both forget about the world.

  
But by getting rid of his father he was a step closer to a happier life with Sal, and that made him smile.

 

  
Then, the moment he was looking forward to but dreading at the same time came, and he found himself facing his mother. 

  
He hadn't realized it was her when she first walked in the police station.  
She looked so much healthier. She wasn't as skinny as Travis remembered her to be. Her face wasn't as pale, her arms and hands were free of injuries, but full of bracelets and pretty rings.

  
Her hips were accentuated by the purple knee-long dress she was wearing, her tanned skin almost matching Travis's.  
Her dark, wavy hair was longer than it used to be, and it run wild and free down her back. She was different but the same, in a way.

 

  
Travis froze up, he couldn't move for what felt like ages. They were studying each other, and they were both incredulous, that was obvious.

  
He couldn't see or say anything at that point. He just stood up and ran until he found himself trapped in the same embrace he had been pulled into almost eight years prior. Their last hug.

 

  
He sobbed uncontrollably as he felt a soothing hand run across his back. It made him feel warm, and safe. It was the warmth and safety he had been craving for years.

  
When he came back to his senses his vision was blurry, salty tears making his face feel sticky, but he could still hear the woman speak. God, how he had missed her voice.

  
"It's okay..." She whispered, pressing a kiss to Travis's forehead. Her lips weren't chapped anymore, they were soft and plump, and Travis felt like a ten-year-old kid all over again.

 

  
They must have been standing like that for a few minutes, because Travis's arms started to ache, but he didn't care. He didn't want to pull away. She smelled exactly the same, too. She didn’t smell like flowers or fancy soap, it was just that distinct fragrance that reminded Travis of his childhood.

The memories came flooding back and he just kept crying, allowing himself to be held for a few more minutes.

  
But they did have to pull away, eventually. And for once he didn't bother wiping the tears, he couldn't bring himself to care. Like Sal would always say, it was okay to cry. 

 

  
He just stood there as his mother showed the policemen her divorce papers, proving that she actually had custody of Travis and that she had the right to take him home.

  
It had taken a while, but they were done. Travis didn't know what to say, his throat felt like it had closed up around his vocal cords.

  
"Travis... how are you feeling?" She asked, and she had to crane her neck a bit to look up at him. Travis remembered when he was the one who had to do that in order to look at her.

  
"I'm... I'm fine. How are you?"

  
"I'm great." She smiled, tears welling up in her own eyes as she took a minute to look at him. "You've grown so much. You're such a handsome boy." 

  
He smiled at that, looking away to keep himself from crying again. "Are... are we going home?" He asked. "I know it's a lot to ask. But... I'd like to go get my stuff first." 

  
The woman nodded, pulling Travis into another tight hug, to which he responded quite willingly.   
"Anything for you. Let's get out of here now."

 

  
They did, and Travis was still incredulous. Maybe he still had to realize that his mother was alive, and that she was going to take care of him from now on. 

  
After getting into the car, Travis buckled himself up, preparing himself mentally for the ride to Nockfell. He really didn't want to see his father, but he needed to get his belongings.

 

  
"You might... have some questions, I presume." Beatriz asked after a few minutes of awkward silence.

  
Travis turned his head to look at her. He still couldn't believe she was there, in flesh and bones. It wasn't a dream. "Where were you all this time?" 

  
The woman sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose with her fingers. "After your father and I divorced, I moved out of town. I had no money, no place to stay... I thought he could take care of you in a way that I couldn't."

  
Travis nodded lightly, looking away. "Did you ever think of me?" 

  
"I think about you all the time, _mijo_... but you never wrote me back, I assumed you didn't want anything to do with me."

 

  
His eyebrows furrowed, and his gaze met hers once again. "Wrote you back? What do you mean?" 

  
"The letters." She explained, "The ones I sent you every week. After seeing that you weren't sending any back, I thought..."

  
"I never got any letters from you." Travis murmured, clenching and unclenching his fists in his lap.

  
Beatriz sucked her bottom lip in her mouth, lightly tapping her fingers against the steering wheel. "That _hijo de puta_ must have taken them instead of giving them to you." She said through gritted teeth, "I'm sorry, I understand why you would think I forgot about you.

  
Her words made something snap inside of Travis, and he wasn't sad or agitated anymore. He was angry. "What a fucking asshole." 

  
"I know you're mad, but I'll ask him about the letters, you just go to your room and get your stuff." His mother said quickly, taking a deep breath. "We don't want him to blow up on us." 

 

Travis nodded, trying to keep his anger under control. For a moment, he wondered if they were going to be able to handle his father.

 

 

* * *

 

 

  
When the door opened, Travis immediately met his father's eyes. And _oh_ , how satisfying it was to see him go pale at the sight of Travis's mother standing beside him.

  
"...Beatrice?" He didn't look agitated, but he was clearly surprised. Travis had never heard him stutter before.

  
"I'm not here to talk. Travis is coming with me, he's here to get his stuff." She said, her dark eyes meeting the man's even darker ones.

 

  
Just like that, she gently placed a hand on Travis's shoulder, silently telling him to be fast. The boy simply nodded, avoiding his father's gaze as he walked past him and up the stairs.

  
His heart was hammering in his chest as he walked into his bedroom. He started thinking about what to take and not to take, and he moved his chair closer to his closet so he could reach the top of it and grab his suitcase.

  
It was a black suitcase with a big cross printed on it. It had been given to Travis for church camp, and he had never used it for other occasions. _Well, this is an occasion._

  
He carelessly tossed it on the bed, then started folding his clothes and placing them inside. For once he thanked the Lord for not having too many pieces of clothing. He could have still bought prettier ones after moving.

 

  
After he was done with that, he grabbed every bag he owned, including his school bag. He took all his textbooks and school supplies, filling two whole bags. He also inspected every drawer in the room, making sure not to leave anything behind. 

  
He had to think about it for a minute, but he decided not to take his Theology-related books with him. He did take his Bible, though, placing it with the rest of his textbooks.

  
After taking a deep breath, he took hold of his bags and suitcase, starting to walk back downstairs.

 

  
_"What are you going to do after he's settled down? He'll show you just how much of a failure he is."_

  
_"Don't talk about my son like that."_

  
_"Suddenly, he's your son. That's funny."_ Travis could hear his father chuckle, and it made him grimace. _"Beatrice. You know I'm making you a favor by keeping him here."_

  
_"I can't let him stay. I thought he was going to be okay, but you're sick."_

  
_"You said you didn't care about him."_

 

  
Travis stopped in his tracks when he heard that, standing by the staircase as he listened to the conversation in the distance. He could see part of his mother's face, and she looked distressed.

  
"That's because he reminds me of you! I can't stand seeing him because of what you've done to me, you fucking psychopath." 

  
Travis took a step forward, walking into the room and swallowing hard. "Mom?" 

 

  
The woman's eyes widened, and her lips curled up in a sad smile. "Travis, _mijo_." She whispered, holding out a hand. "Are... are you ready to go?" 

  
"Is that true?" Travis asked before he could stop himself. When he saw his father smile, he wished hadn't asked.

  
"No, no. I'm just mad, baby. Let's go home." She insisted, her smile now clearly forced.

  
"Why don't you tell him what you did when you were pregnant with him?" His father sighed and took a step towards her. "Show him how much you care." 

 

  
Travis instinctively stepped in between them, giving the man a glare. "Lay one finger on her and I'll kill you." 

  
That sentence seemed to catch everyone's attention, especially his father's. "What did you just say?" 

  
"You heard me." He spat, "We're not your ragdolls anymore."

  
The man just kept smiling, and Travis thought it was a sick thing to do. He had to admit, deep down he was scared shitless. "Travis, you're being dramatic. But I should have expected that. That's all you do."

  
"Dramatic? I gave you so many chances, I thought you loved me. Because that's what fathers are supposed to do."

  
"I did what I did to protect you." 

  
"You don't care about my protection. You- you just don't get it, do you?" Tears threatened to spill from Travis's eyes, but he did his best to keep it in. He wouldn't give his father that kind of satisfaction. 

  
The man didn't move, he just stood there with same emotionless expression. "It's discipline. You're too sensitive for your own good. If only your mother-"

 

  
"Don't bring her into this!" Travis basically yelled, even surprising himself. "This is your fault. Yours. Don't blame it on me, and especially don't blame it on her."  
He was angry, and the thing that made him even angrier was that his father didn't seem to care. It was like he wasn't taking him seriously. "I'm done with this." 

  
The man said nothing for a moment, but just as Travis was about to leave, he placed a hand on his shoulder. "You're going to regret this, son."

 

  
Useless to say, Travis saw red. And for the first time in his life he reacted, turning around and swatting his hand away. "Don't fucking call me that!" 

  
"Travis..." His mother tried to interfere, but Travis didn't budge. 

  
"I'd rather be a fucking faggot, a sinner, a failure and all the shit you call me than be like you." He said, and now he was the one smiling. This was it. He was letting it all out, and _fuck_ did it feel good. "You know who else God doesn't like? judgemental assholes who beat their wives and children."

  
He then felt a light, shaky hand on his arm. "Travis, let's just go." 

  
"If there is an afterlife, I wouldn't mind going to hell knowing you'd be there, too." He said, pulling his arm away. The way his father's expression changed made his smile widen. He looked conflicted, and it felt great. "You're scared, aren't you? You act so tough, but you're scared of the God you preach."

 

  
When he felt a rough hand on his cheek, it didn't even hurt as much as it usually did, despite a lot of force being put into it. 

  
He knew that it was going to bruise, but he didn't care. 

  
"Adriel!" Beatriz cried out, placing her hands on the tall man's chest and pushing him away, effectively making him stumble back a bit.

  
"Mom. It's fine." Travis murmured, pulling her back and rubbing the side of his face, looking up at the man standing in front of him. "I'm not your son. You're not my father. Fuck you." 

 

  
"She sent no letters. She never wanted you in the first place." Adriel said quickly, but he wasn't smiling at that point. The emotionless expression was back. "Do you really think she cares about you, now? You're just another way to get money." 

  
"You're a liar. You're a fucking liar." Travis said shakily, glancing at his mother for a moment. "Mom?" 

  
"Let's just go. I'll explain everything later, let's just go now." She begged him, tears welling up in the corners of her eyes. Travis then understood that it was really time to go.

  
He decided not to look back, he simply walked out, his mother following him suit.

 

  
He was quick to toss his stuff in the car trunk, then hopped into the passenger's seat. He just wanted to get out of there.

  
He looked out of the window, and he felt his chest tighten as his mother drove past Addison Apartments. 

  
He missed Sal so much.

 

  
"Is it true? What he said." He asked suddenly, and he could notice how tense his mother looked after that question. When she said nothing, he sighed. "Mother. My whole life... I've been asking myself questions. And now that I can get answers, I'm not going to stop asking you." He murmured, "Do this for me. Please." 

  
Beatriz sighed in resignation, nodding. "When your father and I got married, I did not want a child. But he did." She started, "He always talked about how much he wanted a son. I never understood why, he talked about continuing the legacy." 

  
"What was it that he was talking about? When you got pregnant with me." 

  
"I got pregnant three times before having you. Every time, it was a girl." She swallowed hard before continuing, "He always made me... get rid of them. He didn't care how. He just wanted them gone." 

 

  
"What the fuck?" 

  
"When I got pregnant with you, you were our first boy. He was excited." She said, and Travis could tell that she was holding back tears. "But he is a sick man, Travis. I knew he was going to turn your life into a living hell. I didn't want to put you through that." 

  
Travis remained quiet, just leaning back against his seat as he tried to process her words.

  
"But he found out before I could do anything. He got me hospitalized for five months... until I gave birth to you." A choked sob escaped her throat, and Travis's eyes widened with worry.

  
"Mom... I'm so sorry you had to go through all that." He said sincerely, placing a soft hand on her forearm. "Couldn't you get him arrested?"

  
"There's something wrong with the police in that town." She mumbled, wiping her eyes with her sleeve. "They cover up everything to avoid outrage. And your dad is a respected man there, for some reason." 

  
"He's not my dad." Travis whispered angrily. "I don't want to ever see him again. If I do, I'll probably break his face." 

  
"I'm not letting him come near you again. It's okay to move on, I did." She said after a minute, and Travis nodded. 

 

  
After maybe half an hour of uncomfortable silence, Travis spoke up again. "Tell me about your life now." 

  
Beatriz blinked at the question. "I'm not sure how you're going to take this, but it's not just you and me now." She sighed. "I have a fiancé. His name is Jose." 

  
"Oh... Is he nice?" 

  
"Yeah, he's the sweetest man I've ever met." She said, smiling as she focused on the road.

  
Travis nodded to himself, turning away and looking out of the window. The sky was dark, but no stars were visible. He loved car rides at night. "How did you two meet?" 

  
"When I first moved to Nauvoo, I was looking for jobs everywhere. It's a small town, so I met him when I was working at a bar."

  
"Random customer stole your heart?" Travis snickered.

  
"No, he was the boss."

  
He raised his eyebrows, shooting her a knowing look. "Wow, ma. 'Basic' was never your thing, was it?" 

  
"You know how south Americans are, and it's so rare to find any here." 

  
Travis snorted, leaning his head against the window. 

 

  
"Our house isn't too big, but it's home, and..." She hesitated for a moment, "We have a daughter." 

  
"Daughter?" Travis asked quickly, almost choking on his words.

  
"Her name's Amanda. She turned three a few months ago." 

  
"That's... that's cool." He murmured, picking at his fingernails. He tried so hard not to think about how happy his mother had probably been after giving birth to her, now that she was with someone she loved. But he figured that she was allowed to be happy after everything she had been through. 

  
"You're going to be a great brother."

  
Travis smiled, looking down at his lap. "Thanks, mom."

 

 

* * *

 

 

  
"Travis, wake up. We're here." Travis felt a hand gently shake his shoulder, and he jolted awake. He had fallen asleep, and the three-hours car ride had felt like a twenty minutes nap. 

  
"Sorry. I'm just... tired."

  
"It's okay." Beatriz said, motioning him to get out of the car.

  
The house was, well... a lot smaller than Travis’s back in Nockfell. At least from the outside, it looked abandoned. But the lights on the inside were on, and he held onto the strap of his backpack tightly. "Is this it?" 

  
"I know it looks horrible from the outside, but it's better on the inside, I promise." She reassured him with a small smile. Travis glanced around, it looked like they lived in the middle of nowhere. He knew Nauvoo was a small town, but it kind of freaked him out.

  
He followed his mother to the front porch, letting his luggage fall to the ground as he heard the door getting unlocked. 

 

  
As soon as they had stepped inside, Travis was hit by an unfamiliar feeling. The whole room seemed to be surrounded by a warm, yellowy light. The atmosphere was different, but nice. He felt welcome in there.

  
"I'm home!" Beatriz said, smiling as a little kid ran towards them, basically jumping into her arms. "You're getting heavy, _mamá_ almost can't pick you up." 

 

  
The little kid was a girl, like Beatriz had said. Her skin tone matched her mother's perfectly, and her hair was the same chocolate color, but a lot curlier and shorter. Her eyes were big and shiny, and they screamed innocence. They were also strangely green, it wasn't a color that ran in the family. Travis figured that she must have taken it from her father.

  
"This is Amanda. Amanda, say hi to Travis." 

  
The kid instinctively wrapped her chubby arms around her mother's neck, hiding her face into her chest with a small giggle. "Hi..." 

  
"Hello, pretty lady." Travis said, giving her a small wave. "She's adorable." 

  
Soon, a man stepped into the room, and Travis’s body tensed up instantly as he gave him a good look. He was so much shorter than his father. He was just slightly taller than Beatriz, who quite obviously didn’t reach Travis's height.

  
The man was wearing a black tank top, showing off his tattooed biceps and forearms. There were mostly roses, skulls and Spanish quotes Travis didn't bother reading. He wasn’t a big fan of tattoos.  
His hair was curly and brown as well, but tied up in a man bun, so Travis couldn't exactly tell how long it was. He was sporting a short beard, and if he wasn't tall enough to look threatening, he was broad and somewhat muscular.  
He looked overall intimidating, but the soft smile on his round face told Travis that he had nothing to worry about.  
  
  
"This must be Travis." He said, his Spanish accent barely there. He held out a hand for Travis to shake, "I'm Jose, your mom's _novio_."

  
Travis hesitantly shook his hand, nodding. "Yeah, she told me about you." 

  
The man awkwardly retracted his hand, "Well, it's late, but we haven't had dinner yet. Come sit with us." He motioned towards the table. "It's not too fancy, but your mom's the good chef here." 

  
"Oh you, stop it." She chuckled, walking over to the red couch in the room and placing a sleepy-looking Amanda on it. 

 

 

  
Travis hadn't realized how hungry he was, and he immediately sat at the table, Beatriz and Jose doing the same. The lunchroom was so much smaller than the one he had back home, but Travis thought it was nice.

 

His mother then raised her hands to her face, and so did her boyfriend. Travis hesitated but eventually did as well, closing his eyes as he waited for someone to speak.

  
" _Te damos gracias Señor, por estos alimentos que nos diste y por la alegría de esta hora, que este alimento nos ayude a servirte de todo corazón te lo pedimos por Jesucristo nuestro Señor, amén._ " His mother was the one speaking, which was weird. His father always told him that the man of the family was supposed to say grace.

 

  
He shrugged the thought off, quickly taking a bite of the meatloaf slice that had been placed in his plate. What he felt was bliss, pure bliss. "It's good... It's really good." 

  
"Thanks." Jose said with a proud smile, and they all ate in comfortable silence after that.

 

  
It didn't take much for Travis to finish his meat and smoked potatoes, even eating a spoonful of boiled peas. He usually hated peas, but he was quite obviously in a good mood.

  
"Travis. Tell me a bit about yourself." The man's voice broke the silence, and Travis looked up in confusion.

  
"I'm... turning eighteen soon?" 

  
"Are you telling me, or is that a question?" Jose chuckled lightly, but he didn't look irritated. It was a sincere laugh, and it made Travis smile in embarrassment.

  
"I don't know what to say. I'm not an interesting person." 

  
"Don't say that. Literally, you can tell me anything." The man insisted, crossing his muscular arms over his chest.

 

  
Travis bit his lip, thinking about random topics. "I... go to Nockfell High, I'm going to graduate in a few weeks. I really like literature, but I suck at Math."

  
"Literature? We've got a future writer." The man hummed, earning a smile from Beatriz.

  
"I mean... I'm definitely going to take English Literature classes in college."

  
"That's amazing, Travis. It's good that you have a passion." His mother said, placing her empty plates aside. "I'm sorry I have to tell you this now, but I'm afraid you'll have to sleep on the couch tonight. But don't worry, we'll get the stuff out of the studio tomorrow so you'll be able to sleep there.

  
"Oh, it's really no problem. I'll sleep anywhere. I don't want to be a burden." Travis said quickly, fiddling with his fingers under the table.

  
"You're not a burden, _mijo_ , okay? We'll make enough room for you, even if you'll leave for college in a few months." She said and slowly stood up, starting to collect their plates and pieces of cutlery. "That... by the way, I know nothing about." 

  
"Fath- Adriel signed me up for NF University. It wasn't too expensive and they accepted me immediately, so... I'll stick with that." He said, standing up immediately and taking hold of the plates. "Wait, let me do it." 

  
"You're such a gentleman." She said with the biggest smile. "Jose, can you take Amanda to bed? I'll take care of the dishes." 

 

  
"I'll do the dishes." Travis interrupted her as he placed everything in the sink, not letting her protest. "You both look tired, you should go get some rest." 

  
Beatriz hesitated, but then nodded and pulled him into a loose hug. "Thank you, _mijo_."

  
Travis sighed happily, wrapping his own arms around the shorter woman. "Mom, one more thing. Could I... use the phone, later?" 

  
"Worried about your boyfriend?" She asked with a smug smile, and Travis short-circuited for a moment. 

  
"I- no, it's just... it's just friends, mom."

  
"I'm just joking around, of course you can. Just not for too long, okay? It's getting late." She said, pulling away from the hug and tilting her head to the side. 

  
"Sure. Thanks, mom." He said, crossing his arms over his chest. Saying that word felt so good. "Goodnight." 

  
"I'll get you a blanket and some pillows for the night. _Buenas noches_." She murmured, then quietly walked out of the room with Jose and their daughter.

 

 

* * *

 

 

  
  
Travis stood by the corner of the room, where the telephone was. It was yellow and attached to the wall, bit worn out, but he thought it was pretty anyways. His father never let him use the phone back home.  _Stop thinking about him._

  
He took hold of the receiver and glanced at his palm, dialing the smudged number written on it and listening to the unfamiliar buzzing sound, until it eventually stopped.

  
_"Hello?"_

  
"Sal. It's Travis. Sorry for calling so lat-" 

  
_"Travis!"_ Sal's voice made Travis's heart jump in his throat. He wondered how he managed to do that. _"Where are you? How are you? How is it there? Are they being good to you?"_  

  
Travis chuckled at the multitude of questions, shaking his head lightly. "I'm fine, and they're amazing. I am in Nauvoo, and I have a little sister now." 

  
_"Are you for real?"_

  
"Yeah." He murmured, "Her name's Amanda, and she's adorable. My mom's boyfriend isn't a prick, surprisingly. He's sweet and he treats her well." 

  
_"Man, I'm so happy for you."_

 

  
"I'm happy too." He said, biting his bottom lip at the sudden silence. "I snapped at my dad when I went to get my stuff, you know." 

  
_"What did you say to him?"_

  
"I told him that I'd rather be a faggot than be like him, and that I'll see him in hell anyways." 

  
_"Fuck! That's amazing."_ He could hear the excitement in Sal's voice as he spoke. _"I would have loved to see his face."_

  
"It was a fucking sight. It was liberating, to say the least." 

  
_"I'm glad you put the asshole in his place."_

  
"Me too." He said with a small smile, fiddling with the telephone cord. 

  
_"So... are you like- moving schools or something?"_ Sal asked after a minute, making Travis snap out of his haze.

  
"That'd be impossible, school year's almost over. I just want to graduate so I can get out of that shithole." 

  
_"Ah, I see."_

 

  
The blond then sighed, reconsidering his words. "I mean, that's what I used to think. Now leaving Nockfell sounds horrible." 

  
_"Why is that?"_

  
"I like it here, but I'd miss you." He said, his heartbeat slowly increasing. "I'd miss you guys." 

  
_"I know you'd miss me the most, you don't have to hide it."_ Sal said smugly, _"We made out in a car."_

  
Travis had to keep himself from gasping, and he pushed the receiver closer to his ear instinctively. "Larry's car! You could have gotten us caught." 

  
_"You liked it."_

  
"You're unbelievable." He scoffed, leaning against the wall.

  
_"And you're hot, sue me."_ Sal hummed, and Travis's eyes widened in surprise. His crush had just called him hot, that was something. _"Was that too much?"_

  
"No, no. I'm just..." He stumbled over his words for a moment. "Gay-panicking." 

  
_"Gay-panicking?"_

  
"It's like panicking, but when you're too gay to function." He murmured, frowning as Sal laughed on the other line. 

  
_"Oh, my God."_ He snorted loudly, _"Travis Phelps is gay for me."_

 

  
Travis felt his face heat up, and he was sure that he was going to break the phone cord if he kept pulling on it. "Shut up, Sally Face."

  
_"What? I'm hella gay for you, too."_ He said, and Travis bit down on his lip hard, covering his face with his hand as if anyone could see how flustered he was.

  
"I've got to go. I'll call you tomorrow." 

  
Sal sighed, _"All right. See you."_

  
"Wait." Travis said quickly, taking a deep breath. "Thank you. Thank you so much. I wouldn't have been here now without your help."

  
_"It's no problem, Travis. I'll always be there for you."_ He could almost feel the smile in his voice. It made Travis smile as well.

  
"I'll hold you to that."

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a long one, and I hope it's not too boring to read. I'd love to hear your thoughts,  
> kudos and comments are always appreciated :) have a nice day.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating and tags have changed, there’s smut in this chapter.
> 
> It is also my first time publishing anything of the sort, so forgive me if it’s not perfect. I just wrote it in a way I was comfortable with, and I really hope you’ll like it. :)

The first Sunday in Travis's new household had been great. 

  
He hadn't expected to wake up to the amazing smell of his mother's cooking, and he hadn't expected to actually sit with the rest of the family and have breakfast with them, either.

  
He usually hated having to spend time with his family back when he lived with his father, but he was starting to realize that spending time with people who care about you can make your day a lot better.

  
Then they went to church, and despite being anxious, Travis got to meet a lot of lovely people. The community wasn't like Nockfell's at all, and he was glad, because he was looking forward to a fresh start. He wasn't sure about his beliefs at that point, but going to church didn't scare him as much now that his father wasn't there.

 

  
In the evening Travis and his mother talked about how he was supposed to get to Nockfell every day for school. It was a pretty long ride, and changing schools was impossible at that point.

  
Beatriz obviously didn't have a spare car for Travis to drive, but she was willing to pay for his train ticket every day until his graduation. 

  
Travis didn't like living so far from his school and friends, but he reminded himself that it was better than what he had before. 

 

  
After dinner he called Sal like he had promised, and they both talked about their day.  
When Travis told him about the transportation problem, Sal immediately suggested that he spend every weekend at this place to spare some money. Travis wasn't sure if his mother would have let him, but he appreciated Sal's thoughtfulness.

  
Travis hadn't noticed how long they had been talking on the phone. What that made him realize it had been Jose jokingly complaining about the phone bill.

 

 

  
Travis was anxious, he couldn't stop thinking. He thought about his father, his grades, graduation, his relationship with Sal- useless to say, he didn't sleep that night. 

  
He ended up getting up earlier than he was supposed to. After getting dressed he took hold a piece of paper, then wrote a small note for his mother.

  
_'Left early for the train, I don't want to be late. See you tonight_  
_love, Travis.'_

  
And just like that he walked to the nearest train station, then bought a train ticket to Nockfell. The place was pretty much empty, but it didn't surprise him at all. He just sat down and enjoyed the silence, until he noticed a train arriving to his track. He hopped in, showing the driver his ticket before finding a seat next to the exit.

  
It was almost a three hours ride, considering that he couldn't afford a faster one. He so desperately wanted to take a nap but he managed not to, not wanting to miss his stop.

  
After arriving to Nockfell, he had to walk for a good twenty minutes to get to school. He didn't realize how exhausting of a trip it had been, he was just happy that he had gotten there safe and sound.

 

  
Then he saw Sal. It was impossible not to see him, he stood out everywhere he went. He didn't think about other students possibly seeing them as he ran towards him and pulled him into a hug, catching him by surprise.

  
After holding each other for a minute he finally pulled away, and he hugged Larry as well, not wanting to make the situation awkward. Despite Travis's worries, the metalhead looked genuinely happy for him, and he didn't mind the hug. 

 

  
Monday flew by really fast. Travis fell asleep during Math class, but that wasn't new. He didn't interact with Sal that much, but the atmosphere was so much lighter than before, and as soon as he encountered Ashley and Todd in the hallway, he got bombarded with questions about his new family. 

  
And before Travis could leave to get to the train station, once everyone had left, Sal managed to sneak in a small kiss. It made Travis melt right there and then, and despite wanting more, he had to get home. So they waved each other goodbye with the promise of seeing each other the next day.

 

  
And they did. Tuesday was no different, but Travis was clearly more tired than usual. He had pulled an all-nighter to study, and Sal had let him nap against his shoulder during lunch period. The kiss after school was still quick and gentle, the boys both hated having to say goodbye.

 

  
On Wednesday Travis looked like he had actually managed to get some sleep. He had even held Sal's hand in the hallway for a good ten seconds without pulling away. Sal looked impatient, but he could understand why Travis would want to avoid any public displays of affection for a while. He always understood.

 

  
On Thursday, the ten seconds of hand-holding became twenty, and Travis pulled away only when he felt like it was too much. They still kissed every day after school though, and Sal told him that it was all right, and that he would have waited as much as Travis needed him to.

 

  
On Friday, Travis also brought a bag with some clothes to school, because he had managed to convince his mother to let him stay at Sal's for the weekend. They were both excited, they had never spent so many days in a row together. 

 

  
"So, what's the plan for today?" Travis asked, taking hold of Sal's hand as they stood in front of the old apartment building. His bags were heavy on his shoulders, but he didn't care. Being with Sal made him feel so good nothing else mattered.

  
"Honestly, I just want to spend time with you. We could play some board games, or watch TV." Sal said, using his keys to open the door before stepping inside with Travis. Travis couldn't believe he had been so lucky to find someone who genuinely wanted to spend time with him. It made him feel special.

  
They quietly got into the elevator and reached the fourth floor, then walked into Sal's apartment. Travis raised his eyebrows questioningly when he saw Gizmo sitting on the couch, watching TV like it was a basic cat thing to do. Sal giggled and dragged him to his bedroom, shutting the door closed. 

 

  
"Wanna watch TV?" He asked, pulling at his plastic hair ties and shaking his head, letting his long hair fall down his shoulders. He smiled when he noticed that Travis was staring, and he playfully tossed him his hair ties. "See something you like?"

  
Travis nodded, slowly bringing his hands up and starting to fiddle with the straps of Sal's prosthetic. When the shorter boy tensed up he immediately pulled his hands away, looking down at him apologetically. "I'm sorry, I thought I was allowed to do it."

  
"It's okay, just give me a moment." Sal murmured, turning away to unbuckle his prosthetic and place it on the bedside table. He didn't turn around immediately after taking it off, but Travis didn't point it out. He really just wanted Sal to feel comfortable around him.

  
"Can I braid your hair?" He asked, catching Sal's attention. "I'm not that good at it, but I'd like to get better."

  
"Of course." Sal smiled softly, now finally looking at him. He looked through his closet and found a small box which contained a generous amount of hairbands and hair clips. Most of them were blue and black, but he could also see some red and purple shades.

 

  
Sal turned the TV on for background noise, then sat down on the floor. Travis sat behind him and slowly parted his hair in two sides, then divided one part into three sections and started the braiding process. Sal quickly relaxed into his touch, even closing his eyes as a smile pulled at his lips. 

  
"You awake?" Travis murmured after he was done with the first braid, securing its end with a hairband.

  
"Yeah, this is nice... keep going." He said, tilting his head to the side slightly.

  
Travis nodded, eventually starting a new braid on the other side of Sal's head. "I still can't believe you forgave me... and that you really like me. I don't deserve you." 

  
"What are you talking about? Don't say that, it's a big turn-off."

  
"Well, I'm sorry." Travis scoffed, holding a black hairband with his mouth as he focused on his hand movements. 

  
"I believe in redemption, especially in your case. You did some fucked up shit, but you also tried to make up for it." Sal explained, resting a hand on Travis's thigh reassuringly.

  
Travis just smiled, and after a few minutes he was finally done with the braids. "You look beautiful." He said quietly, wrapping his arms around Sal's waist and placing a kiss on the back of his neck.

  
He smiled against Sal's skin as he felt him shiver, and the shorter boy soon pulled away, sitting up on his knees and smiling widely. "Now I braid your hair."

  
"I don't think mine's long enough, babe." He said, and from Sal's cheeky smile he could tell that he didn't mind the nickname.

  
"But you like it when I play with your hair." Sal responded, gently cupping Travis's face and pulling him into a kiss. It had been their first kiss of the day, and it seemed to melt Travis's worries away. "I'll make small braids."

  
"Okay, fine. Fine." Travis chuckled against Sal's lips, and they shifted positions so that Sal could sit beside him.

  
Sal patted his thigh, silently telling Travis to rest his head in his lap. The blond got the message and lay down on his side, closing his eyes as soon as Sal's fingers came in contact with his hair.

 

  
"You look so cute." Sal hummed after a good ten minutes, and Travis opened his eyes, feeling groggy and tired. Sal had made several small braids on his head, and even if Travis couldn't see them, he could feel the unfamiliar stretch on his scalp.

  
"Take that back." He scoffed, shifting so he could look at Sal.

  
"What?" 

  
"I'm not cute." He said with a fake frown, gasping when Sal placed a finger on his nose and made a 'boop' noise.

  
"But you are."

  
"Stop that."

  
Sal grinned, leaning back against his hands. "Or what, cutie?" 

 

  
Before he could say anything else his back hit the floor, and he gasped softly as he felt Travis's now soft lips on his own. Before he knew it, his hands had found Travis's hair, pulling him closer instead of pushing him away. 

  
"...Or you're gonna make out with me, I guess?" Sal chuckled quietly after pulling away for air, an almost inaudible noise leaving his scarred lips as Travis started placing small kisses down his neck.

  
"Stop being a smartass." He mumbled against Sal's skin.

  
"Or what?" Sal asked again, his grip on the other's dirty-blond hair tightening instinctively. 

 

  
Then they heard the front door unlock, and Travis was sure that he had never moved so fast in his life. He immediately got off of Sal who sat up as well, reaching out for his prosthetic frantically and quickly buckling it over his face.

  
"Sal, you in there?" He could recognize Larry's voice, and he took a breath of relief, standing up and opening the door.

  
"What the hell, Larry?" 

  
Larry smiled, pushing some of his long, somewhat greasy hair behind his shoulder as he noticed Travis sitting on the floor. "Did I interrupt something?" 

  
Travis's eyes widened and he ran both hands through his hair, getting rid of the braids mostly by tearing apart the small plastic hair ties. "He was... teaching me how to braid hair."

  
"Totally." Sal shrugged, "And I remember telling you that I was going to be busy today."

  
Larry thought for a moment, scratching the back of his neck. "Well, looks like I forgot."

  
"It's good to see that you listen to me."

  
Larry furrowed his thick eyebrows, raising his hands defensively. "Oh, come on. Ash is in the living room. It's 'Friday hang out' time." 

  
Sal shook his head, taking a step back. "I promised Travis that I was going to hang out with him today." 

  
"But he's staying the night, isn't he? You two got time." Larry said suggestively, and Travis found himself looking away. "Come on. Travis can come too, I got weed." 

  
"But I promised..."

  
Travis stood up, walking closer to them. "Sal, it's okay. It might be fun."

  
"See? Trav's got the spirit." Larry's smile widened, and he walked out of the room. "Stop being a whiny brat and come on."

 

  
Sal rolled his eye, and Travis could tell that he wasn't particularly excited about the whole situation.

  
"Are you okay?" He asked, placing a hand on the small of Sal's back. 

  
"Let's just get this over with."

 

 

* * *

 

 

  
Sal, Travis, Ashley and Larry sat on the wooden, dusty floor of Larry's tree house. It was some kind of tradition, hanging out and getting high on Fridays, and the group of friends looked comfortable in the environment. Well, everyone but Travis.

  
"I got beer. You guys want some?" Ashley asked, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear.

  
"Maybe later." Larry took a puff of his joint, smoke pooling out of his mouth as he passed it to Travis. 

  
Travis quickly shook his head, leaning his head back against the wall. "I'm good." 

 

Larry shrugged, "Sally?" When Sal shook his head as well, he frowned. "What's up with you?"

  
Travis could tell that the question had gotten him irritated. "I don't feel like getting high tonight, maybe?"

  
"Whatever, chill." Larry mumbled under his breath, taking another hit.

  
Sal sat up straight. "Say that again?"

  
"It's nothing, but you need to chill."

  
"I'm fucking chill." Sal scoffed, eyeing the joint. "Give me that." He mumbled and snatched it out of Larry's hand, lifting his prosthetic over his mouth so he could take a hit before handing it to Travis. "You want?"

  
"Like I said, I'm good." Travis said, forcing a smile.

  
"You're never gonna know what getting high feels like at this point, man." Larry smiled, his tooth gap showing. 

  
"I'm fine, really." He said, scratching his arm awkwardly. "You guys got a cigarette?"

 

  
The question seemed to catch everyone off guard. "Sure. Didn't know you smoked." Larry said, looking through his backpack and tossing Travis a cigarette. 

  
Travis caught it, looking at it for a moment before slipping it in between his lips. "I do, sometimes. I don't know why, keeps me relaxed."

  
"It's bull, nicotine just makes you more agitated. I stopped because of that." Ashley retorted, watching as Larry used his lighter to light up Travis's cigarette.

  
"Yeah, I've actually considered stopping as well." Larry agreed as he sat back.

  
"Don't, I need you to buy them for me." Travis's lip quirked, inhaling the smoke and exhaling through his nose.

 

  
At some point he felt a light weight on his shoulder, and when he turned his head he saw Sal leaning against him. He didn't think much of it, but when he looked back at Larry and Ashley he was met by knowing looks.

  
"So... have you guys gotten closer? You barely hang out with us these days." Ashley asked, absently fiddling with the sleeves of her purple sweater. 

  
"I've just... been busy with my new family, I don't have time to hang out with anyone. This weekend's an exception." He mumbled, tossing the butt of his cigarette out of the small window. 

  
"I see..." Larry hummed, "So, all good back home?"

  
"Yeah, yeah. It's pretty nice... I just want to graduate, man." Travis sighed, glancing at Sal. He couldn't tell whether he was listening or not.

  
Ashley nodded, "I feel you." 

  
"Have you been studying? Finals week is getting closer." Travis asked, bringing his knees up to his chest.

  
"Don't tell me about it." Larry shook his head, a lazy smile plastered on his face. Travis could tell the weed was doing its job.

  
"You guys complain, but I'm the one who's stuck in school for another year." Sal spoke up, pressing the side of his prosthetic face into Travis's arm. 

  
"You're strong, little man. You'll get through it." Larry said with an encouraging smile before turning to Ashley. "Since we're all graduating together, maybe we should host a graduation party."

 

  
"It's not like I have friends to invite." Travis chuckled lightly, taking hold of an opened can of beer and taking a sip.

  
"Just invite random people, maybe you'll actually get laid." Larry mused, chuckling as Travis choked on his drink, placing a hand over his mouth not to spit it out. 

  
Sal gasped dramatically, "That's a lot of shit-talking coming from a virgin."

  
"I'm just trying to help, and I'm not a virgin." Larry smiled smugly, taking hold of a can of beer as well.

  
"But you are." Ashley retorted, frowning when Larry said nothing in response. "You're lying. You would have told us earlier if you weren't."

  
"Yeah, right." Sal glared at Larry, "You shouldn't get high and drink at the same time, you know. You're going to throw up."

  
"I'm not getting drunk. It was just a sip."

  
"Yeah, Sal. What's up with you tonight?" Ashley asked, crossing her arms over her chest. 

  
"Can you stop acting like I'm the problem? You know I don't like it when you drink." Sal snarled, sitting up and moving away from Travis. 

  
Larry scowled. "You were fine with it last week, what the hell?"

  
"I just... don't feel well."

 

  
There was a moment of silence after that. "Do you want to talk about it?"

  
"You're not my therapist." Sal's reply seemed to have actually hit a sensitive spot, making Ashley grimace.

  
"Could you stop getting so defensive over everything?" She asked, furrowing her eyebrows as Sal stood up. 

  
"Sorry." He murmured, looking down at Travis. "I'm going back in. You coming?"

  
"Yeah, in a minute." Travis said with a preoccupied smile, watching as Sal climbed down the ladder and left. "Is he usually like this?

 

  
Ashley sucked her bottom lip in her mouth before speaking. "He can swing from one mood to another really fast."

  
Larry wasn't smiling anymore, either. "I don't usually drink around him, but he seemed to be okay with it lately, so..."

  
"I'll go check on him. I'm sure he's not mad at you."

  
"Yeah, I know he's not. He physically can't stay mad at me." Larry smiled as Travis stood up. "But... tell him that I'm sorry."

  
Travis nodded, waving his friends goodbye before leaving.

 

 

* * *

 

 

  
The boys had gotten back to Sal's apartment without saying a word. Travis certainly didn't know everything about Sal, but he knew that he had never behaved like that with his friends before. He couldn't help but wonder if it was his fault.

  
"Hey, what happened?" He asked as soon as they had walked inside, and Sal stiffened from head to toe. 

  
"I don't know." He whispered, turning around to face him. "Sometimes I don't feel like hanging out. But whenever they force me to go, it doesn't feel like I'm with my friends. It feels like I'm trapped in a box and I can't breathe."

  
"Have you told them about this?" 

  
Sal shook his head, walking closer to the taller boy. "I don't want to hurt their feelings, because it's not their fault." 

  
"Larry told me to say he's sorry."

  
"I know." He murmured, immediately easing up as Travis wrapped his arms around him. "My dad's drinking again."

 

  
Travis tried not to look surprised. "How do you know?"

  
"He had stopped for a while. I thought he was getting better, with dating Lisa and everything... but apparently not."

  
"Is it serious?" The blond asked, gently running a hand through Sal's hair and undoing his now messy braids.

  
"All I know is that he bought a new flask recently and he gets home later than usual." He said, clear worry in his voice.

  
"Hey... maybe you're just overthinking. Have you talked to him?"

  
"I got mad at him. He told me that everything is fine, that he's not that person anymore. But it's hard to believe that." Sal sniffled, unbuckling the straps of his prosthetic and taking it off. Crying with his prosthetic on could be pretty painful.

  
"Is that why you don't drink?" He asked after a moment, and Sal nodded.

  
"That's why I didn't want to hang out with the others. I love them, but they don't understand that alcohol is not needed to have fun. They piss me off sometimes, and Todd wasn't there to back me up."

  
"Maybe you should tell them. Pushing people away will just make things more complicated." Travis said, allowing himself to wipe away Sal's tears.

  
"I just wanted to spend the day with you, but Larry's always up my ass." Sal said quietly, leaning into his touch.

  
"Did you tell him.. about us?"

  
"He doesn't know anything, I'd never out you like that." Sal said sincerely, looking down at his feet.

 

  
Travis smiled softly, slouching down and placing a kiss on Sal's forehead. "We can still go back to our original plan. We could eat and watch a movie, then sleep. How's that sound?"

  
"Sounds good..." 

  
"Let's cook something. I heard it's therapeutic."

  
"That's bullshit." Sal chuckled lightly, and Travis thought it was adorable.

  
"I'm serious!"

  
"Well, only edible thing I have right now is mac and cheese." Sal announced with fake enthusiasm in his voice.

  
"Like, actual pasta with actual cheese, or is it that shit they sell in boxes?" 

  
Sal raised an eyebrow, pulling away. "That shit they sell in boxes is actually good." He said and walked to the kitchen area, placing his hands on his hips. "A little help?" 

  
Travis smirked, walking over to him and opening the cupboard that Sal couldn’t reach. He grabbed a box of mac and cheese, giving him a bland look. "How can you call this food?" 

  
"Stop being picky."

 

  
After a bit more teasing about Sal's horrible taste in packaged food, they actually managed to cook and have fun at the same time.

  
They both ate their bowls of pasta, Sal sitting on the kitchen counter. Every small thing became a topic for conversation, and Travis felt like they had been a couple for years. With the difference that they hadn't, and they weren't technically dating.

 

  
"I think I'm going to take a shower." Sal said as he put both plates in the sink, turning to face Travis. "You coming?"

  
"I.. uh... in the- Why?" He stuttered out, looking down as Sal placed a hand on his chest, gently pushing him back until he hit the counter.

  
"What do you think?"

  
Travis felt his face heat up, frowning as Sal snickered. "I'm just kidding, dork." He said, standing on his toes and pressing his lips to Travis's. "That's for later." 

  
Travis just stood there as he watched Sal leave the room, running a hand over his face. He eventually started doing the dishes, smiling dizzily.

 

  
After they had both showered and gotten into their night clothes, the boys sat on the couch, watching television. Any opportunity they had to kiss or touch each other didn't go to waste. They quite obviously weren't focusing on the movie. 

  
Travis scooted away when the front door was shut open. Sal's father walked in, lazily removing his coat. He looked exhausted, and it took him a minute to notice Travis's presence.

  
"Good evening, Mr. Fisher."

  
The man faced them, reciprocating Travis’s smile. "How many times do I have to tell you? Just call me Henry." He said, "How are you guys?"

  
"We're good. Travis's staying the night, there’s some leftovers for you." Sal said, keeping his gaze fixed on the glowing screen.

  
"Ah, I already ate, actually. But thanks, kiddo." Henry sighed, running a hand through his discolored blue hair. "I'll see you tomorrow, I suppose."

  
"Goodnight, M- Henry." Travis corrected himself with a small chuckle, slowly turning his attention back to Sal.

 

 

 

After the movie had finished, Sal turned the television off, absently chewing on what was left of his bottom lip.

  
"It's getting late." He said matter-of-factly, standing up and taking hold of Travis's hand.

  
Travis said nothing as he followed him to his bedroom and Sal sat down, carefully taking his prosthetic eye out and placing it in a glass of water.

  
It was a routine that Travis was slowly getting used to, and Sal's empty eye socket didn't gross him out as much as it did when he had found out about it. He thought it was pretty cool, actually. 

  
"You tired?" Travis asked, sitting next to him before lying down on his side. The question was rhetorical, they obviously weren't tired. Both boys had secretly been waiting for this moment. Just them, alone in the dark, no one else.

 

  
Sal didn't answer, he just lay down as well, and soon their lips met in a kiss. It felt like heaven, to have Sal so close and being able to taste his lips, feel his scars. 

  
Sal placed his hands on Travis's shoulders, opening his mouth into the kiss and humming softly once he felt Travis's hand settle on the small of his back and slowly slide under his shirt.

  
His hands were rough, but his movements attentive. He always tried to be careful when it came to touching Sal.

 

  
Sal didn't protest, so he proceeded to run his hand farther up his body. He was thrilled, and he smiled at Sal's quiet whimper when he brushed his thumb against his slowly hardening nipple.

  
Travis felt something hard and cold in between his fingers, and his eyes widened as Sal chuckled breathlessly.  "You like them?"

 

  
"When did you get them?" Travis asked, absently playing with the small metal studs he had found.

  
"Like a month ago. I kind of regret it... I pretty much lost sensitivity." He murmured, "But they're cool, so that's all right." 

  
"You're so fucking hot." Travis snickered, placing a kiss on Sal's wrinkled jaw. 

  
"You too." Sal mumbled under his breath, he loved Travis's small kisses more than anything.  
He also liked the fact that despite being shy, Travis was always willing to make some kind of move, even if not too risky. That was a big thing coming from the insecure church boy everyone thought him to be.

  
But then it was Sal's turn to make his move, and he quickly trailed his lips down Travis's neck, gently nipping at his tanned skin before starting to suck on it. 

  
"Sal, nothing that people can see, okay?" Travis gasped in response. Useless to say, no one knew about them being a thing yet, and he didn't want things to blow out of proportion for something as stupid as a hickey.

  
Sal rolled his eye but nodded, moving his head downwards and settling on a spot by his collarbone. He tugged at the collar of Travis's shirt for more room, eventually starting to suck dark marks into his skin.

 

  
The way Travis's breath hitched made Sal's heart flutter, and the hand that had slowly made its way down and gently squeezed his ass was enough to make his hips jolt forwards.

 

His lips found Travis's again as he instinctively pressed himself against him, raising an eyebrow and grinning when he felt his prominent hard-on against his stomach. 

 

  
"Trav," Sal murmured against his lips, trying to keep himself from looking down. "You have a boner." 

  
The blond's eyes widened just slightly, his face heating up. In shame or anticipation, he didn't know. "Shit, I'm so sorry." He muttered, placing his hands on the other boy's shoulders as an attempt to create some kind of distance between them.

  
"Don't, it's okay." Sal reassured him, pressing himself against Travis once again and smiling as his breath caught in his throat. "I want this, but only if you want it, too." 

 

  
Travis found himself stuttering. Of course he wanted it, he just didn't know how to express it. "I... okay. Yes. I want it." 

  
Sal's face lit up, and he pressed his lips against Travis's in a quick kiss, their teeth clicking. They were both eager, virginal teenagers after all.

  
"Sit up." He said after a minute and Travis complied, sitting at the edge of the bed and swallowing hard as Sal dropped on his knees in front of him. 

  
After settling in between Travis's legs, Sal ran his hands up from his knees to his upper thighs, slipping his thumbs under the waistline of Travis's sweatpants and pulling them down.

 

 

Soon enough, Travis's pants were on the floor, and he had never felt so exposed in his life. He could feel the sharp, cold air on his skin, contrasted by Sal's soft, warm hands that were now tugging at the hem of his boxers. 

  
Sal didn't look displeased by the sight in front of him. Travis was aware of being just slightly above average, but it was nothing Sal couldn't handle. 

  
On the other hand, Travis was sure that he wouldn't have been able to handle how Sal's wet, scarred lips were going to feel against him.

 

  
And he was right. He let out the faintest moan as Sal started placing gentle kisses up his length, eventually giving it a few experimental kitten licks.  
It was a big turn-on, but delightful at the same time.  
Sal was always so sweet and caring, and Travis figured that it applied to blowjobs as well. 

  
He could tell that this was Sal's first time doing anything remotely sexual, too. Despite wanting to be in control, his hands were trembling and his breath was shaky and hot against Travis, making him shiver. 

 

  
The slick sound of Sal's tongue flicking against him made Travis's eyes almost roll back in pleasure. 

  
He was struggling to keep quiet, and he knew damn well that Sal's father was in the next room and that he couldn't let loose.  
He hated himself for it, but that just turned him on even more. 

 

  
As the minutes passed Sal started to gain confidence in his movements, even allowing himself to chuckle as Travis twitched in his palm whenever he did something he liked with tongue.

  
He was definitely taking his time, and Travis had to clasp a hand over his mouth when Sal took the tip in his mouth, sucking on it just slightly and making his way down on him.

  
His eyes then fluttered shut as he finally felt the heat of Sal's mouth around him completely. It was the strangest feeling, nothing like he had ever felt before. He knew that he was going to remember it forever. 

 

  
He also knew that he wasn't going to last long, considering how well Sal was doing. He might have gagged a few times, but Travis didn't care, he would just tell him that it was all right. 

  
Eventually, one of his hands went to tangle itself in Sal's hair, bright blue strands almost glowing in the dark. It made Travis's stomach churn, how beautiful Sal was.

  
The shorter boy looked up when Travis brushed his bangs out of his eyes, and he could tell that he was smiling.   
"You're so beautiful." He whispered, swiping his tongue over Travis as small droplets of precum leaked out of him, then taking him in his mouth again. 

  
"God, Sal. I'm gonna cum." Travis murmured, quiet groans escaping his throat as Sal released him with a loud popping sound, sucking on the tip and moaning around him, quickly pushing him over the edge. 

 

  
He bit his lip hard and leaned his head back, moaning out Sal's name a few times as he came, the pressure in his lower abdomen dissolving into pleasure.

  
He couldn't really register what he was saying, because Sal was stroking him through his orgasm, making his thighs tremble and turning his brain into putty. 

 

  
When Travis looked down, Sal's face scrunched up, and he could tell that he wasn't fond of the taste. He managed to swallow it down though, making eye contact with Travis, who had stopped breathing for a minute.

 

  
Sal's neck and ears were flushed, his only eye shining in the dark. His lips were slightly parted, the thick liquid he hadn't been able to swallow dripping down his chin.

And he was the most beautiful creature Travis had ever laid his eyes on. 

  
Travis slowly reached out, placing a soft hand on his cheek and smiling as the other leaned into his palm.

  
When Travis eventually caught his breath and felt his heartbeat go back to normal, Sal stood up, quickly walking out of the room. 

 

  
The blond pulled his pants back up after a minute, his mind racing. He wondered if Sal had liked it as much as he had. He hadn't said much during and after, which made him kind of anxious.

  
But when Sal came back, the smile on his face told him that no words needed to be said. 

  
They both slid under the covers, Travis's arms immediately wrapping around Sal's smaller figure and holding him close. 

 

  
"That was... amazing." He murmured, earning a soft hum from the blue-haired boy in his arms. "You're amazing." 

  
Sal smiled and cupped Travis's face, pulling him into a gentle kiss. "You liked it?" He asked, his voice raspy. 

  
"I loved it." He replied, starting to place small kisses on Sal's cheek and jaw.

 

  
He kept doing that for a while, just wanting to hold him close and make him feel loved.

 

  
He didn't notice that Sal was crying until he heard him sob, and his eyes shot open immediately. "Sal? Did I- did I do something wrong?" He asked as he started to pull away, but Sal shook his head, burying his face in his chest. 

  
"No, no. It's just... my face," He whispered, his voice muffled by Travis's shirt. "You always act like it's normal. Like it doesn't affect this at all." 

  
It took Travis a moment to understand, and his expression softened. "Why would it affect this?"   
  
  
"Sometimes I feel like you're lying. Like, you find it disgusting, but you're too scared to admit it." 

  
"I... what?" He asked, pulling away slightly so he could look at him. "I don't find it disgusting. You know I think it's beautiful." 

  
Sal nodded, his breath shaky as he tried to keep himself from sobbing. "My head just fucks with me sometimes. I know you don't think that." He said, wiping his eye with his sleeve. "But I'm fucked up. Even earlier, I blew shit out of proportion for no reason. Not even my friends can stand me."

  
Travis reached out, brushing a strand of his blue hair behind his ear. "Sal, we all love you. You're not fucked up." 

 

  
Travis had to admit that his heart ached a little when Sal pulled away from his touch. "You don't understand."

  
"Yeah... I don't." 

  
"And that's what's so scary. I'm... just afraid that you'll get sick of me and my face one day." He whispered, fiddling with his fingers under the soft blanket.

  
"Sal." He started, "I can't fix you, I know I can't. It wouldn't be healthy if I thought it were possible. But you can heal, and you can get better. I want to be there for you, okay?" 

  
"Okay." Sal inhaled through his nose, swallowing thickly. "I like you, I really do."

  
"Then why are you crying?" Travis asked, stroking Sal's cheekbone with his thumb.

  
"All the affection... it can be overwhelming." 

  
"I'm sorry," Travis said in the most sincere tone he could pull off. "From now on I'll always ask if I can touch or kiss your face. I didn't think it could make you uncomfortable."

  
"I know." Sal said, and the corner of his mouth curled up in a weak smile. "Thanks for understanding... I really am trying not to fuck this up." 

  
"I'll always do my best to understand." He said, smiling back. "Can I kiss you?" 

  
"Yes." Sal quickly leaned in closer and pecked Travis's lips affectionately.

  
"You love me."

  
"I might." Sal teased back, eventually burying his face in the crook of Travis's neck and closing his eyes. 

 

  
And like that he dozed off in Travis's arms, his chest flush with the blond's as he held onto him tightly.

  
Everything was perfect. Travis just wanted to stay there with him forever, or at least until the Lord would let him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are always appreciated. Thanks for reading, and have a nice day!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Consistency? Don't know her

After that night Travis and Sal's relationship only grew stronger.

  
When Travis had first kissed him, Sal hadn't expected them to become an actual thing. He knew Travis had issues, and he had honestly been wanting to play along just to help him come to his own conclusions. He had realized things were starting to get serious when Travis had first called him his boyfriend.

 

Travis was pretty good-looking, and the way he had changed in such a short amount of time was just helping Sal to get a better opinion of him. But actually _dating_ him?

 

Sal had never dated anyone before. He had been asked out as dares in middle school, and that whole experience hadn’t helped him improve his approach towards new relationships for sure.

 

  
But with Travis, he felt like it could actually work. He refused to take him for granted, because he actually had feelings for him, and the thought of losing him was enough to ruin his day. And he did think about it, a lot.

 

No one had ever made him feel the way Travis did, both physically and mentally. Hell, he could take his prosthetic off around him without feeling uncomfortable, which was a big deal to him.

 

 

He found himself hanging out with Travis more than his best friends, which raised a few questions. But what could he say? Spending time with Travis was just so fulfilling. Whether they were playing video games or cuddling or enjoying their time in every way two teenagers could think of, Sal would take it.

 

 

Sal was also the one to suggest going public about it. Travis was having none of it, though, and when Sal asked him to prom, the guy looked genuinely scared. Going to prom with another guy basically meant coming out to the whole school, and while Sal could be naive on certain aspects, Travis knew that it could have caused problems. Nockfell wasn't exactly a town full of open-minded people.

  
Sal accepted his decision, and decided not to go to prom at all. Travis felt _guilty_. He wanted a relationship that he could show off proudly and he wanted to make Sal happy, but for how much it hurt to admit, he couldn't. Not like that, at least.

 

  
Sal noticed how depressed he looked that night, and interrupted their usual couch cuddling session by standing up and rushing to his room. When he came back with a small stereo Larry had gifted him, Travis smiled in confusion.

  
"What are you doing?"

  
"Let's dance." Sal said as he set the stereo down. Sal’s smile was contagious, Travis didn’t know how he had managed to live all those years without seeing Sal’s happy face.

  
"Let's not do this right now."

  
"You don't have to feel bad. Fuck the school dance, we can have our own." Sal scoffed, inserting one of his cassettes in the slot. _You Shook Me All Night Long_  by AC/DC started playing. "Come on, baby." He held his hands out, tilting his head to the side. Travis obviously couldn’t say no to that.

 

  
When he eventually gave in and pushed himself on his feet with a roll of his eyes, Sal smiled, starting to headbang at the rhythm of the music. Travis didn't take him seriously at first, but he soon got the hang of it - because _fuck it_ , he wasn’t going to let himself ruin their night- and they both started to dance in the living room of Sal's apartment.

  
When they eventually stopped dancing so that they could make out, _Hells Bells_  ironically playing in the background, Travis felt like he was in Heaven. He felt wild, and being himself didn't feel so wrong anymore.

  
Travis hadn't expected to find a sweaty, dancing Sal so hot, and he also hadn't expected him to drop on his knees, unbuckle his belt and start to suck him off right there and then, but he definitely wasn't complaining

  
Sal still couldn't believe that Travis was allowing him to touch him like this. He loved to feel Travis go weak because of him, especially when he told him that he was all his. Travis was okay with that, he couldn't imagine being anyone else's.

 

 

* * *

 

  
  
  
After a few weeks, Travis finally graduated along with Larry, Ashley and Todd. Travis had been anxious, fearing- or maybe expecting- to see his father in the crowd. He wasn't there in the end, and Travis didn't know if he should have felt relieved or not. He hated him, he really did. But it was still his father, and he wasn't going to see his son graduate high school.

  
On the other hand, his mother and his new family had driven all the way to Nockfell so that they could assist to his graduation ceremony. Sal had come as well, and there was definitely something special about seeing his family and the love of his life in the same crowd. He quickly forgot about his father.

 

  
When Sal walked up to him and pulled him into a tight embrace, Travis strangely didn't pull away, even when he saw his mother approaching them.

  
"I'm proud of you, baby." Sal whispered before pulling back. He then found himself face to face with Travis's mother, and his jaw almost dropped. She was gorgeous, he could recognize some of Travis's face features in her. She was smiling warmly at him, a knowing look in her dark eyes.

  
Sal didn't know what to say, or what he should have introduced himself as, so he let the other do the talking.

  
"Mom, this is Sal. He's my best friend. I wish you two could have met sooner." Travis cleared his throat, and Sal couldn't help but grimace when Travis called him his best friend. Luckily no one could see his disappointment.

  
"Pleasure to meet you, Mrs..?" Sal hesitated, holding a hand out to shake.

  
"Call me Beatriz." The woman smiled brightly, ignoring Sal's hand and hugging him instead, catching him off guard. "Thanks for taking care of my boy."

 

 

Her words were enough to change his mood, and he reciprocated the hug quite willingly. This was his boyfriend’s mother, and probably one of the sweetest people he had ever met. She had been one of the only people who hadn't asked about his prosthetic or given him weird looks because of it. They separated after a moment, and Sal felt something in his chest tingle. He didn’t know a warm hug would have made him miss his own mother so much.

  
"Mom..." Travis huffed, smiling in embarrassment at his mother’s gesture. “Don’t get too handsy.”

 

“I’m not.” She glanced over at Sal again, her eyes lighting up. “Lord, that skirt is gorgeous. Where’d you get it?”

 

 

* * *

 

 

  
Larry's graduation party idea had been discarded, Sal and his friends thought it would have been more appropriate to just spend the night together like old times. Todd's boyfriend was there too, and they both looked particularly excited.

  
Turns out Neil and Todd were moving in together, and they had offered Sal and Larry to move in with them as some kind of college adventure. And while Larry had declined the offer for personal reasons -why pay rent when you can just keep living in a basement for free?- Sal had accepted, and he looked as impatient as them. He really just couldn't wait to move out of Addison apartments.

 

  
Travis had no idea where he was going to stay for college. And that's exactly what he told Larry when he was asked about it.

  
"College starts in like two months, how haven't you thought about it yet?" Larry asked, looking up at the ceiling of his room as he blew out smoke through his nose.

  
"I'm not sure." Travis murmured, shrugging his shoulders as a way to make Sal stop leaning against him. The gesture made the shorter boy frown, and he glared at him for a moment.

 

  
Travis was a completely different person when they weren't alone. He was colder, much more distant, even when it came to their best friends. Sal couldn't understand why he was so afraid of telling them about their relationship. His father was out of the way, and he was pretty sure that Travis's mother would have accepted him no matter what.

  
But Travis didn't budge. He hated talking about an eventual coming out, to the point that Sal had feared a break up the last time he had brought it up.

  
So he never did it angain, and he decided that he'd stick with being his 'best friend'.

 

  
Todd watched the scene in front of him, exchanging glances with Neil. "You could come with us. The more we are, the less expensive the rent will be."

  
"No, it's okay. I'll find a place eventually." Travis said before taking a sip of his fruit punch, looking away as Sal stood up.

  
"I'm going to the bathroom." He mumbled, not waiting for an answer before he walked out of Larry's bedroom. He was clearly distressed, he couldn't help but think that Travis's refusal was his fault.

 

  
There was a moment of uncomfortable silence before Larry pushed himself up on his elbows. "What's up with you, man?" He scoffed at Travis's confused expression. "We all saw that."

  
"Saw what?"

  
Ashley raised an eyebrow, "You're ignoring Sal and overall treating him like shit. That's cold, considering how much he cares about you."

  
Larry nodded in agreement, sitting up. "Leaning against someone or holding hands isn't gay, you know." He chuckled awkwardly at Todd's unamused glance. "And even if there were gay intentions behind it... we wouldn't think anything of it." He said, pointing towards Todd and Neil dramatically. "I mean, look at them!"

  
"You’re just jealous" Neil chuckled lightly to break the tension, stroking the back of Todd's hand with his thumb.

 

  
The room fell silent again, and the only thing Travis could hear was his heart hammering in his chest. His head was pounding, his hands trembling. _This is it, isn't it?_

  
"We're dating." He sputtered out, bringing his knees up to his chest and looking down at his feet.

 

  
There was another moment of silence, and Travis almost felt like running out of Larry's room, and the whole apartment building for that matter.

  
"What?" Ashley's voice made him snap out of his haze, everyone's eyes were on him.

  
Travis swallowed thickly, "Sal and I. We're together."

  
"How... how long?" Ashley asked quietly. If Travis hadn't known that Sal used to have a crush on her, he probably wouldn't have felt as irritated as he did every time she spoke.

  
"Probably a month, or something."

  
Larry's eyes widened as if he had just realized something, his lips tilted upwards in a grimace. "Oh, God..." He said, "You're the one whose dick he sucked."

 

  
Neil snorted while Ashley clasped a hand over her mouth, looking away as she tried not to laugh. Todd just furrowed his eyebrows in annoyance.

  
"What?" Travis asked, his glance reluctantly meeting Larry's.

  
"He bragged about giving his first blowjob for days, but we didn't believe him." Larry sighed dramatically, putting the cigarette out in his ashtray. "Now I can't get the image out of my head."

 

  
Travis's hands started trembling again, and he buried his face in them, pushing them through his hair and tugging on it slightly. "Please... please do not tell anyone." He sobbed out, and suddenly no one was smiling anymore.

  
"Why would we tell? We're not that shitty, Travis." Ashley said, crossing her legs ladylike.

  
"It's all right, man. Honestly, we all knew. Todd's gaydar never lies." Larry quickly added, smiling at Neil's chuckle.

  
"That's correct." The dark-skinned man hummed, while Todd simply kept his focus on Travis.

  
"I understand your concern. Neil and I know it, it's hard to be in a gay relationship with such closed-minded people around."

  
"But your fear shouldn't get in the way of your relationships." Neil retorted, earning a nod from Todd.

  
"You should at least consider my offer."

 

  
Before Travis could reply, the door was shut open and Sal walked back inside. Despite wanting to look like he wasn't interested in the conversation, his eyes softened as soon as he realized that Travis had been crying.

  
"What's going on?" He asked as he sat on the floor next to Travis once again. He was genuinely surprised when Travis wrapped an arm around his shoulders, pulling him closer and nuzzling the top of his head.

  
"Nothing, I'm okay." He murmured, closing his eyes. When he opened them again, Larry was smiling at him, and so was Ashley- and so was everyone else, he realized. Suddenly, he felt like a heavy weight had been lifted off his chest. Sal had cuddled up against him, holding onto his shirt gently.

  
"I'm proud of you." He whispered for the second time that day. Travis smiled at that, glancing at Todd and giving him a nod of his head.

 

 

* * *

 

 

  
That summer was the best summer of Travis's life. He used to hate summer, considering that he had always spent summer break at church camp. But now that he wasn’t forced to go and he had people to spend his time with, he focused on actually having fun, for once. He even took part in Sal’s ridiculous- at least Travis thought they were- ghost hunting attempts. Travis didn't really believe in ghosts, so he couldn't understand why Sal and Larry seemed to take it so seriously, but he figured that he should have just let them have their fun.

  
He came to the conclusion that days fly by extremely fast when you're with the people you love.

 

  
July came, and Travis started packing his stuff so that he could move back to Nockfell. It was remotely easy considering that he didn't have much valuable stuff to get in, but the thought of moving was still pretty nerve-wrecking. Sal helped him with it, and by August he had officially moved in with Todd and Neil.

  
The house wasn't too far from Addison Apartments, but the atmosphere was much lighter, and for some reason Travis didn't feel as tense as he did whenever he visited Sal's place.  
His room was nothing fancy, but it was cozy and it made him feel like an adult, if that makes sense. Plus, he could have Sal staying over whenever he wanted him to.

 

  
In August Travis's birthday also came. He was eighteen now, and it was a special occasion. Everyone organized a surprise party for him, and he might have shed a tear of joy. He was so grateful for his friends, and now that he didn't have to hide their relationship anymore, he was also grateful for his boyfriend.

  
The table had been set up with a small buffet composed of snacks and a few bottles of liquor laying around. Music played in the background, and everyone was wearing funny birthday hats. Travis was speechless, but did it feel nice.

 

  
"My baby is all grown up now." Sal hummed, wrapping his arms around Travis's waist and hugging him from behind. "You like the party?"

  
"It's amazing. You didn't have to do all this..." Travis said with a soft smile, turning around to face him. "God, I love you so much."

  
Sal grinned behind his prosthetic, trailing his fingers up and down Travis's arm. "I'm glad you like it."

  
"Get a room, you two." Larry scoffed, tossing an empty plastic cup in Travis's direction.

  
"It's cake time!" Chug announced right after, watching as Maple walked in with a tray from the kitchen.

  
"You got me cake, too?" Travis asked, his expression softening. He wasn’t used to being appreciated. "Thank you, guys."

 

  
After lighting up the candles everyone sang a happy birthday song, Larry doing his best to make it awkward for Travis. It was fun though, everything felt so natural, and when Sal asked him to make a wish the only thing he could wish for was this to never end.

  
After Travis cut the first slice, he didn't expect Ashley to grab the plate and smash it directly onto his face. Everyone in the room started laughing, even Sal, who was only slightly worried about Travis taking it badly and losing his temper.

  
"What the fuck," Travis grunted, trying to clean the whipped cream off his face. The sight of Ashley laughing made him see red for a moment, and he took hold of the rest of the cake, that soon landed on the brunette's face.

  
Everyone gasped and proceeded to laugh at Ashley's cry, a chuckle escaping Travis's throat as well.

  
"You fucking-"

  
"You started it." Travis said dryly, smiling as Sal offered him a napkin.

 

  
"I come in peace, don't cream-pie me." He winked. Larry stuck his tongue out, pretending to gag.

  
"That... you made it sound so bad." Travis said in a snicker, taking hold of the napkin and trying to get cleaned up.  "I got cake in my goddamn hair."

  
"Loosen up, it's your birthday." Sal tried to cheer him up. They got lost in each other's eyes for a moment, and Travis smiled again.

  
"I know, I'm just joking around." He mumbled, twirling a strand of Sal's hair in between his fingers. "Tonight was fun. Thank you for everything."

  
"Don't mention it." Sal stood on his toes, nuzzling Travis's nose with his prosthetic one.

 

  
"Can you guys stop eye-fucking each other and get back here? We've got some whipped cream to take care of." Larry called out for them, but as Travis went to turn around Sal grabbed his chin, sliding his prosthetic over his lips and pulling the other into a kiss. They never really kissed in front of their friends, especially when Larry was around- but neither of them seemed to care.

  
"I can't wait to be alone with you later." Sal murmured, and Travis couldn’t help the huff of laughter that left his mouth before he kissed him again.

 

  
Travis was happy. There was no other way to describe how he felt. He was in love, and for once he felt like he deserved all the happiness that came from it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are always appreciated!! Thank you for reading and have a nice day. :))


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